Words of Wellness with Shelly
Do you get confused by all of the information that is available regarding ways to improve your health and wellness? Do you often become frustrated or overwhelmed with decisions on how to be your healthiest? We all know and understand how important our health and wellness is to the vitality of our lives, however navigating the wealth of health and wellness information available can often feel overwhelming. Understanding the significance of our well-being in leading fulfilling lives is crucial, yet determining what steps to take that are essential for our health can often be confusing.
Welcome everyone to "Words of Wellness"! In this podcast, hosted by Shelly Jefferis, M.A., a seasoned health and wellness professional with over 35 years in the industry, all of your questions will be answered and clarity will be provided through personal stories, education, tips and inspiration. Throughout her profession, Shelly has always had the heart and desire to help others feel their best and live their best lives through her supportive and compassionate approach. Through engaging solo and guest episodes, several topics will be addressed, questions will be answered and clarity will be provided in an effort to lead you to a healthier, more energetic life. With a master’s degree in kinesiology, extensive experience as an educator, speaker, coach, and entrepreneur, Shelly brings a wealth of knowledge and a genuine passion for empowering others to feel their best. By featuring industry experts and relatable individuals, the podcast promises personal stories, practical advice, and inspiration. She is excited to come to you weekly sharing all she has experienced, learned and discovered through the years. Whether you're seeking to elevate your well-being, gain practical insights for personal health, or simply be inspired to live a high quality vibrant life, this is the podcast is for YOU! Be sure to tune in weekly and join us along our "Words of Wellness" journey and embark on a path toward a healthier and more fulfilling quality of life full of happiness, energy and joy!
Words of Wellness with Shelly
Rewire Your Wellness By Training Your Unconscious Mind
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The fastest way to change your health might be the part nobody taught you to train: your mind. Shelly sits down with Dr. Andrea Maxim, a naturopathic doctor and mindset coach, to get honest about why diet culture keeps pulling women back into the same loop: go all in, fall off once, then decide you’ve failed. We’re not doing shame or perfection today. We’re looking at what actually drives behavior and how to change it for good.
Andrea breaks down the difference between the conscious mind and the unconscious mind, and why so much of your day is run on autopilot. We talk through the limiting beliefs that show up in the wellness space like “I’m not good enough,” “I’m powerless,” or “I’m unworthy,” and how those hidden programs can fuel emotional eating, rigid rules, and the need for certainty. We also explore neuroplasticity, “wherever your focus goes, grows,” and what it really means to “rewire your brain” without making it feel woo-woo.
You’ll hear practical tools you can use right away: language shifts that pull you out of powerless patterns, how to make “I am” statements land in your nervous system, and why boundaries are a wellness skill, especially for moms who carry guilt for taking time. We also introduce a simple framework Andrea calls Victim Island versus Solution Island, so you can stop camping in the story and start building the bridge to better choices.
If you’re ready for a healthier relationship with food, a more sustainable weight loss mindset, and simple steps that support your emotional well-being, press play. Subscribe to Words of Wellness, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review so more listeners can find these tools.
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Thank you for listening to the Words of Wellness podcast with Shelly Jefferis. I am honored and so grateful to have you here and it would mean the world to me if you could take a minute to follow, leave a 5-star review and share the podcast with anyone you love and anyone you feel could benefit from the message.
Thank you and God Bless! And remember to do something for yourself, for your wellness on this day!
In Health,
Shelly
The Unconscious Mind Runs The Day
SPEAKER_00And I then realized that there's this entirely other mind that we have, which is our unconscious mind. Some may people call it the subconscious. And that is actually running 96% of our entire day. You can completely rewire your brain. And we didn't think that that was possible. And truly, it's just wherever your focus goes, grows. So if we can stay away from what we don't want and start focusing on what we do, that is a beautiful first step to dropping that all or nothing, dropping the perfectionism.
SPEAKER_01Do
Welcome To Words Of Wellness
SPEAKER_01you get confused by all of the information that barbards us every day on ways to improve our overall health and our overall wellness? Do you often feel stuck, unmotivated, or struggle to reach your wellness goals? Do you have questions as to what exercises you should be doing? What foods you should or should not be eating? How to improve your overall emotional and mental well-being? Hello everyone, I am so excited to welcome you to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries, and I will be your host. My goal is to answer these questions and so much more. To share tips, education, and inspiration around all of the components of wellness through solo and guest episodes. With 35 plus years as a health and wellness professional, a retired college professor, a speaker, and a multi-passionate entrepreneur, I certainly have lots to share. However, my biggest goal and inspiration in doing this podcast is to share the wellness stories of others with you. To bring in guests who can share their journeys so that we can all learn together while making an impact on the health, the wellness, and lives of all of you, our listeners. The ultimate hope is that you leave today with even just one nugget that can enhance the quality of your life, and that you will, we all will, now and into the future, live our best quality of lives full of energy, happiness, and joy. Now let's dive into our message for today.
Diet Culture And The All Or Nothing Trap
SPEAKER_01Hi, my friends, and welcome back to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly, and I will be your host and my guest today. She is a mindset coach and a naturopathic doctor. And I know that we have a lot of things in common and in alignment when it comes to our profession. So I'm very excited to jump into this conversation. So welcome, Dr. Andrea, to Words of Wellness.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh, thank you so much. I am really looking forward to this conversation today. And I know your listeners are going to love it too.
SPEAKER_01I'm sure that they will. And I've been really looking forward to it as well. So I'm excited that it worked out for us to coordinate. And I know one of the things we were talking about before we started to record is both of our views on the diet culture, diet industry, and you do a lot of work with, I'm guessing probably mostly females when it comes to their mindset to help them get away from that type of a day-to-day living because we know the diets don't work. Period. Yep. So I feel like, and I know that you do the mindset work. And I know for me personally, being in this industry for so many years, I often will say and I truly believe that it's so much more than just what we're doing for physical body, nutrition, fitness. I I believe, I'm sure you do as well, that the mindset is really the biggest contributor to our overall health and the decisions we're making, right? Yes. So share a little bit. I would love to kind of hear what you do. Um and then also just what you recommend so we can kind of help our listeners maybe today leave with a couple tips. If they are in that kind of mode of thinking, of you know, it's it's always comes back to that kind of all or nothing mentality, I feel like.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01Yes. So let's let's dive into that a little bit.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
Andrea’s Story And The Hypnosis Pivot
SPEAKER_00Now, the best place for me to start is kind of uh my story, how I got into this. And that will, I think, help the listeners appreciate why the mindset truly is everything when it comes to health and and truly anything. So when I was little, I knew I was going to be a doctor. And the only form of medicine that I had ever heard of was conventional medicine. And it wasn't until my fifth year of university where I discovered naturopathic medicine, which is a natural way of treating people without using prescriptions, and it was merely a Google search. So let's fast forward. I'm running my clinic, and I have always worked with women and weight loss and hormones. I have a history of when I was a young teenager, 45 pounds overweight. I weighed more than my mom at that time. It was post my parents getting a divorce and then lost it all in six months. And the shifts that happened, and the reason why I was so successful losing weight, other than I was young and had a fantastic metabolism, is it was literally a mindset shift that all of a sudden my mind said, we're not doing it this old way anymore. We are 100% all in on this new way. So now I'm a naturopath, and all we learn in naturopathic school is the physical elements to help the body heal. So be it supplements, herbs, diet, lifestyle, you know, um emotional management tools. And my women, when I was working with them, were getting success. And then when we would go on longer periods without check-ins, they would start to revert back into old patterns. Or they were really successful until that big life event happened. And then everything went sideways. And it got to the point where I was almost ready to give up on my license because I was just like, I want this so badly for these women. And there's something that I don't know that's getting in the way of me really giving them the success story I want them to have. And I kind of went on a journey myself where I, again, was doing some business coaching. The business coach recommended hypnotherapy. So I started looking into hypnosis and I was like, what is this? And I then realized that there's this entirely other mind that we have, which is our unconscious mind. Some may people call it the subconscious. And that is actually running 96% of our entire day. As a naturopath, I'm playing only in the 4%, which is the conscious mind. And right now, all of your listeners and you are listening to me consciously. You're using logic and reasoning and saying, Do I agree with Andrea? Do I like the way she sounds? Am I connecting with this topic so far? That's conscious. Everything else we do, think, or feel is completely unconscious. And as soon as I understood that there's this whole other part of our brain that's actually running 96% of our day, I was like, that's what I've been missing. And so two years later, about 400 hours of personal development work. I
Limiting Beliefs Behind Perfectionism
SPEAKER_00am now one of the highest trained mindset coaches in the country, and I'm in Canada. Um, and so now I'm merging the unconscious and the conscious with women. Now, why is that important for where we were going? In the weight loss, emotional eating space, because unless you know, you just think everything is about habits and willpower and routine and that all or nothing is you mentioned, which all or nothing, just as perfectionism thinking is immediate, um, is an immediate um result of failure. And I didn't articulate that well, but basically, all or nothing will always mean failure. Trying to do it perfect will always mean failure. And yet, when I'm starting to meet women, this is the way that they are thinking, where I want to do it all or I'm a failure, so I'm not gonna do any of it. And it's this all or nothing all or nothing thinking that we get trapped into.
SPEAKER_01Do you know? I'm just curious your thought on this because I have dealt with this with some of my clients, and I often say, I don't know exactly where that whole thought process started. You know, society kind of built it into our brains. I'm not even sure. Personally, I have not ever been really in that mode of thinking that I can remember. But it's so common, right? Because people want to have results, they want it now, and they're willing to do anything and everything. And the second they fall off their routine, like you're saying, it's like it's failure and they give up or they get like really down on themselves. I've seen it happen. And I, you know, and I'm a big proponent, as I'm sure you are, that we most of the time, 80% of the time, make healthy choices and give ourselves the grace to be in able to enjoy our lives at the same time. Because I'm I am such a proponent of that because that's so important. And when people are obsessing about what they're eating and what they're doing and their weight and this and that and the other, and in that whole mindset of the all or nothing, it doesn't leave the space to enjoy and to relax and have that time to just be in your life and have that enjoyment of it, I feel.
SPEAKER_00Yes. And again, what we're talking about is the mindset piece. So this behavior, and I want to be very clear about our languaging here, the all or nothing behavior is coming from programs that are running at the unconscious level that are looking for certainty, where if I go 100%, I must certainly get to the result that I want. And if I don't do 100%, then there's no point. That's the all or nothing, right? I have to be a hundred percent strict and never eat sugar, never eat chips. And if I have even a little bit, well, I've blown it. So this is where we start exploring what limiting beliefs are going on at the unconscious level. And I'm gonna throw out the most common ones and I'm gonna ask the listeners and yourself, Shelly, if it does not resonate, reject it at the unconscious level. It is never my intention to install anything. Yet, if when I say these limiting beliefs, there is some sort of an internal ping, or you feel like, oh, or there's something that resonates with you, know that that program is most likely running inside. And for women in the context of this health space, I find that there's usually some core limiting beliefs that we all have until we remove them. The first most common one is I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough to have a healthy body, I'm not good enough to eat healthy, I'm not good enough to achieve success. I'm not a good enough mom. I'm not a good enough wife, I'm not a good enough employee, whatever that is. That's a very, very common one, especially for women. And when we don't feel good enough, we will then hyper um control or have this hyper-vigilance around controlling, just to prove to ourselves that we are. The other common one is I'm unsafe, which can also be um I'm uh uh unprotected. And that can also bring on these safety mechanisms that we create in our world to again add certainty, to add feelings of safety, including our weight and our size, can also act as a safety barrier to our environment if we don't feel safe. Another very common one is I am powerless. And so if we feel powerless, then we're also gonna feel powerless to our food um cravings, we're gonna feel powerless to our laziness versus you know going and working out at the gym. Um, and then the other one that I see some variation of is I'm unworthy or I'm undeserving. And in the health space, if you feel unworthy of being healthy, if you feel undeserving of health success, you will get that, meaning you'll get the antithesis of that. And across the board in my world, we say the oldest program that's been running wins over any new program that you want to install. So if this all got installed in our brain, like apps from our childhood, based on who our parents were, our dynamics with our siblings and all those things, and you're nodding.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I well, it's so interesting because I I'm thinking about this for people. Like, where does this start? And it makes so much sense that it starts somewhere through the early years, right? Because it gets instilled in us. And so that makes so much sense.
SPEAKER_00And I want to be very careful about placing blame towards anybody doing it. We all have the mom story or a dad story or a sibling story or whatever story. Typically, someone said something, someone did something, and we experienced something. Everything I'm talking about here is from our perception and how we interpreted those experiences. So therefore, it created a program. Now we're in 2026 and we want to be, you know, routine, eating healthy, doing 80%, not 100%. We want to drop 20 pounds. We have all these goals. And we are attempting to install these apps on our phone that is running from the 1970s or 80s, and it wouldn't work on our phones today, and it doesn't work in our programming. So, what we need to work on instead is wiping out and factory resetting those programs so that all that garbage is gone. And that is not erasing anything. It doesn't even require you to therapize it. We just have to choose that those programs are no longer getting any more juice, and there's so many different ways that we can do that so that now these new programs actually have a place to
Factory Reset Your Old Programs
SPEAKER_00grow. And then the more we feed them, the bigger they become. And if we look at neuroplasticity, you can completely rewire your brain. And we didn't think that that was possible. And truly, it's just wherever your focus goes, grows. So if we can stay away from what we don't want and start focusing on what we do, that is a beautiful first step to dropping that all or nothing, dropping the perfectionism. And that's kind of where I know our conversation is going.
SPEAKER_01Well, it's so fascinating to me because I'm always so, so interested to know the origin of where things start. And I feel like, and you you I'm sure you know this more than I do, but I really believe like society it's shifted. And I feel like so much of what maybe happened in the 70s. It wasn't so much maybe parents, but it's just what was going on around that time. Um, even 80s, it's just interesting to think what was happening through all of the years that has led to this in so many people. And obviously, it's you know, so many people that we're influenced by, but I'm always really so fascinated by where where did it start, where did it come from? And also I think it's so interesting. I just I'm so amazed about the percentage that is our subconscious. Like I've I've gone into this and I've learned about this a lot over the years, but it still is so fascinating again that there's so much that is being put into our subconscious. And the fact that we can control it and reverse some of those thoughts is exciting. It's so exciting. And I know there's probably some people that think if if this if this is new to some of our listeners, um, it might sound sometimes I think it might sound a little woo-woo, but it's it's not. I mean, it's real.
SPEAKER_00It's real, it's neuroscience, it's truly neuroscience. Right. What I think might our listeners would be thinking is, well, that sounds too easy, right? Or that sounds like magic, or that doesn't sound like something that I could do, or that's easy for other people and not me. Um and really what we're talking about here in a very simple mindset shift. And I I love to use the stories of when people go to Tony Robbins events and they say it changed their lives. Tony Robbins is a NLP-trained speaker. NLP is neurolinguistic programming, which is just how we communicate to the unconscious mind. And the reason why people have these amazing breakthroughs is because they're speaking to the audience in a way that is aligned with their values, aligned with where they want to grow to, there's no room for excuses anymore, there's no room for victim blaming anymore. And that's what's keeping women trapped. And we call this victim island, where when the world is happening to us, when people are doing things to us, well, I can't lose weight because my husband likes chips and he brings them home in the house. This is us staying stuck or trapped on Victim Island. And this
Victim Island Versus Solution Island
SPEAKER_00is where we've all been there. I will float to Victim Island sometimes on a daily basis. It's just how long are we camping there? What I've built is a beautiful bridge to get me off Victim Island in minutes, where back in the day it used to be months, if not years. Solution Island is where we take full responsibility for what we have and don't have. And if we can just start taking responsibility for, I can't blame anybody why I haven't lost 10 pounds because I haven't walked more than 3,000 steps a day. I can't blame anybody for the body that I have because I haven't lifted a weight in months, you know? And when we get radically real about what we are choosing to do or not do, what we're really doing here is we're eliminating the story because it's that story that we carry that's gonna keep us on Victim Island longer than being like, yeah, I was not integral to my word. I was not putting in the reps, literally. I was not choosing the right foods, and I have to take full responsibility for that. But here's what's cool kind of like what you were just saying. Every minute that you have in your future, you can make a radically different decision. And you always have choice and you always have free will. And this is where I really want your listeners to appreciate that just making different choices every moment that you can is slowly building those planks towards that solution island. And when we're there, we'll just by its very name, we can get better results, we can get to those solutions we're looking for.
SPEAKER_01I
Language That Creates Power
SPEAKER_01love it. I know one thing that I learned many years ago, and it was just a simple tweak in what we are saying out loud. Like I learned, like if you start with like a negative, I can't or a negative phrase, well then, you know, well, how does it go? If you say you can, you can. If you say you can't, you can't, you know? That's right. Right. And so it's like that starting that sentence, and and I get to a point now in my life where if I hear that, I kind of someone else talking like that, I kind of cringe, especially if it's in my family. I'm like, oh no, no, I get corrected to my husband a few times and he's he gets it. Another thing I was gonna say too was um being very definite, definitive, I guess, would be the better word of what we are saying, where you're going to do. One thing that I realized, and this is again for me personally, but I think it's kind of a simple, simple thing that. Can think about. I started cutting out the word try. I will try and do XYZ because I felt like if I say try, it's probably not going to happen. That's right. Right. So what are some simple things that you would recommend that people can do? I know another thing that I did for a while, and I and I was going to ask your feedback on this and kind of input again because I did go to a couple of Tony Robbins events and learned many years ago, just started learning about the you know personal development and mindset and the idea of talking out loud what you want to have happen, writing out your goals or writing out things you want to see happen. And I would be really good about it for a while. And then it felt like, and I've read other books about this and other people talking about how the fact that you're you're you're writing things out, and sometimes it's challenging to go, I am XYZ when you aren't that yet. So do you have a recommendation of the more realistic, or is that the way we should be going about it?
SPEAKER_00Okay.
I Am Statements That Actually Work
SPEAKER_00So what I love about what you just shared is what I call spell casting. So spelling, the words that you use absolutely cast a spell on your environment. So I love that you brought that up because just like you said, switching a word from try instead going to or not going to, you know, either way, you're right. I'm choosing to or I'm not choosing to, that still keeps you in a place of power. Now, talking about the identity work, which is the I am statements, it absolutely does work. Now, we have three ways that our nervous system listens to our bodies. One is visual, seeing something, second is auditory, hearing something, and the third is kinesthetic, feeling something. So you just hit all three of those, which are required as we're doing this work. We write out our I am statement, we say it out loud so we can hear it, and we feel it on the paper that we wrote it on, or feel ourselves writing it. When you do it that way, and I can tell you that it has to be that way. So if you skip a step, like you type it instead of write it, well, now you've lost that kinesthetic power, or you say it in your head instead of out loud, well, you've lost that auditory power. When we use all three of those rep systems, they're called, now we've fully activated our nervous system to pay attention and integrate those words. Now, I am doing this work currently, and there are times where I don't believe what I am reading, writing, and saying. And I validate that. The trick of this is, and this is even what Joe Dispenza teaches, is you have to keep going until you finally feel it. So doing it for a check mark does not work. Doing it to just get it done does not work. Your nervous system needs to feel the emotion behind those words to fully get activated. So there are times when I am doing these I am statements two or three times in a row to just get that feeling behind it. And that's the difference. And then if you do that every morning and every night, in the morning, as soon as you open your eyes before you do anything else, like pick up your phone, and at night, right before you close your eyes and go to bed, that's when your nervous system is the most connected to all of the manifestations that you want to create. That's how it's going to integrate even faster.
SPEAKER_01Ah,
The Waiting Trap And Daily Choice
SPEAKER_01I'm like, I'm excited because this is remotivating me to do this again. Good. I think about the fact that this the exciting thing is I know we're talking about, we originally start our conversation talking about health, dieting, and I know there's also the part of the vision casting of how, how will you? I've done this with clients too, when they are at a place where they they want to feel better and they want to get healthier. It's like, where do you see yourself? What do you, what would you like to see yourself doing in, you know, two months, three months, a year from now when it comes to your health? It could be like being able to walk up and down the stairs easier or play with my grandkids on the floor, whatever it is, right? And I think that the exciting thing about this is, yes, this is so relatable to what we're doing with our daily decisions when it comes to our health. However, it it relates to all so many aspects of our lives. It could be our health, it could be our business, it can be anything, right? That we're working towards. And that's that excites me.
SPEAKER_00What's coming to me about that is when I hear, well, I'm not gonna start until after my vacation. I'm not gonna make any changes until after I get through this crazy weekend. I'm not gonna do anything until. And it's this when I then I place that is just as much of a trap as the all or nothing. And exactly what you said, Shelly, wherever you are, there you are. And these goals and our nervous system and our limiting beliefs, as well as our positive programs, show up in every aspect of our life because wherever you are, there you are. And so that waiting game is also a hidden excuse of I don't really want it that badly yet, because it shouldn't matter wherever you are. And then, as I was saying, if we want to own it and be like, well, I know I'm not gonna get any new results because I'm not willing to do anything until XYZ date, and I also have to own that and not be upset about it and not have that self-loathing and that self-deprecating thought and hate seeing myself in the mirror and upset with my closet and clothes don't fit. You're choosing what you have, you're choosing what you don't have, and it is a work in progress. And we talked about this idea of certainty. Health is one of the most uncertain things ever, because we don't ever finish the race towards health and wellness until we're dead, right? Truly, right, right. It's an ongoing journey. I always it's an ongoing journey, and that's what makes it so challenging for so many people is that every day we're choosing healthier choices, just like every day we're choosing to stay with our partner. And I'll tell
Moms, Guilt, And Making Time
SPEAKER_00you, there are days in marriage where I want to like freaking bail and just like live in my RV. And and I have to, again, bring myself back and choose to stay in it. And when it comes to ourself, oftentimes it is much harder for us to oblige our own wants and desires. It's harder for us to do that than do somebody uh like do work for somebody else. Like I will drop everything and help my kids and my husband at the sacrifice of me, much easier. Right. And I will tell them they have to wait so I can do what I need to do. Have you experienced that yourself?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, well, a hundred percent. And that's a whole reason why I actually started creating a community. It's called Moms Who Flourish. And the real big reason was to help moms put their self-care, their wellness, their health as a priority because especially moms, we tend to do that, put our health, put our needs on the sidelines or the back corner. That's just, I mean, and it makes sense. You're you know, you do everything for your children and your husband, but but again, mostly your children, right? It's like you anything and everything for your children, right? And so there comes that time where you have to few fuel yourself, your nutrition, feed your soul, get your exercise, do the things you need to do so that you can then turn around and do the same for your for your family. And it's so true what you're saying. I mean, it just tends to be, we tend to go in that direction. And I think there's, well, I don't think, I know a lot of moms experience a lot of guilt around it too, when they take time for themselves. I still have sometimes if I go to have have a massage or what it's like, you know, it's just the weirdest thing. Like I don't have that as much now, but it still becomes like almost this luxury when no, it actually could be something that is good for us uh regularly, you know. I mean, there is a cost involved, so I understand that too. And it doesn't even have to have a massage be a massage, but like for me personally, I take a bath almost every night. And that's to me a form of my self-care. Like I'm going up to the bathtub now, you know, and having that quiet time and downtime. So it doesn't necessarily necessarily have to be something that costs money, but to the point, many, I think moms don't take that time like they really I want to say deserve. I try to avoid the word should, so I was like deserve.
SPEAKER_00And
Boundaries That Protect Your Energy
SPEAKER_00I want to give your audience a few perspective shifts on that, because I absolutely came from that place of people pleasing and placating to others. And there was a few perspective shifts that I was given that I still adopt to this day. The first one is if anyone is in an emergency where the only person that can solve this emergency for them is you, and it is that dire, they should not be calling you, they should be calling 911. So when we start saying no to people, when they ask something of us, we've actually given them a beautiful gift of learning how to be more resourceful on their own versus the easier route, which is us as mom. The other thing that I just want, and this is a side tangent, is a lot of women feel of value when we are needed. And that is also a limiting belief coming from that I am unworthy. So I feel of worth when people need me to solve a problem for them. So that's a little bit trapped in there. Or I don't feel like I'm a good enough mom. So when they come to me and I solve a problem, now I feel good enough because I solved that problem for them. So there's a behavior and a secondary gain to being on call for people and being a yes person. So I really want to acknowledge that there is no emergency so dire that I or you or anyone listening are the only people that could possibly solve it. And if it's that bad that needs to be done in that very moment, then they should be calling 911 and not me. And that really helped me stop the urgency of like breaking my day to serve a text, to answer a phone call immediately when I got it, right? Because rarely does it ever end up being something that huge of a deal. The other part of this conversation that really helped me was appreciating that I need to put together, and I'm using the word need on purpose, I need to have healthier boundaries for my energy. Where there are times where I am just off call, there are times where I'm just in the bath, there are times where I'm just gonna be doing something else. And every human, including our children, are fully responsible for their own lives. I have a nine and an 11-year-old child. And since they were, since they were six and four, and I learned this, where I can uphold my own boundaries to conserve my own energy. They're fully responsible for their own lives. And I appreciate that there's a codependence there because there are children at that age. Yet at six and four, I was still able to tell them when mom's laptop is open, you don't get to bother her because she's working and I'm not going to be helpful anyway. When my laptop is closed, you've got my full attention. And at six and four, they understood that. Now we also established in that boundary a consequence. And I would ask the girls, if you bother mom when my laptop is open, what is a reasonable consequence? Um, well, if I bother mom and the laptop is open, I'm gonna go up to my room and go on a 30-minute timeout. Cool. Sounds great. My six and four-year-olds could do it. So now let's fast forward to our teenagers and our adult children, including our spouses and our parents. They are more than capable of taking full responsibility for their own lives. That is not our job as moms, right? Our job, when it comes down to it, is to hold a space of unconditional love. That is all we are required to do and continue to respect the humans that are in our life. Does not mean we have to like them, does not mean we have to love them, does not mean that we are responsible for them. Our job is to respect them as they are and hold a space of unconditional love. When I heard that, it completely reframed my relationship with my kids and my relationship with my partner.
SPEAKER_01100% agree because I know that that's something that I feel like we've done very, I have to say, my husband and I, with our kids, helping them be independent at a very young age. And and I think it's such an important reminder for everyone listening to have those boundaries, whatever that looks like for you. Um, and I just it applies to so many different areas of our lives. So it's just such a great reminder, I think. So I really appreciate you touching touching up on that. I feel like this could be, we could do a part two. We could probably do 10.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Or maybe 10 episodes. I'm not even sure. Um, but I want to be conscientious of your time as well as our so as our listeners. How
Where To Find Dr Andrea
SPEAKER_01can people get in touch with you, Andrea, if they want to reach out and learn more or possibly work with you?
SPEAKER_00The fastest place is Instagram at the Maxim Movement. It's 2Ms, and then just DM me there. You can always visit my website, AndreaMaxim.com. Those are the two streams, and you've got me all day.
SPEAKER_01Perfect. And I will add all of that information in the show notes. And again, I just I feel like we've just kind of touched the iceberg here, but I love this because a big purpose for me in creating this podcast and calling it Words of Wellness is to be able to offer information and bring on guests like yourself who can help our listeners and we can support our listeners in every aspect of wellness, right? Not just the physical, the nutrition, but the emotional, the spiritual, the mental. And this definitely falls right in line. And like we said in the beginning, the mindset, the mental part is such a big, big part of our overall wellness and our health. So I so appreciate you sharing today and definitely want to do this
Two Next Steps To Start Today
SPEAKER_01again for sure.
SPEAKER_00Just to kind of leave your audience with a bit of a summary, because we touched on so many things that I want to end this with just here's what I would do next after listening to this episode. Is one, I would start really listening to the language that I'm using. Am I talking about what I don't want? Am I starting to talk about what I do want? What is it that I want instead? That's going to be a huge shift. The second thing is around boundaries. What is one simple boundary that you can create for your own self-care? Where if anything happens during that time, I trust, unless your house is on fire, it will it'll be there 30 minutes from now. And everyone will still be alive 30 minutes from now. Give yourself that one thing that is totally yours. What those two steps do on top of all the other things we talked about is it's putting you back into Solution Island, where now we are taking responsibility again. We are taking ownership of our life. And that's how we start getting results in all those aspects of the life pie, specifically around health and wellness for the context of the show. So if your listeners could just start there, that is doing the big work. And that is the work that still 90% of the population will not do, ongoing. So I'm just so honored that you put together a show, that you have a community to really share these tools with your ladies, because they are going to be the ones that are successful. So thank you so much for having me on.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. And thank you, Andrea, so much for sharing. And I want to just encourage our listeners to reach out to Andrea as you can hear. This is this is what she does, this is her specialty. So if you feel like you're struggling in any of the areas that we discussed today, reach out to her because as we hear, and I know sometimes if it's a foreign concept, if you're hearing it for the first time, it can be kind of a little bit hard to grasp that we have that control over our mind, but we know that we do. And I just want to encourage you all to reach out to Andrea. And I just thank you so much for this time. Really appreciate you being on. And we will definitely do this again. And to all of our listeners, take time for yourself and your wellness on this day. Start to implement some of the tips that Andrea gave us on a daily basis, and you will be amazed at how things will change for you in a positive direction. And with that being said, I hope you all have a beautiful, blessed rest of your week. We'll see you next time on Words of Wellness. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode. I hope you gained value and enjoyed our time together as much as I did. And if you know someone who could benefit from today's episode, I would love and appreciate it if you could share with a friend or rate and review Words of Wellness so that more can hear this message. I love and appreciate you all. Thank you for listening. And if you have any questions or topics you would like me to share in future episodes, please don't hesitate to reach out to me through my contact information that is shared in the show notes below. Again, thank you for tuning in to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelley Jeffries, and I encourage you to do something for you, for your wellness on this day. Until next time, I hope you all have a healthy, happy, and blessed weekend.