Words of Wellness with Shelly

Unstuck And On Purpose: How To Reclaim Joy, Gain Body Wisdom, And Live A Life of Love

• Shelly Jefferis • Season 3 • Episode 156

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Feeling stuck can look like busy calendars, tidy goals, and a quiet ache that whispers, life wants more from me. We sat down with Shauna, a women’s next chapter mentor and yoga instructor, to explore how real change happens when you stop living by “shoulds” and start listening to your body’s truth. Her story moves from a traumatic past to a grounded present, where compassion, clarity, and practice—not perfection—shape a life you actually want.

We cover the difference between gathering information and integrating it, and why repetition inside a safe container can rewire patterns that keep you small. Shauna walks us through the shift from mind-only problem-solving to embodied healing with tools like emotional freedom technique, somatic practices, and yoga. You’ll hear the “polar bear” lesson—how animals shake off shock—and how a daily sixty-second pause to breathe and feel can prevent emotions from stockpiling into stress or burnout.

We also break down a practical approach to mindset that honors both courage and fear. Envision your best-case future, notice the body’s pushback, feel it fully, and return to the vision. That toggling trains your nervous system to hold more possibility without bypassing what’s real. Along the way, we touch on Gene Keys for self-knowledge, the trap of the “shoulds,” and why focusing on what you do want changes what you attract. The throughline is simple: you don’t heal by hustling harder; you heal by feeling and integrating what you learn, one honest choice at a time.

If you’re ready to move from stuck to sovereign—more joy, more energy, more alignment—this conversation offers practical steps and steady encouragement. Listen now, subscribe for more thoughtful wellness stories, and leave a review to help others find the show. What’s one brave step you’ll take toward your next chapter today?

CONNECT WITH SHAUNA:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/shauna_hawkes

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ShaunaHawkes


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CONNECT WITH SHELLY:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithshellyj https://www.instagram.com/momswhoflourish
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ShellyJefferis

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Thank you for listening to the Words of Wellness podcast with Shelly Jefferis. I am honored and so grateful to have you here and it would mean the world to me if you could take a minute to follow, leave a 5-star review and share the podcast with anyone you love and anyone you feel could benefit from the message.

Thank you and God Bless! And remember to do something for yourself, for your wellness on this day!
In Health,

Shelly

SPEAKER_00:

I just speak to exactly what it is, and there aren't excuses anymore. It's not like, oh, I'm so sorry you've had that. It's like I've also had that, but it's not an excuse not to live a life you love. So it's it's using all these things and all these situations and these circumstances in our lives to actually create a power within us, and not a power that's egotistical, but a power that is like, wow, I can stand in who I fully am now that I remember who I am when I'm not all those things, the trauma and the drama and the stories.

SPEAKER_01:

Do you get confused by all of the information that barges us every day on ways to improve our overall health and our overall wellness? Do you often feel stuck, unmotivated, or struggle to reach your wellness goals? Do you have questions as to what exercises you should be doing, what foods you should or shouldn't be eating, how to improve your overall emotional and mental well-being? Hello everyone, I am so excited to welcome you to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries, and I will be your host. My goal is to answer these questions and so much more. To share tips, education, and inspiration around all of the components of wellness through solo and guest episodes. With 35 plus years as a health and wellness professional, a retired college professor, a speaker, and a multi-passionate entrepreneur, I certainly have lots to share. However, my biggest goal and inspiration in doing this podcast is to share the wellness stories of others with you, to bring in guests who can share their journeys so that we can all learn together while making an impact on the health, the wellness, and lives of all of you, our listeners. The ultimate hope is that you leave today with even just one nugget that can enhance the quality of your life, and that you will, we all will, now and into the future, live our best quality of lives full of energy, happiness, and joy. Now let's dive into our message for today. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly, and I will be your host. And my guest today is a women's next chapter mentor. She helps women and moms, I would imagine, step into their next chapter of life with clarity. She's a yoga instructor, she's a mom of two. Welcome, Shauna, to Words of Wellness. I'm so excited to have you. Thanks, Shelly.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm excited to be here.

SPEAKER_01:

And you are in Australia, which is so crazy. So we we're in Southern California. I am, and it's a little bit after one o'clock. And it's what time for you now? It's in the morning, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, 8 a.m. the next, so 8 a.m. the next day. Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't think I'll ever get used to time differences. We even have, I have one one son who's in Chicago and one's in Michigan. So our son in Chicago is two hours, our son in Michigan is three. And I'm like, ah, so just keeping track of them is like I I lose track. So um, so thank you for taking the time for for this today and hopping on. I really appreciate it. So you are working with moms or women. And what does that look like? So when we talk about next chapter, is it is it just different, obviously a different phase in their life, but are we looking at women who are maybe like in their 40s, their 50s, or what what is that? What do you consider next chapter?

SPEAKER_00:

Look, it can be any it can be at any age for any woman. I would say that I'm probably more drawn towards the women between the ages of uh 40 and 60. That seems to be my sort of uh, you know, uh ideal client per se. And and it's because she's she's already done a little bit with her life, you know. Yes, there are mothers who have had kids and they've probably dedicated a lot of their life to to being that mother, but some of them have just had really big careers and they don't feel called into that career anymore. Or the the the most common thing is that women come to me because they're stuck, they don't know why they're stuck. So they go, I have this feeling like life wants more of me, and I feel called to more of life, and I don't know what to do. I don't know what step to take, I don't know how to move in that direction. So for me, it's it's using my intuition and getting really crystal clear with them about what's holding them back and also what is it that they're seeking in their life? What where is it that they want to go? Because I I my desire is for women to live their best life that's full of joy and abundance and and wealth and fun and and you know, compassion and love. And so if we're gonna move into that, we've got to uh clear out all the bullshit that sits underneath that and whatever is holding them back from stepping into that.

SPEAKER_01:

I can so relate to that because it's part of the reason I have been creating a wellness community for moms with the same intent. And also part of the reason I started the podcast, like you're saying, is to to really help moms and help others to live that life of joy and energy and to you know live a life of longevity, but not so much that it's we're living a long lifespan, but what are we what are we doing while we're here and how are we feeling while we're here? And that's so, so key. So I love that. Is this something that you personally experienced a big transition? Like, is that what led you to doing this kind of work?

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. I I feel like I've had many transitions in my life. I I come from a background that was um, you know, people don't believe me when I tell them where I've come from. Um, so a very traumatic background where pretty much all the odds were against me, and I was, you know, I I ended up, you know, I really thought if you look at my background, you would have thought that I I would be pregnant by 13 and on and and on drugs, really, because there that was sort of not the route, but the the level of trauma kind of led me into some real dark places, and and I was fortunate to have important people in my life and to have support that kind of kept me kept me out of trouble. And then I went on that healing path very early on in my journey. I was always quite um drawn to understanding people because I think I wanted to know why. Why is this happened to me? What what what why do people do these kind of things? And so coming from that, you know, there was a lot of density and a lot of, I would call it darkness in my life for many years. And and and it was about it was about returning to the light and remembering who I was and that my what has happened to me in my life is not what defines me, and it's also not what determines my future. But that's easy to say now that I'm on the other side, and and so it um when I work with you know women specifically, uh it's like I I get it because I've probably been there, I've probably experienced something very similar to what they're experiencing, and and in that I feel that there's a power in that because it I just speak to exactly what it is, and there aren't excuses anymore. It's not like, oh, I'm so sorry you've had that. It's like I've also had that, but it's not an excuse not to live a life you love. So it's it's using all these things and all these situations and these circumstances in our lives to actually create a power within us, and not a power that's egotistical, but a power that is like, wow, I can stand in who I fully am now that I remember who I am, when I'm not all those things, the trauma and the drama and the stories.

SPEAKER_01:

I think that is so key. I I love hearing you refer to the fact that you you've experienced it and you're not minimizing it, but you're not using it as an excuse to move forward in your life. And you know, everybody has their story, everybody has something that they've gone through, some kind of trauma, most everyone. And it's it's not that it's easy to move through it, but it's so necessary. And the longer you kind of, I don't want to say wallow in it, but the longer that you let it be that excuse, the less you're living your life, right? Which is what you're looking towards doing is helping others live that life of fulfillment. And it's it's so critical. Like it makes me sad when people aren't doing that, you know, it's like they're missing out on so so much.

SPEAKER_00:

I totally agree.

SPEAKER_01:

And you how did you come out of what you were going through? And I and I guess going back to it too, you know, we know that when you you you're best able to serve the person you once were. So going through the trauma that you did, what was it do you think that helped you come out of it?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So many things. I I there wasn't one, there wasn't one secret modality or one known modality that it was like that is the one. It was an evolution of many modalities. So um I studied social work in college and got a degree in social work, and and as a result of of studying that, you you had to see a psychologist during that time. So, so I went in, you know, my freshman year, and then it ended up being four years of counseling. And I went, okay, there's some stuff in here. And a lot of what had happened in my life, I had really blocked out because there was so much, and and if I would have really taken that on, it would have prevented me from being able to live a functioning life. So, in many ways, I lived my life through my head and through my mind, and I and I would use my quote unquote intelligence or or the the intelligence of the mind, and I would disregard my body. And so there was kind of a real disconnect where it's like you could talk to me, but I wasn't really feeling much in my in my life. And then as I as I progressed, I I came across um emotional freedom technique, and that was very powerful for me to get into my body and unlocked some of the trauma that had been stored there. And I continued with the somatics. I found yoga, and I was like, whoa, something's happening. I don't know what's happening, I can't explain it. The mind doesn't understand it, but something's happening in my body, and then it just went on to doing more somatic work and doing more kinesthetic work, going into my body and feeling things, not worrying about why or how or how trying even I've stopped trying to understand things anymore. I just feel them and move the energy, and and that's very different from my experience of when I when I was when I was growing up. So for me, it's taking all of those tools because I also know what it's like to only live in the mind. And many many women do that. They they're driven by what the they should do or what they think is the right thing to do, but they don't actually feel in alignment with that. And I get that because that was me for so many years, and but I really believe it's about going into the body, and it's about allowing the body to release the things that are stored, so there's not one modality that changed my life, there's many, and I'm so grateful to each and everyone, and you know, like even NLP and just the way that the the mind is programming, all those skills. I guess I use because they're things that were helpful to me at some point along the journey. And I feel like we are we meet people where they're at, and so I meet people where they're at, and I was probably there at one point, and I'm probably only one step ahead of them, but that's okay. I can still offer what I have, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Right, yeah, yeah. I I I need to connect you. One of my friends, uh, she talks about all of the shoulds, and she actually has a book that she came out, it just came out a month or two ago. Um, but you you two would be a great connection, I think, because she's she talks about that a lot.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, beautiful.

SPEAKER_01:

So yeah, and it's it's so easy. I catch myself now, like a few years ago, I started becoming more in tune with what was coming out of my mouth as far as saying, I'll try to do whenever I say I'll try, I'm like, that means I I'm not gonna probably do it, you know. And then the should I try, I really try. I avoid saying the word should.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So it's it's um, you know, you we learn it and then it's kind of that that practice, right? It's an ongoing practice, just like anything when it comes to our overall health or wellness and anything in life. It's it's it's an ongoing, it's an ongoing journey. And we continue to learn all the way through it. And I think this is such an important part of wellness. I had another guest on who also talked about just the emotions from from all of our years and and them getting stored, and how do we kind of you know bring them to the surface and express them and kind of get them out of our system as needed. And I find that so fascinating because I feel like so many of us, probably every single person has something that they have stored. And it's not obviously on purpose, it's just as as we're being brought up, we're not always taught how to express everything. And it's probably almost, I would think, impossible to get everything out. Like even like as adults, right? Because we're in this schedule on this routine, and sometimes things pop up and we're we don't always deal with them right then and there. And I don't know, I just find it fascinating how much the mind affects the body, and even vice versa. You know, that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, it's it's interesting hearing you say that because the my my first response to that is why don't we just feel things as they come up? Why why do we keep going about the day? When things are rising to the surface, it's because they want to be seen, witnessed, and healed. But if if we're stuck in the I must do this or I've got to carry on versus just actually pausing, and it could even be just for a minute, taking a few deep breaths and allowing the body to process it, then it then then we can do it all day, every day. And it doesn't become a big deal. It's not like a thing that we have to do. We don't have to pull ourselves aside, but we can just, you know, breathe and let it come to the surface. Um, you when I was studying, I remember once watching this video, and they um they were studying polar bears in the Arctic, and they took a tranquilizer gun and they shot the polar bear. And the polar bear was, you know, he was gonna wake up, but they were doing some tests, and the sh the polar bear was shaking, you know, it's the trauma of being hit and being surprised. So it's it's shaking and doing all this stuff, and then it and then it lays down, okay? And then they go in and they do all the stuff that they're gonna do, this the studies and the tests. And then when the tranquilizer wears off, what does the polar bearer do? It mimics the same activity, so it comes out of it and then it shakes itself and it does the exact same thing that the trauma created, and then it just gets up and walks off like nothing's happened. So the the the animal kingdom knows how to do that, they shake off the the initial trauma straight away. But us as humans, we go, well, why did that happen? How do I get rid of this feeling? What's wrong? Right? Instead of just going, no, I'll just use my body and and and and move it through me, and then boom, it's gone, and now I can carry on with life. But see, I don't feel like we've been taught to do that. We we as humans haven't been taught that that is a healthy way to live life, you know, that that's that's natural, that's normal. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And I think that's the perfect way to put it. We haven't been taught for whatever reason, you know, and I I feel like I was talking to someone yesterday about this, and I will always say, you know, with age comes wisdom. It's like we we kind of learn a lot of this, even though we weren't taught, but we kind of learn as we go along. And I was sharing, I think yesterday about uh taking time at becoming an empty nester and then dropping my children off to college and and making a point and being very intentional with taking the time to go through the emotions and whatever it looks like, you know, give myself a day to just do whatever I want to do, just to be if I need to cry or what have you, and that has been very, very beneficial. And and I think that not enough of us take the time to do that. And it's also like you're saying, kind of like why aren't we experiencing it and getting it out and then moving on? And I you know, I I learned many years ago that when you do have something that is coming up emotionally, that if you don't get it out, it's gonna somewhere down the road surprise you and come out when you least expect it, right? So you just can't really emphasize that enough. And and then there are the people that just aren't they don't necessarily recognize they because they've become so numb for whatever reason, they they don't recognize those emotions. So it's just so interesting to to you know to to talk to you about this and to just also think about all the different personalities and and people in the world and how they are dealing with a lot of these instances. And I feel like it all comes back to kind of how we first started and what you said about helping people experience joy and and a quality of life, and you know, it's so much more than the physical part, it's that emotional, the mental, all of that combined. And it's so important. I just that I get excited, and that's why I a big reason I started the podcast is to really touch upon all the components of wellness because they're all they're all connected, as you know, all connected.

SPEAKER_00:

I also work a lot with the gene keys, which is a system that is tells us a lot about um, you know, what are the shadows that you're working with that you don't even know that you're working with, and what are your gifts and and and how do you do that? How how how do you experience life? What is the fullest expression of you? Because, you know, you and I, Shelly, could have the same gene keys, but you could express it as a dancer, and I could express it as a fixer, or you know, so so it's kind of it's knowing these this level of depth about yourself and contemplating that and having compassion for yourself. Um, and so yeah, that's that's sort of what it looks like. And then I continue to work with some people, you know, a bit longer. We might meet um once a month, and that's about integrating everything that they've learned in the three months and just staying in the vibration because I truly believe that what changes people's lives is to stay in a higher vibration. And three months, if you don't keep doing the repetition, you just you've learned something else and you haven't integrated it. But integration changes lives, not information. And so for me, I'm always stressing that through the work like here we are, we're working together. This is a three month container, so that you can learn how to live a different vibration, so that you can attract. To the things that you're really seeking, you know? If you want more joy, you you get to be the joy. If you want more peace, you get to be the peace. So whatever stands in the way of that is the clearing out. But that's the way it, that's the way it starts, is that three-month container.

SPEAKER_01:

That's so that's so great. And you're so right. I mean, we can learn everything. I mean, I'm sure you've done this as well, where you're in a mastermind or you're in a program and you can you can learn all the information you want, but if you're not applying it or practicing it or implementing it, it kind of just, I don't know, it just kind of stays, right? It just kind of stays there in the brain or in your notes or what have you. And and I think that's just so key and so important. And I'm sure you're making such a difference in in the lives of of women. How can people find you, Shauna?

SPEAKER_00:

Um, my website's the easiest way. So it's um www.shaunahawks.com. Really simple. And then they can kind of do some exploring, and there's a way to contact me on the page. Um, I also have like an archetypes quiz, which can be quite fun to find out what kind of change archetype are you? How do you deal with change in your life? So um, but yeah, that's the easiest way.

SPEAKER_01:

That's so interesting. Well, I will definitely be putting all of your information in the in the show night show notes. And so going back to what you're saying about change, that that's another really interesting of people not wanting change, right? Like, and it's inevitable. So yeah, I'm sure you're helping. That's another area you probably help women with is just understanding that this is this is okay and this is happening and something new. And if we're uncomfortable, it's good. Changes can be good and it can mean growth. But I think it's a great kind of like calming practice to go, okay, I might feel a little uncomfortable or nervous, go through these experiences and and be real about them and and and make help people understand that, you know, nobody's perfect, right? Nobody's perfect.

SPEAKER_00:

That's it. And you know, I would only concentrate on all the things that I want to have happen because I truly believe that opens up the field to be in the energy of what I don't want. And but what would happen is if I go to what I do want, which is to be successful speaking on a stage, and I notice that I start to envision it or I start to think about it, and something in my body goes, Oh, you're not worthy of that. There's no way you could do that. Then I go in and I feel that. I feel the energy of it, right? And I allow myself to feel the nervousness or to feel the fear or the of rejection or whatever. And then I start going towards, well, what can I believe about it? Well, I can believe that I can just get on stage and take some deep breaths, and I can believe that, and I start to envision that. And it's interesting because I think it's easy to look at what is the worst thing can that can happen, but what is the best thing that could happen? How can we continually be successful? And and why do we have to keep going back and looking at that? It doesn't mean that we avoid how we're feeling, but let's start focusing on what we do want and how we are worthy of that and how we will be successful on stage, you know. Um, so it's just you just brought that up, and it just I felt like mentioning that because it feels like I used to to to to always go there, and now I'm like, we're just not gonna go there, we're just not gonna bring that in because that's not where I'm headed, that's not what I'm after, but I'm not ignoring how I feel about it, you know, because there's of course it's scary, so it's like still feeling the fear, but not going into the visualization of what if I trip on stage and what do you know what I make sense?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, it makes so much sense, and I love that because I I I always will say that too is you know, what you focus on, you find. So totally in uh in alignment with that. Um, I totally understand what you're saying. Like you want to visualize and focus on what you want to see happen. And and I yeah, I totally agree. I I think that's so so key. This has been this has been great, Sean. I I I thank you so much for again for taking the time to hop on with me. And though we're like completely, completely opposite time zones. Yeah. Is it snowing there? Girl, it's gonna be 80 degrees. Oh, of course, Southern California. Where are you? No, I I like I'm like part of me is like, oh, I wish it was cold, but then part of me is like, oh my gosh, it's beautiful out. You know, I can't complaining, right? But I'm like, okay, it's December and it's gonna be 80 degrees.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, okay. I can't, I it's it's hot here, it's summer here. So it's oh it is okay. Yes, yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, other parts of the country, there's a lot of snow, but but not not where I am right now. Yeah, love that.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, thanks for having me, Shelly. I really enjoyed the conversation.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I did too, and absolutely. And you know, I would love to have you leave with our listeners any last words of inspiration, words of wellness that you would like to like to share.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, if you're if you're feeling challenged by life, find or or by a pattern or by something where you feel stuck in your life. Find someone who is living a life that you want and start asking them questions. Ask them to mentor you, ask them who coach them. Find the people that that live the life that you want to live and start asking questions because don't take advice from people that don't have a life that you don't want. Like people are so happy to give advice, but if they don't live, if they don't walk the talk, if they don't have a life that you're after, then it's probably not worth listening to them. And and go to those people who are going to really help you create a life that you're gonna love that can help you move through the things that are challenging and have compassion for yourself, you know, have have lots of compassion. We heal through um through compassion and we heal through love. We do not heal by beating ourselves up, we never heal that way. So be kind to yourself in the process.

SPEAKER_01:

Amen. That is beautiful and so perfect. Yeah, we always have to remind ourselves about that, don't we? Give ourselves a lot of grace and love, and and uh that needs to be a daily reminder. So thank you for that. Thank you for that. And to all of our listeners, thank you so much for tuning in and reach out to Shauna. I will put her contact information in the show notes. And as always, take time for yourself and your wellness. And until next time, have a beautiful, blessed rest of your week, everyone. We'll see you next time on Words of Wellness. Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. I hope you gained value and enjoyed our time together as much as I did. And if you know someone who could benefit from today's episode, I would love and appreciate it if you could share with a friend or rate and review Words of Wellness so that more can hear this message. I love and appreciate you all. Thank you for listening. And if you have any questions or topics you would like me to share in future episodes, please don't hesitate to reach out to me through my contact information that is shared in the show notes below. Again, thank you for tuning in to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelley Jeffries, and I encourage you to do something for you, for your wellness on this day. Until next time, I hope you all have a healthy, happy, and blessed week.