Words of Wellness with Shelly
Do you get confused by all of the information that is available regarding ways to improve your health and wellness? Do you often become frustrated or overwhelmed with decisions on how to be your healthiest? We all know and understand how important our health and wellness is to the vitality of our lives, however navigating the wealth of health and wellness information available can often feel overwhelming. Understanding the significance of our well-being in leading fulfilling lives is crucial, yet determining what steps to take that are essential for our health can often be confusing.
Welcome everyone to "Words of Wellness"! In this podcast, hosted by Shelly Jefferis, M.A., a seasoned health and wellness professional with over 35 years in the industry, all of your questions will be answered and clarity will be provided through personal stories, education, tips and inspiration. Throughout her profession, Shelly has always had the heart and desire to help others feel their best and live their best lives through her supportive and compassionate approach. Through engaging solo and guest episodes, several topics will be addressed, questions will be answered and clarity will be provided in an effort to lead you to a healthier, more energetic life. With a master’s degree in kinesiology, extensive experience as an educator, speaker, coach, and entrepreneur, Shelly brings a wealth of knowledge and a genuine passion for empowering others to feel their best. By featuring industry experts and relatable individuals, the podcast promises personal stories, practical advice, and inspiration. She is excited to come to you weekly sharing all she has experienced, learned and discovered through the years. Whether you're seeking to elevate your well-being, gain practical insights for personal health, or simply be inspired to live a high quality vibrant life, this is the podcast is for YOU! Be sure to tune in weekly and join us along our "Words of Wellness" journey and embark on a path toward a healthier and more fulfilling quality of life full of happiness, energy and joy!
Words of Wellness with Shelly
Shedding the "Shoulds": How to Trust Your Inner Voice and Decision-Making Power With Jessica Frew
What if the greatest obstacle to your wellness isn't your diet, exercise routine, or stress management techniques, but rather the "shoulds" you've internalized throughout your life? In this illuminating conversation with author and coach Jessica Frew, we explore how reclaiming your decision-making power might be the most transformative wellness practice of all.
Jessica reveals a profound truth that many of us have never considered: from childhood, we're systematically taught not to trust ourselves. Those well-meaning reassurances of "it doesn't hurt that bad" or "you shouldn't feel that way" create a lifelong pattern of disconnection from our authentic feelings and desires. By adulthood, this conditioning runs so deep that many women reach a breaking point—exhausted from people-pleasing and following paths that never truly resonated with their souls.
Through her work and newly released book "Shove Your Shoulds," Jessica offers a framework for recognizing and releasing these internalized expectations. She explains how the simple word "should" signals judgment and conditioning, while offering practical techniques for making decisions that honor your authentic self. Her approach is particularly powerful for women navigating major life transitions—whether it's empty nesting, career changes, divorce, or simply the midlife realization that you've been living someone else's version of your life.
What makes Jessica's perspective so unique is how she connects decision-making to holistic wellness. When we make choices aligned with our true selves, we regulate our nervous systems, reduce anxiety, and build deeper connections with others. This isn't just about making better decisions—it's about reclaiming your relationship with yourself.
The conversation takes fascinating turns through identity shifts, coming out (not just in terms of sexuality, but in all the ways we hide our authentic selves), and how embracing who you truly are gives others permission to do the same. Jessica's warm, accessible approach makes these profound topics feel approachable, offering practical wisdom without judgment or pretense.
Ready to shed the "shoulds" that no longer serve you? This episode offers both the permission and the practical tools to begin that journey—one authentic decision at a time.
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Thank you for listening to the Words of Wellness podcast with Shelly Jefferis. I am honored and so grateful to have you here and it would mean the world to me if you could take a minute to follow, leave a 5-star review and share the podcast with anyone you love and anyone you feel could benefit from the message.
Thank you and God Bless! And remember to do something for yourself, for your wellness on this day!
In Health,
Shelly
It is all about owning the power of our decision-making. But in order to own that power, in order to step into decision-making with clarity and purpose and understanding, we have to release the shoulds that we are carrying of what our life should look like, how we should feel, how we should dress, how we should act.
Speaker 2:Do you get confused by all of the information that bombards us every day on ways to improve our overall health and our overall wellness? Do you often feel stuck, unmotivated or struggle to reach your wellness goals? Do you have questions as to what exercises you should be doing, what foods you should or should not be eating, how to improve your overall emotional and mental well-being? Hello everyone, I am so excited to welcome you to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I will be your host. My goal is to answer these questions and so much more to share tips, education and inspiration around all of the components of wellness through solo and guest episodes. With 35 plus years as a health and wellness professional, a retired college professor, a speaker and a multi-passionate entrepreneur, I certainly have lots to share. However, my biggest goal and inspiration in doing this podcast is to share the wellness stories of others with you, to bring in guests who can share their journeys so that we can all learn together while making an impact on the health, the wellness and lives of all of you, our listeners. The ultimate hope is that you leave today with even just one nugget that can enhance the quality of your life, and that you will. We all will, now and into the future, live our best quality of lives, full of energy, happiness and joy. Now let's dive into our message for today.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone, and welcome back to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly and I am very excited to introduce my guest today. She not only is an author, speaker and a coach, but she helps ambitious women navigate hard transitions by owning their own decision-making power. And I met this beautiful woman a couple years ago and she is very powerful in her own right and she's amazing and there's a lot to share with us today and I'm super excited for this conversation. So welcome, jessica. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here. Yes, this is really something you know. It's so cool how we met for the first time a couple years ago and we reconnected at Powerhouse Women, and here we are.
Speaker 1:Here we are. Life is amazing. I love the connections that get intertwined and they get to, you know, come up when they come up. It's just beautiful. It really really is.
Speaker 2:It really is. And when I saw you a couple weekends ago, I was like, oh my gosh, this is so great, so great. I know we have a lot to talk about and I want to just jump right in, jump right in, and because you do so much for so many women and really I feel like what first comes to my mind is giving women the permission to have a voice, to make those decisions they need to make for themselves. And it's one of those things where I know, I just know that you are amazing at what you do. I mean, there's no, you know, there's no question, even though we haven't, we've been together and been around each other for just a handful of times. But, girl, you're powerful. So so, share a little bit about, about what you are doing and what you have accomplished very recently.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes. So I found at a very young age, shelly, this is. My superpower is being giving women permission, and not just women, but people who come into my life. There's something that I'm going to say God put in me to be able to show people who they are and help them feel safe in owning that, because I firmly believe that being who we are is who God created us to be.
Speaker 1:That, whatever you believe source, universe, god, whatever that when we connect deeply to who we are, that is when we are stepping into the purpose we are given here on earth, and I have a unique ability to help women feel that very quickly, to help them see who they are, to give them that permission, to have that voice, because I think so many of us are looking for that permission, and while it makes me sad that we feel like we need permission, I also am grateful that I have this space to be able to do that, to give people that and I'm a coach, I'm grateful that I have this space to be able to do that, to give people that and I'm a coach, I'm a speaker and, most recently, as you mentioned, I'm an author and I love that.
Speaker 1:I have created a book that can give you, that so many people can access, that it's an easy entry point financially and also, you know, like sometimes it's scary to enter a coaching program or to step into a room, even if it's a virtual room, to be able to kind of start embracing our voice and what we feel inside of us. And so I'm really excited to put that out into the world and to make that an accessible starting point for so many who I think are craving that right now. And I say are so many who I think are craving that right now? And I say I think I know so many of us are craving that right now.
Speaker 2:I, I completely agree with you and it's really interesting because I think of you. Know, I just have the I don't know the comparison point from where you and I are at, and I feel like even with the work that we do, there are moments right where we might go. Oh, maybe we don't feel as bold as we could in what we're sharing, and I don't know. I know I was shy as a young girl, but obviously I'm not shy any longer. So sometimes I go where does that come from? Where we aren't more bold?
Speaker 2:And I think I'm just guessing, and you know better than I do it's that probably fear of just not only the unknown, but what are people going to say, what are people going to think. And I think that later on in life I feel like for me at least, I know that becomes so less and less important. With age comes wisdom and that kind of stuff doesn't matter, but when we're younger it does, and I don't quite, I don't quite understand why, and I don't know if it's how we're raised or whatever. I mean we could do a whole other episode, I'm sure, but you encounter that often, I'm sure.
Speaker 1:Yes, and speaking to this point, it is deeply conditioned in us from a very young age to seek the outside validation. I say the first person we are taught not to trust is ourselves. And it's not done intentionally. It's done by well-meaning adults who are trying to protect us from harm and they're trying to help us be included and helping us to feel like we are part of the group. They want us to be accepted, they want us to be loved, they would want us to get through pain faster. But what ultimately happens is it disconnects us from ourselves. So at a young age we are told things like it doesn't hurt that bad, it's not that big of a like it doesn't hurt that bad, it's not that big of a deal. You shouldn't feel that way, you shouldn't dress that way, you shouldn't want that. And again, it's all well-intentioned most of the time, like this isn't coming from a manipulative place. Most of the time there are exceptions to that. I completely understand, but so many of us it's just done innocently. And so, as a young child, when we I mean you think about it we fall and get hurt and they're like oh, it's not that bad, it doesn't hurt that bad. That sends a signal to us that what we are feeling is not real, it's not correct. We can't trust it. Oh, if my parents telling me it doesn't hurt that bad, but physically it hurts, then I can't trust that. And emotionally, oh, it's not that big of a deal, you know, you'll meet, I think about, like when we're going through dating and stuff. You'll meet somebody better. He wasn't that great, she wasn't that great, like whatever. Then we're like oh, this I guess you know, emotionally I'm not correct either Like this isn't that big of a deal. And so we start suppressing who we are. And then we get to teenage years and that amplifies of society and other teenagers telling us what it needs to look like wear these shoes, play that instrument, do this sport. It's throughout every demographic, it's not just the jocks or just whatever, it's everybody.
Speaker 1:And then we hit adulthood and now especially, we have social media and Pinterest and all these things that are telling us how our life should look and how we should be doing it. And so it's created this deep disconnect from our inner knowing. And at some point you're right, we hit an age where we are like I am done, I am tired, I am tired, I am exhausted, I am bitter and angry, like I feel so disconnected from myself, from my partner, from my kids, from whatever it is in life that is important to me and I'm done. And so now we have to go back and rebuild this connection to ourselves, rebuild the connection and safety that we need to feel safe, to feel our feelings, to feel safe to make the decision, to feel safe to act on the things that we know are in our heart. And sometimes, oftentimes, that's really hard and scary because we believe that makes us a bad person and it's not what we should want.
Speaker 1:And it's not what we should want and it's not what we should do, when in reality, that is what we were intended to do all along is to trust that inner knowing, and I think it comes with age, because we realize there's less time ahead of us or there's like a limited time.
Speaker 1:That becomes a more real thing the older we get, and I just hope to instill that into women, especially at a younger and younger age of like you know what?
Speaker 1:No, you get to have a voice, you get to be deeply connected to who you are. You get to do the thing that feels right with you, without being worried about people pleasing and what somebody is going to think and all those things, because ultimately that's what we all want. We all want to be ourselves, without worrying about what other people are going to think about us. And when we do that for ourselves and we do that work for ourselves, we then gift that to the people in our lives because they see us being ourselves and they're like I want, I want that, I want to be myself. I don't necessarily want to look like her, like I think. People see me and I have a shaved head sometimes and I wear clothes that are bright and fun, that bring me joy and all of these things. And I think sometimes people think I'm telling them to be like me and I'm like I don't want you to be like me, I want you to be you.
Speaker 2:I want you to embrace what feels good for you, and people feel that and then they're like okay, let's go Like I'm going to make those bold decisions, I'm going to be boldly myself and embrace that. I love that so much and it's so true, like everybody is individual and I think that again, going back to with age comes again having more of the confidence to to stand up and to share. And it's interesting when you're talking and I was thinking, oh gosh, I'm so proud of my daughter because she is at a point in her life where I'll listen to her talk and she's really she's very firm with, she knows what she wants and she stands up for it and I love that. And I know she went through a phase, like we all do in like high school and as teens, where it was a little bit more of that people pleasing mode with friends and such, and we all go through it. And it's like you say, if we can catch these young girls at earlier ages and help to instill that in them to feel more confident with their voice and their decisions that they're making, that's huge and it's just, you know, I don't know where again it all comes from but, like you're saying, we grow up and our parents are making these comments, but it's all well intended. It just can have that effect on us, where we suppress some of those feelings and those things we want to share, and that makes so much sense.
Speaker 2:You are working, or mostly work, with women. What age group? What's the youngest you've worked with so far?
Speaker 1:I mean, I've had women who have come in that are like in their twenties but it's usually women that are over 40 and they are like I have hit this place and I think it's like perimetopause menopause are starting to hit and our hormones are changing and we like they say, like perimetopausal women, like you don't want to mess with them, like there is some truth there where we are just like we're done living into this deep conditioning and we want to move forward.
Speaker 1:But I see, like you're saying, shelley, I see it in my daughters of because I am a safe place, of owning who I am and what it is I want. They are feeling this and they're in their teen years and I'm like the more we can embrace that, the better. Like that is how we change the world, that is how we change our communities, and when I say change, I I'm thinking of like this is how we welcome more love into the world, because ultimately, I think that's what we're all craving is love and safety. And so, yeah, typically I'm working with women who are 40 plus and ideally I'm just hoping and praying that that trickles down to all of the younger generations, as they find us and see us and like watch us doing this. We get to have that impact on the world.
Speaker 2:I love it and your, your, your daughters are so blessed to have you. Um, and I, just as you're talking, I I foresee at some point in the future for you speaking at, at, maybe high schools or something of that nature, where you can have that impact on the younger, the young, young women you know that are coming through, because it is huge. I know there's a program that we have in our community I uh, it's called dream, it be it where they they have some young gals that they kind of take through this series of of classes and it's just, it's exactly that, it's just instilling that confidence in them and and you have such a way about you that you're so approachable and and kind and fun, like you say, that I just see you doing that. I think that would be such an amazing, an amazing opportunity. Yeah, really great. Okay. So, backing up for a second, I want to go into your book. What is the title of your book?
Speaker 1:and purpose and understanding. We have to release the shoulds that we are carrying of what our life should look like, how we should feel, how we should dress, how we should act. We want to understand what we need to release and let go of and what is ours to keep and carry, what does actually feel in alignment and feels good. And I say bold as the way of identifying that and feels good, and I say bold as the way of identifying that like how do we embrace those things in a way that feels really good for us and moves us forward? So we identify those shoulds and the book walks you through the decision making process, along with that of how we embrace that and how we can move forward.
Speaker 2:I love that so much. I heard my husband the other day say something should or was it myself? I've learned to not say that a few years ago and I catch myself and I start to say it. I go no. Then I rephrase it yeah, it's such an easy one that we got into the trap of saying right.
Speaker 1:It is a quick identifier of where we are placing judgment on ourselves and on other people of like, oh, I should feel this way, I should do this workout, I should eat this food, I should again wear this, I should feel I should be grateful. And so when we are seeing that and identifying it, it's an easy way to then, like you're saying, like, let me actually rethink this. Is this actually what I want? Is this the thing that feels good? Or I always say just switch it to a could. I could do that, I could embrace this, I could feel that way. What does it mean about me? If I don't, you don't have to get into it, but it's an easy way to identify judgment in our lives.
Speaker 2:It really is. It really is, and I think it's so key. There's just something that you could change so slightly can make such a difference. And how you speak, how you just speak out, it's really. It's fascinating actually, I think.
Speaker 1:It is, and I know people who are like well, I'm a really good decision maker, I make decisions really fast. I'm like that is amazing. And also I want you to think about it, like, are you making this decision because it's what you should make? Because you, because subconsciously it's based on what everybody else thinks you should do, of how your life should be lived, of how religion, society, culture, friends, family have told you your life should look, and so you know how to make decisions quickly based off of that information. Or are you making decisions quickly because you know who you are and what it is you want and what resonates for you, and so I think, understanding that of, okay, I can make decisions quickly, but I'm not actually making them for me, I'm making them for everybody else. And how do I release this idea of what I should do and the judgment that is there, that is behind that word?
Speaker 2:Another part. I'm thinking this as you're saying this and going back to when you talked about how you feel like you've been led to do this work by God, and I have that same belief, and it makes me think about how we get so caught up in the noise and we don't take that time to really listen to what is really in alignment with our values and then also what is our intuition, and I think I feel God is speaking to our hearts. Take time to listen to that and for whoever, for whoever you know, for our listeners, whatever your belief might be this, I believe, applies to anyone, and everyone is taking that time to have some silence and quiet time to really think and get into feeling what feels right and what feels in alignment, because this is something I think we don't do enough of.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. I think that so often we feel like our values and all of those things are our own, that we have created those of ourselves and really so much of it is just what's put on us of you need to value this and this and this, and so we lean into that and it's easy to make those decisions based off of those values. I think about my ex-husband. He came to me, I don't know, probably in the first year after we were married. We stayed good friends after we got divorced. He's gay, we've whatever. There's a whole story there, but we are still friends and he came to me and he's like you know, one of the hardest things for me in leaving religion because our religion wasn't accepting of him being gay is that now I don't know how to make decisions for myself, and I thought this is so interesting because ideally, within religion, we are still making decisions for ourself, even within, you know, our families and all these things like religion is just one example of how we might be doing that. Families and all these things like religion is just one example of how we might be doing that. He's like I don't know what is right and wrong anymore. I don't know what is good and bad. I don't know all of these things because I was told for so long that who I was was wrong. And now, stepping away from this, how do I now understand what is best for me? And I don't think of it anymore as right or wrong, or good or bad or any of those things. That's why I don't use the word your next right decision.
Speaker 1:I help women make their next best decision, because right or wrong, good or bad is placing judgment on that and sometimes the decision that is best for us, we think it's out of alignment with our values, but really it's out of alignment with the values, but really it's out of alignment with the values other people have put on us or outside sources have put on us, and God, if we're speaking to that idea, is putting something on our heart that is for us, that he's like pushing us, like yeah, this feels scary because you've heard this one way of living and I'm calling you to a different way. That might not make sense, but it is what is for our higher good, and so I just think it's such an interesting thing to think about as we are navigating those decisions of. But this is out of alignment with our values and I want to challenge women to be like but is that what you really value? Is that the thing that you value, or is it the value you have been conditioned to believe is best for you?
Speaker 1:That's so interesting.
Speaker 2:It's so interesting and I think of your husband. I mean, wow, what he went through and just questioning everything and I'm sure that was a very tumultuous time for him. And even the average person goes through questioning 100%.
Speaker 1:I always say we're all coming out about something we talk about, like, and I watched him have to come out. You know, in the typical sense that we frame it as coming out as a gay man and I'm like. But there are things we are afraid to share about ourselves with people every day of our lives. I might be afraid to dress the way I want to dress because my so-and-so is not going to approve of it, they're going to have opinions, or it's not the acceptable way to dress or whatever. And this may be like modesty, whatever you may claim it, as it might also just be that you like wearing fun, loud things, or I want to dress in black every day, like whatever it is to you that feels scary to embrace about ourselves. And that's why coming out is scary.
Speaker 1:And coming out in all sorts of ways are scary is because, oh, I mean, we had somebody reach out to us when we had a podcast together and they were like I'm afraid. I was afraid to come out to my parents as an artist because they wanted me to be a doctor and they wanted all these things, and so it's like we come out in so many different ways and I am not negating I don't want people to think I'm negating the significance of coming out as a queer individual, but also it happens in our everyday today, like we are constantly embracing something that feels scary and the more we embrace it and do it and come out as ourselves, the easier it gets and the more exciting it is and the more peace and calm and joy we get to have in our lives.
Speaker 2:That makes so much sense, though, in all different aspects of our lives and I just did an episode with my good friend, alex Street, and he specializes in speaking and crafting your story and really expressing yourself and sharing who you are. And it's so true though it's. It's I mean, it's even like a young person who might be involved in one sport or sport and they decide they don't want to do it anymore and they just like they're tormented over telling their parents like I don't want to play basketball anymore or whatever. I'm just. It's just such a mild example, but it's so true what you're saying, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's. I mean, I was just speaking to somebody right before this about this idea of releasing identities, because it is this moment of feeling like we are releasing this identity and stepping it into a new one, and that is scary because we've carried that identity for a reason, like there's something in us as to why we've carried it. And speaking to sports too, one of the things I always think of in this analogy of releasing identities is my, my daughter. When she was two, she watched the Olympics at my parents' house. I was like out when they were babysitting and my parents are like. She told us she's going to be a swimmer and she told us she's going to the Olympics for swimming.
Speaker 1:Like this little two-year-old, she was tiny, and the next day we went to the swimming pool and she jumps in and starts teaching herself how to swim, like she was just like mimicking and like just going at it, and she just sat at the corner of the pool where she could touch, so she felt safe, but just kept over and over again swimming back and forth from where she could reach to the other, and for years she was a swimmer. She carried this identity of a swimmer and would tell people yeah, I'm going to the Olympics and all of this stuff. She carried this identity of a swimmer and would tell people yeah, I'm going to the Olympics and all of this stuff. She started on swim team when she was five and she was so tiny there were no team suits that fit her. We had to find, like some suit, that kind of was the right colors that fit her and then at like I think it was like sixth, seventh grade she was like I don't want to swim anymore. And she went through this identity crisis of wasted time and I told people I was going to be an Olympic swimmer and how do I go about this? And she's like mom, I just like wasted all this. I'm like, no, there are so many things that you are now taking from this identity that you held into the next and it's important that we understand we get to shift identities. That doesn't mean we failed. That doesn't get to shift identities. That doesn't mean we failed. That doesn't mean we are bad. That doesn't mean whatever we're placing as the meaning on it. It means that now we are taking this experience into the next level. And I told Penny, when she was like going through this little identity crisis that felt huge to her. I'm like you took care of your body by swimming for so many years. You learned how to do that from this sport. You learned to be coachable, because you learned that your coaches knew how to tweak your form so that you went faster and it felt easier and better, and like these are all these things that we could list out that we learned, and I think, when we can embrace that about this shift that we are experiencing in any way of our lives, that we get to embrace those identities in a way that actually feels good.
Speaker 1:I never wanted to carry the identity of a divorced woman, like that is not me. I did all the things right, I checked all of the boxes and so when it was like I am divorcing, like there is no option here for us at this point, this is what needs to happen for us to be like to live Basically, I had to rethink that identity. And so now, often when I introduce myself, like in a formal setting of you know, I get on a podcast or whatever, or I'm speaking I say I'm a mom, I'm a step mom, mom, I'm a wife and an ex-wife and I'm a bold action taker because I want to empower some of those identities that I carry, that feel carry stigma around them, that feel you know less than step-mom comes with a stigma. I, I, it just does it. Being an ex-wife comes with a stigma, like I failed at my marriage and I don't view it as that.
Speaker 1:Those are some of the things that I am now the most proud of in my life to carry and I think that you know we we get hung up on the identity there and it does feel scary to embrace that new identity and to say those words. I mean it feels scary to say I'm an author, I'm a speaker, like those things feel scary sometimes, but also they light me up at the same time. But there's a different I like identity behind those. There's a different feeling that comes from those that I want to embrace and this sometimes feels scary to embrace. So, just speaking to that, it's a big part of this process, it's a big part of decision-making and it can feel scary and it is a rethinking of what we thought our lives would look like and who we present ourselves as, and all of those things.
Speaker 2:I love how you embrace all of it, as you rightfully should, right. However, I'm sure that over time like initially it was like you said, it was scary to come out and say all those things about yourself, but over time it's like. I think it's one of those things too, where you give again, going back to the, giving the permission to others who are in the same exact situation, where they might be not wanting to share it or they're hiding behind it, and then you're giving them that permission and confidence to say it's okay, Like I get it, I've been there, I understand. And it the identity part I can relate to so much. That's a lot of the reason I started my moms who flourish community.
Speaker 2:One big reason is to help moms feel connected and to not feel alone with the different phases of motherhood yes, One of them most specifically being becoming an empty nester. Yeah, Talk about identity shifts For some. I know it wasn't as hard for me as I thought it could be, but I know for a lot of moms that is their focus for 18 years, right, For those that are stay athome moms and I love stay-at-home moms that has been their focus. So to shift out of that. I want to help moms embrace that and to know that it's challenging to go through it, but there's so many beautiful moments on the other side of it. And again it's just goes back to your point. It's, it's an, it's a shift in our identity.
Speaker 1:There's so many transitions that we go through in our lives, like the one you're speaking to right now becoming an empty nester that they feel scary because we don't know who we are without that label that we've put on ourselves. And some of us, more than others, have made that our whole identity and there's nothing wrong, good or bad, right or wrong about that, it's just the reality. But then it can feel extra scary when that shift happens of, oh, my gosh, my heart and soul and everything I am has gone into these kids. Now what do I do? Like what just happened, and so that can like.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you see marriages end at that point because we don't know who we are. And so we have to come back to that deep connection to ourselves and in, like my book, in the decision making process that I share in there it helps us do that. It helps us come back to who we are. It helps us connect back to who am I at the core, like, yes, I have these identities that I carry, but also who am I within those? What is important to me? What do I actually like to do? What meals do I like to eat outside of trying to feed my family and please five, six different people. However many people are in your family and really understand that I still get to carry those and those parts of me are still important and now, sometimes I got to figure that out when I go through these transitions in life.
Speaker 2:It's so true. When is your book? I think you told me before we started, your book is out and it's available for purchase, right?
Speaker 1:Yes, and so one of the things I really want with this book is for it to be accessible to women on all levels. I want it to be accessible financially and I want it to be a starting point, because sometimes it is scary to walk into the room. Even when it's the safest room possible. Even if it's virtual. To show up in a room, it can feel scary, and so that is kind of the intention behind this is this is a starting point, this is a place that feels safe, and so I've made it free.
Speaker 1:The book is free. You pay shipping and there are some other things you can add on there, but the idea is that I want so many women to embrace this, I want to elevate women's voices, and so it's free. Pay shipping and handling that covers like the cost of that part of it, and then you get this book that can help you create that deep connection back to yourself, whether you're going through a big transition or not, because I believe in working out this decision-making muscle at all times of our life. So if you're like, oh, I'm not making big decisions, or oh, I'm a really good decision-making decision maker, I'm like I challenge you to go like, dig into that a bit to make, to fine tune this muscle when you're not in the thick of it. And if you are in the thick of it it's not too late, like we get to still build this muscle when we are in it. So yeah, you can go pick up the book now.
Speaker 2:It's called Shove your Sheds and it's at shoveyourshedscom, so very easy to find I love it so much and I will put the link for sure in the show notes. And how can people find you, jessica?
Speaker 1:yeah, the place I am the most active on the interwebs is on Instagram, at hey, jessica Frew, that is where you will find me showing up almost every day, except when I need a break, because breaks are needed, but that is where I am the most active, so you can go check me out there.
Speaker 2:I love it. Well, I will put all that info in the show notes and I just I, I'm just fascinated talking with you. I love talking with you and everything that you share, and I'm so grateful for this time that we have had. This has been great.
Speaker 1:Thanks, thanks for having me had.
Speaker 2:This has been great. Thanks, thanks for having me Absolutely, and I I can't wait to get your book and I can't wait to share it at my event next month. I'm definitely going to give you a shout out at my mom's wellness event. And what are some maybe final thoughts, words of wellness inspiration you'd like to leave with our listeners?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I truly believe that the most important thing that we can do for our health is make decisions that are in alignment with who we are, and I believe that that helps regulate our nervous system. I think it helps with anxiety, with ADHD, with all of these things that we're dealing with on a day-to-day basis deep connection to ourselves, to our partners, to our kids, when we make decisions that are in alignment for us. So, fine tune that decider, get in tune with that self-trust, with knowing who you are, so you can make those decisions. It will change your life for the better. It will change your life for the better.
Speaker 2:Amen, yes, it will Thank you, yeah, thanks for having me and to all our listeners reach out to Jessica, especially if you're going through a phase and you need some support in making a decision, or even if you're going through it or it's something in the future. You can hear her message is amazing. She's amazing to talk to, so reach out to her. I will put all our information in the show notes and thank you all for listening on this day. Have a beautiful, blessed rest of your week and we will see you next time on Words of Wellness.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. I hope you gained value and enjoyed our time together as much as I did, and if you know someone who could benefit from today's episode, I would love and appreciate it if you could share with a friend or rate and review Words of Wellness so that more can hear this message. Appreciate you all, thank you for listening and if you have any questions or topics you would like me to share in future episodes, please don't hesitate to reach out to me through my contact information that is shared in the show notes below. Again, thank you for tuning in to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I encourage you to do something for you, for your wellness on this day. Until next time, I hope you all have a healthy, happy and blessed week. Thank you.