Words of Wellness with Shelly

Shelly's Shares: A Mother's Journey Through College Drop-offs & Navigating the Empty Nest Transition

• Shelly Jefferis • Season 2 • Episode 111

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The final goodbye hits differently. After sending our first two children off to college, we thought the third time might be easier. But when it's your baby, your youngest, leaving the nest—that's when the reality of returning to a truly empty home takes on new meaning.

My journey taking our youngest son to college in Michigan revealed unexpected emotions, challenges, and ultimately, a surprising sense of peace. The summer baseball separation that preceded his college departure became an unexpected blessing—God's way of preparing my heart for the bigger transition ahead. Even with the advantage of experience, each parental goodbye carries its own unique emotional signature.

What made the difference? Having our middle son join us for the drop-off, scheduling future visits to look forward to, and giving myself permission to experience all the emotions that came with this significant life transition. The visits are so exciting while the goodbyes remain difficult, but we adapt and find new rhythms in this evolving relationship with our adult children. I've discovered there's no universal timeline for adjustment—some parents transition smoothly while others need more time and support to find their footing in this new chapter.

If you're approaching this milestone or currently navigating it, know you're not alone. Join our community at the upcoming Moms Who Flourish wellness event on October 4th in Southern California, where we'll feature a panel of empty-nester moms sharing their journeys and wisdom. Connect with me about mentorship opportunities if you're seeking more personalized support during this significant life transition. Together, we can embrace this new chapter with grace, patience, and eventual joy.

CONNECT WITH SHELLY:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithshellyj https://www.instagram.com/momswhoflourish
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ShellyJefferis

LINK to upcoming MOMS WHO FLOURISH Wellness Event October 4th: https://buy.stripe.com/00weVc40n64nbsNblH0gw0p

A few of Shelly's favorite clean products:

High quality, clean nutrition and beauty products: https://shellyjefferis.isagenix

Clean-crafted wine, free from chemicals & pesticides:
https://scoutandcellar.com/?u=healthyhappyhours

Cayla Gray- Non-toxic cologne & perfume: https://caylagray.com/wellnesswithshellyj (10% discount)

JuJu Non-toxic candles & air fresheners:
https://goodjujucandles.com/?ref=mrtgnygh
Coupon code for 10% off: ShellyJefferis

Thank you for listening to the Words of Wellness podcast with Shelly Jefferis. I am honored and so grateful to have you here and it would mean the world to me if you could take a minute to follow, leave a 5-star review and share the podcast with anyone you love and anyone you feel could benefit from the message.

Thank you and God Bless! And remember to do something for yourself, for your wellness on this day!
In Health,

Shelly

Speaker 1:

You know, coming home again to the empty house was hard. It was hard. However, I must say it wasn't easy, but it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. That first week when we took him to summer ball, I really, really, truly believe that was God's way of preparing me and preparing my heart, because I really thought, oh my gosh, how am I going to do this when he's clear across the country?

Speaker 1:

Do you get confused by all of the information that Vabar does every day on ways to improve our overall health and our overall wellness? Do you often feel stuck, unmotivated or struggle to reach your wellness goals? Do you have questions as to what exercises you should feel stuck, unmotivated or struggle to reach your wellness goals? Do you have questions as to what exercises you should be doing, what foods you should or should not be eating, how to improve your overall emotional and mental well-being? Hello everyone, I am so excited to welcome you to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I will be your host. My goal is to answer these questions and so much more to share tips, education and inspiration around all of the components of wellness through solo and guest episodes. With 35 plus years as a health and wellness professional, a retired college professor, a speaker and a multi-passionate entrepreneur. I certainly have lots to share. However, my biggest goal and inspiration in doing this podcast is to share the wellness stories of others with you, to bring in guests who can share their journeys so that we can all learn together while making an impact on the health, the wellness and lives of all of you, our listeners. The ultimate hope is that you leave today with even just one nugget that can enhance the quality of your life and that you will we all will, now and into the future, live our best quality of lives, full of energy, happiness and joy. Now let's dive into our.

Speaker 1:

Hi, my friends, welcome to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly and I will be your host, and this is the third part in a three-part series of Shelly's Shares that I said I wanted to share with all of my listeners about my journey of taking our children to college and what that looked like for us, and just kind of give you a little bit of my perspective and just be really transparent about the experience, because I know for many of you that moment is just around the corner, like it is for us again, so I wanted to just come in here and share each experience. Each one was slightly different and I thought it could be comforting for some of you that it could be just a way for you to feel like, okay, I'm not the only one going through this, and to also give you the permission, let you know that it's okay to be going through a lot of different emotions. It's an emotional time. It's bittersweet you see everyone say that and it's so, you know. It's tough because it is such an exciting time for our kids. It's exciting for us parents, yet at the same time, it can be heartbreaking. Right, our babies are not in our home, you know, and it's a tough transition, but it's an okay transition. We get through it, right, we get through it.

Speaker 1:

And again this, I'm talking to my mamas out there because I am one, but this is also for the dads. Dads go through it too. Dads go through it too. So I just want to share with you a little bit more of my personal journey and I also want to remind everyone, for my moms out there, if any of you are feeling like you could use some support, mentorship, along your motherhood journey, along your wellness journey, and then, if you're becoming an empty nester, or maybe you are one, and if you're struggling with what that looks like, with your identity, with your daily routine, if you're needing clarity in any area of motherhood, of your wellness journey, please reach out. That is what I'm offering right now one-on-one mentorship and also small group. So feel free to reach out to me. Let's have a conversation, see if it would be a good fit, and I would love to.

Speaker 1:

Well, okay, we've gone through it now twice, a little bit easier the third time around, but yet he's our baby. He's our baby, which means no more babies in the house. And I think it's in some ways easier and in some ways harder. And I'm gonna just be honest. You know, before we took our brain into college, he had summer ball and he went away to play summer ball for a few weeks and it was up north on the central coast, so not very far from home. So that was wonderful, you know. We could go up there and watch his games.

Speaker 1:

However, I do know, and I will share, that when we dropped him off up there the first week home, I did cry almost every night, cry almost every night. You know, the hard thing was wanting to say goodnight to him and him not being there. And you know he would come into my room give me a hug, goodnight, and say goodnight each night, and he wasn't home to do that. And so he struggled with that that first week and, to be honest with you, I thought, oh my gosh, how's it going to be when he is thousands of miles away in Michigan, when he goes away to college? So I was like woof, woof, how is this going to be? So we got through the summer ball time, he came home for a little bit and then we made our way out to Michigan.

Speaker 1:

Now, kind of the beautiful thing about this was that Our middle son, now Cody, is out coaching baseball in Chicago. So what we did was we flew to his place, spent a couple days there and then he came with us and we drove to Michigan to take our braid into school, and so it was really special to have Cody with us and I really truly believe that helped alleviate some of the sadness. And so we spent a couple, two, three days, did our thing, you know, did the Costco run, did all the runs and buying the things that's needed for the dorm. You know, we should have this down pat now. This is our third time. Right, third time's a charm.

Speaker 1:

And we got our boy settled and, um, and then it was time he was scheduled for his physical, for his team. He was there now to play baseball as well, and so, um, we, we dropped him off, we went and, uh, got a little something to eat before we headed out of town and you know, lo and behold, I was really hoping Braden would be done with his physical and we'd be able to see him one last time and give him a little drive back to his dorm. And sure enough, it worked out. We thought, okay, if he's done by the time we finished eating, we'll go meet him, we'll pick him up and give him a little drive back. And so, you know, I might've just said a little prayer that that would work out that way, and it did, and it was really nice and very special. And then we headed back, you know, headed back to to Chicago, and then flew out and came home.

Speaker 1:

And, you know, coming home again to the empty house was hard. It was hard. However, I must say it wasn't. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be that that first week when we took him to summer ball. I really, really, truly believe that was God's way of preparing me and preparing my heart, because I really thought, oh my gosh, how am I going to do this when he's clear across the country? And it really was not as hard as I thought it would be.

Speaker 1:

And my husband's so awesome. He says, you know, schedule a time, go, you know, get out there. And go out there and see him and check on him, make sure he's doing okay and all is going well. And and so you know, get out there and go out there and see him, see him and check on him, make sure he's doing okay and all is going well. And, um, and so you know, I did do that. I went out, um, it was about maybe a month later and, gosh, it was so wonderful. It was so wonderful to see him and to see how he was doing and to spend time with him. And I can just tell all of you that those are the moments that are so, so special and it's just, you know, assuming they're doing great, assuming they're adjusting well. It does our mama's heart so good to see that.

Speaker 1:

And I want to be respectful of everyone, because it's not always that way, right. Not everybody's going to adjust to their new surroundings and I want to be respectful of everyone because it's not always that way, right? Not everybody's going to adjust to their new surroundings. Not everyone's going to adjust to being away at school, especially when they're that far from home. I get it, it does not work out for everyone and we've been blessed that it's worked out. The journey has worked out. But again, I want to recognize those of you who have children who maybe maybe it wasn't the right place for them, maybe it didn't work out and maybe they didn't adjust, and that's okay. You know, I always say there was a place, there was a journey for everyone, and I'm just sharing my personal journey with you all.

Speaker 1:

And again, you know it's, we're getting ready to take our Brandon back to school. You know he just he completed his first year and we'll be heading back out. We're going to do a similar, a similar trip, where we head out to our Cody's first, spend some time with him and then we head into driving to Michigan and take Bray, and I'm looking forward to that trip. I'm not looking forward to coming home again to an empty home, an empty house. But I do know that when we have different trips planned and set on the calendar.

Speaker 1:

I want to encourage all of you to do that. If you haven't yet done that, do that, because then you have that to look forward to. You know that you're going to see them in three weeks, five weeks, six, whatever it is, eight weeks, whatever the time frame is. It always helps to have that to look forward to. And it's so, so exciting. The visits are just so exciting and so fun.

Speaker 1:

But the goodbyes are still hard. I'm not going to again, I won't sugarcoat it. The goodbyes are still hard. But again, as I've mentioned, in sharing this journey with you all, I still take that time. I'll cry if I need to or want to hang out on the couch, watch a movie, whatever it looks like. I give myself grace and I want to encourage you all to do the exact same thing Give yourself time, give yourself grace, be patient with yourself, self-grace, be patient with yourself.

Speaker 1:

It takes time. It's an adjustment. It's an adjustment and you know I mean for some it might be an easy adjustment, for others not so much it might. You know, I think that's the other thing. There's no, there's no book on this. There's no set timeline on this. It's different for everyone.

Speaker 1:

And again, I'm just sharing what I experienced, just to share my personal story and to offer what's worked for me and to just really be transparent with you all about the experience, in hopes again that I maybe touch someone's heart, maybe comfort someone you know, comfort you. Any of you might go be going through it. I'm here, I feel you, I understand and I hear you and I know, believe me, I know, and it's also a big mission of mine to have the conversation around this. We didn't have it before we first took our daughter and, like I said a couple weeks ago, I wish I would have had some preparation, had some idea of what to expect. And this is what I offered at our last Moms who Flourish wellness event and I'm going to do it again at our next event, saturday October 4th, where we will have a panel. We'll have a panel of a handful of moms who have become empty nesters and have them share their journey and share what's maybe helped them along the way, and so we'll be doing that again. We helped them along the way and so we'll be doing that again.

Speaker 1:

I want to encourage any of you who are able to be in Southern California that weekend the early bird registration link is in the show notes and I want to encourage any of you and all of you who can make it, to make it. It's an incredible, very special day that is just devoted to all of us moms day that is just devoted to all of us moms and it's a day of wellness experts in different areas of wellness. We'll be speaking, we'll have vendors, we'll have lunch together, we'll have time to connect and to share, and it's just a very special community and I would love for you to be a part of it. So grab your ticket. Hope to see you on the 4th. I know that's a little ways off, but it will be here before we know it.

Speaker 1:

And again, if you feel you could use any kind of mentorship, support, guidance when it comes to combining your motherhood journey with your wellness journey, any support along the way, any way that I can serve you, I would love to. So again, reach out and let's connect and see how I can support you. So, with that being said, I hope that you have found some comfort in knowing that you're not alone. If you're going through it, or if you're getting ready to go through it, you're not alone and I hope that me sharing these three different episodes has helped you to know that. And sending much love out to any and all moms out there, especially all of you who are getting ready to take your kiddos to college, whatever that looks like for you. Sending out much love and, as always, take time for yourself and your wellness on this day and have a beautiful, blessed rest of your week, everyone, I'll see you next time on Words of Wellness.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. I hope you gained value and enjoyed our time together as much as I did, and if you know someone who could benefit from today's episode, I would love and appreciate it if you could share with a friend or rate and review words of wellness so that more can hear this message. I love and appreciate you all. Thank you for listening and if you have any questions or topics you would like me to share in future episodes, please don't hesitate to reach out to me through my contact information that is shared in the show notes below. Again, thank you for tuning in to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I encourage you to do something for you, for your wellness, on this day. Until next time, I hope you all have a healthy, happy and blessed week. Thank you, you.