Words of Wellness with Shelly

Shelly's Shares: When They Leave the Nest: How to Navigate the Emotional Rollercoaster of College Farewells

• Shelly Jefferis • Season 2 • Episode 109

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Watching your child walk away into a college building marks one of parenting's most bittersweet milestones – a moment when pride and heartache occupy the same space. In this vulnerable episode, Shelly opens up about taking her middle son Cody to college in San Diego, continuing her series on college transitions and the empty nester journey.

Though geographically closer than her daughter's school in Oregon, the emotional landscape remained challenging. That profound feeling of returning to a home where your child's bedroom sits empty never quite gets easier. What struck her most powerfully, though, was witnessing her youngest son, just ten years old, process this change in his own way. Standing before family Christmas card photos, his quiet observation – "It's going to be weird now" – captured what many families experience but rarely discuss openly.

Through this journey, she's discovered the healing power of intentional pauses. Taking a day at home with her youngest to simply acknowledge their feelings rather than rushing back to routine became their pathway to acceptance. This practice of honoring emotional needs – giving themselves permission to feel, rest, and adjust at their own pace – has become Shelly's cornerstone for navigating life's transitions. While the immediate sharp pain of separation eventually transforms, it evolves into something equally powerful: witnessing your child thrive independently while you discover new dimensions of your own identity.

Whether you're approaching your first college drop-off or your last, remember that acknowledging your feelings isn't weakness – it's wisdom. We'd love to hear about your own experiences with this transition. Connect with Shelly on Instagram @wellnesswithshellyj or through the contact information in the show notes to share your story or explore how one-on-one mentorship might support your journey toward embracing this new chapter.

CONNECT WITH SHELLY:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithshellyj https://www.instagram.com/momswhoflourish
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ShellyJefferis

LINK to upcoming MOMS WHO FLOURISH Wellness Event October 4th: https://buy.stripe.com/00weVc40n64nbsNblH0gw0p

A few of Shelly's favorite clean products:

High quality, clean nutrition and beauty products: https://shellyjefferis.isagenix

Clean-crafted wine, free from chemicals & pesticides:
https://scoutandcellar.com/?u=healthyhappyhours

Cayla Gray- Non-toxic cologne & perfume: https://caylagray.com/wellnesswithshellyj (10% discount)

JuJu Non-toxic candles & air fresheners:
https://goodjujucandles.com/?ref=mrtgnygh
Coupon code for 10% off: ShellyJefferis

Thank you for listening to the Words of Wellness podcast with Shelly Jefferis. I am honored and so grateful to have you here and it would mean the world to me if you could take a minute to follow, leave a 5-star review and share the podcast with anyone you love and anyone you feel could benefit from the message.

Thank you and God Bless! And remember to do something for yourself, for your wellness on this day!
In Health,

Shelly

Speaker 1:

and I have some pictures just through the years, our Christmas card pictures. I have those up on this door and I'll never forget that sweet boy. He stood there and he looked at those pictures and he said it's going to be weird. Now, it's going to be weird, it's going to be weird. And I said, no, bud, it's not, I go, it's not going to be weird, I go, it's going to be a little different, it's not going to be weird, it's going to be. We're going to be okay, it's going to be okay.

Speaker 1:

Do you get confused by all of the information that bombard us every day on ways to improve our overall health and our overall wellness? Do you often feel stuck, unmotivated or struggle to reach your wellness goals? Do you have questions as to what exercises you should be doing, what foods you should or should not be eating, how to improve your overall emotional and mental well-being? Hello everyone, I am so excited to welcome you to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelley Jeffries and I will be your host. My goal is to answer these questions and so much more to share tips, education and inspiration around all of the components of wellness through solo and guest episodes. With 35 plus years as a health and wellness professional, a retired college professor, a speaker and a multi-passionate entrepreneur, I certainly have lots to share. However, my biggest goal and inspiration in doing this podcast is to share the wellness stories of others with you, to bring in guests who can share their journeys so that we can all learn together while making an impact on the health, the wellness and lives of all of you, our listeners. The ultimate hope is that you leave today with even just one nugget that can enhance the quality of your life and that you will we all will, now and into the future, live our best quality of lives, full of energy, happiness and joy. Now let's dive into our message for today. Hello, my friends, and welcome back to Words of Wellness.

Speaker 1:

My name is Shelly and I will be your host, and this is our Monday episode of Shelly Shares and, as I mentioned last week, I am doing a series right now where I am sharing about the experience of taking our three children to college and what each experience was like. I know that is around the corner for many of us, and whether it's you're taking your first baby to college, your only baby, or maybe it's your second, your third, your fourth, your fifth, or perhaps you're taking one of your kids back to school and it's their second, third or fourth year of college, whatever it is, whatever it looks like. I wanted to just give some different perspectives and share my personal journey and experience with all of you in hopes that you know it offers maybe some comfort to you. It can be a really challenging time for us mamas and I thought if I hopped in and just gave a little bit of my experience and just be really transparent and share with you all that it could be encouraging and in comfort to at least, even if it just touches one life out there in one listener out there, then then I've I've done my. I've done my job. That's what I strive for to touch at least just one life and to encourage all of you who might be going through the experience of taking your child to college and having them move away, whether it's close to home or far from home and whatever that looks like, whether it's close to home or far from home and whatever that looks like.

Speaker 1:

I just wanted to jump in and share a little bit about our journey with taking our kids to college. Last week I shared about taking our daughter to Oregon and the experience of doing that to Oregon and the experience of doing that Today. I want to hop in and share the experience of taking our middle son, cody, to college Now, a little bit different than taking our daughter to Oregon. He went to college in San Diego so in some ways, you know, that made it a little easier. That was a blessing because you know, closer to home right. So what should be about a two and a half hour drive can sometimes be four or five hours because of the traffic nowadays, but needless to say, much closer to home than Oregon. He was blessed to go to San Diego to go to college and to play baseball and what a journey, what a journey it was and I can share at some point more about that.

Speaker 1:

But what I want to share right now is about the experience of taking our Cody to college. Now, like I said, it was a little closer to home, so we made the drive down there. Our daughter was home so she got to go with us and again we did. We did the normal things, you know. We went and got what he needed for his dorm and got him all set up with what he needed to have. There were a couple events that weekend kind of welcoming events on campus, and we did that also with our daughter as well.

Speaker 1:

But this was I think we were there from like a Thursday to a Sunday and I don't know how it is for all of you moms, and maybe dads too, but I'm that mom that I just I know when it becomes time and it's time to say goodbye. I just never want to say goodbye and I just I know when it becomes time and it's time to say goodbye. I just never want to say goodbye and I just I put it off to the very, very, very, very end as long as possible. And I'll never forget that, our last day with Cody, he had a couple different like class sessions he had to go to and plus, being an athlete, he had some meetings he had to go through go to. So we, we hung out on campus with him as much as we could and then it became time for his his last session, and time for us to, to, to hit the road and head home, um and uh.

Speaker 1:

I'll never forget, you know, saying our goodbyes and tears coming in again and hugging and just watching him. I have pictures of him but watching him walk away and enter this big, beautiful building on campus. And there he went beautiful building on campus, and and there, there, there he went. Then, then he, then he was gone into his new, his new journey of college and we uh, made our drive home, um, again a little bit challenging, but this time we didn't have as far to drive to get home. And then, you know, coming home to again the fact that he wasn't here, that was hard, that was hard, and I do feel like it was still difficult and painful as a mom. Yet on the other hand, it was a little bit easier, since we'd gone through it once and knowing that he was a little closer to home. I think that helped it be a little bit easier the transition.

Speaker 1:

However, I will say that again, our, our Brayden, was still young. He now is 10 and I'll never forget we have a little door downstairs by a built-in desk and on this door it's a door to like a little closet, and I have some pictures just through the years, our Christmas card pictures. I have those up on this door and I'll never forget that sweet boy. He stood there and he looked at those pictures and he said it's going to be weird. Now it's going to be weird and I said, no, bud, it's not, I go, it's not going to be weird, I go, it's going to be a little different, it's not going to be weird, I go, it's going to be a little different, it's not going to be weird, it's going to be. We're going to be okay, it's going to be okay.

Speaker 1:

And for any of you who have taken older children to school and you have younger siblings oof, oof, it's tough, it's tough. But you know, we took the time that we needed, time that we needed. And something that I learned and I made a point of doing it not just with myself but also with with my Brayden is is taking the time needed. You know, um, I remember that that day I was gonna take him, I was gonna take him into school, he was gonna go to school late and, um, I just finally said, but but I goes, you want it, you want to stay home, and he's like, yeah, so he and I stayed home together, hung out on the couch, and I just want to share with you all that. I really, truly believe that has helped. And I still do that.

Speaker 1:

I still give myself time, give myself a day to kind of recoup, to just go through the emotions, if I'm feeling sad or I just want to kind of just be and just be still and just have a day to kind of, you know, process everything. And so I made a point back then. I learned long ago. Then I started to do that, not just for, like I said, for myself, but also for my Raiden. I gave him that, I gave him that opportunity and to let him know it's okay Just to just hang out and be home for a day and ultimately that's all that it took. He'd get back to school the next day and start to get back into a routine, which I think is also important. But we don't want to jump back into it right away.

Speaker 1:

If there's still those emotions that we're going through, I think it's so important to take the time to go through them and feel them and again, that helps us to be able to grow and to process and to be able to, you know, one step in front of the other and get back into our routine. And so that's what we did. And it wasn't too long before we made a trek down to San Diego, and we went down there often because Cody was playing baseball, so we got to go down there and see all of his games and it was just an amazing experience. But again, I don't want to sugarcoat anything. I do say, like I mentioned, a little bit easier we went this is our second time now going through it went through it with our daughter, now it's with Cody and a little easier, but at the same time it's still painful, it's still sad.

Speaker 1:

They're still not home. You get home and they're not in their bedroom. They're not under. You know the roof, our same roof. They're not. They're not home and I think that's probably one of the hardest things to grasp and to accept. Um, but again it's.

Speaker 1:

It's been many years of this journey for us and there's been so many incredible joyful moments. So I, just as much as I want to share and be real about the sadness and and what the experience is like, there's a lot of beautiful moments on the other side, so that's really what I want to also share with everyone and be clear about. So again, I just hope this touches someone's heart and comforts you in some way and, like I mentioned last time, if you have a personal journey you want to share taking your child to college, or maybe you have some thoughts I would just love to have you share them with me. Feel free to reach out to me on Instagram at wellnesswithshellyj. All my contact information is in the show notes.

Speaker 1:

Here and again, if you feel like you could benefit from some one-on-one mentorship when it comes to motherhood and becoming an empty nester and taking time for you and making your wellness a priority, please reach out. Let's have a conversation and see if I can help you along your journey. I would love to serve you in any way that I can. So, with that being said, my friends, take some time for yourself and your wellness on this day. Have a beautiful, blessed rest of the week and I will see you next time on Words of Wellness. Rest of the week and I will see you next time on Words of Wellness.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. I hope you gained value and enjoyed our time together as much as I did, and if you know someone who could benefit from today's episode, I would love and appreciate it if you could share with a friend or rate and review Words of Wellness, so that more can hear this message. I love and appreciate you all. Thank you for listening and if you have any questions or topics you would like me to share in future episodes. Please don't hesitate to reach out to me through my contact information that is shared in the show notes below. Again, thank you for tuning in to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I encourage you to do something for you, for your wellness, on this day. Until next time, I hope you all have a healthy, happy and blessed week. Thank you, you.