Words of Wellness with Shelly
Do you get confused by all of the information that is available regarding ways to improve your health and wellness? Do you often become frustrated or overwhelmed with decisions on how to be your healthiest? We all know and understand how important our health and wellness is to the vitality of our lives, however navigating the wealth of health and wellness information available can often feel overwhelming. Understanding the significance of our well-being in leading fulfilling lives is crucial, yet determining what steps to take that are essential for our health can often be confusing.
Welcome everyone to "Words of Wellness"! In this podcast, hosted by Shelly Jefferis, M.A., a seasoned health and wellness professional with over 35 years in the industry, all of your questions will be answered and clarity will be provided through personal stories, education, tips and inspiration. Throughout her profession, Shelly has always had the heart and desire to help others feel their best and live their best lives through her supportive and compassionate approach. Through engaging solo and guest episodes, several topics will be addressed, questions will be answered and clarity will be provided in an effort to lead you to a healthier, more energetic life. With a master’s degree in kinesiology, extensive experience as an educator, speaker, coach, and entrepreneur, Shelly brings a wealth of knowledge and a genuine passion for empowering others to feel their best. By featuring industry experts and relatable individuals, the podcast promises personal stories, practical advice, and inspiration. She is excited to come to you weekly sharing all she has experienced, learned and discovered through the years. Whether you're seeking to elevate your well-being, gain practical insights for personal health, or simply be inspired to live a high quality vibrant life, this is the podcast is for YOU! Be sure to tune in weekly and join us along our "Words of Wellness" journey and embark on a path toward a healthier and more fulfilling quality of life full of happiness, energy and joy!
Words of Wellness with Shelly
Finding Purpose Through Pain: A Motherhood's Unexpected Journey with Debbie Simmons
Imagine planning your entire life around becoming a young grandmother, only to face infertility, pregnancy loss, and a complete redirection of your path. This is Debbie Simmons' powerful story—a journey from devastating heartbreak to extraordinary purpose.
After losing quadruplets born prematurely, Debbie faced the ultimate question: How do you move forward when your dreams are shattered? Through raw vulnerability, she shares how she learned to stop asking "why me?" and instead focus on two simple steps: breathe, and take the next best step. Some days, that meant simply getting out of bed. Other days, it meant embracing new possibilities she never imagined.
What emerged from Debbie's pain is nothing short of remarkable. She and her husband eventually adopted nine children from traumatic backgrounds, and she founded Anchor Point, a comprehensive ministry that supports thousands of families through medical clinics, family centers, therapeutic camps, and recovery programs. Her work specifically addresses the generational cycles of trauma that affect children both biologically and environmentally.
Perhaps most refreshing is Debbie's perspective on parenting perfection. "If you get it right 30% of the time, your kids will be okay," she reassures listeners, comparing it to a Hall of Fame batting average. This grace-filled approach reminds us that resilience comes not from having perfect parents but from experiencing the restoration process when things go wrong.
Whether you're struggling with infertility, parenting challenges, or any life circumstance that didn't go according to plan, Debbie's message will resonate deeply: "Fall in love with the journey. Only in the present moment can we do anything meaningful." Her story proves that sometimes our greatest heartbreaks lead to our most profound purpose.
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Thank you for listening to the Words of Wellness podcast with Shelly Jefferis. I am honored and so grateful to have you here and it would mean the world to me if you could take a minute to follow, leave a 5-star review and share the podcast with anyone you love and anyone you feel could benefit from the message.
Thank you and God Bless!
And remember to do something for yourself, for your wellness on this day!
In Health,
Shelly Jefferis
need to learn to love and lead the children that God gives us, and you know mine all have traumatic backgrounds. So I just got nine out of nine and there was a lot of growing that I had to do to be able to be the mom that they needed me to be and that was taking care of my stuff so I could be fully present.
Speaker 2:Do you get confused by all of the information that bombard us every day on ways to improve our overall health and our overall wellness? Do you often feel stuck, unmotivated or struggle to reach your wellness goals? Do you have questions as to what exercises you should be doing, what foods you should or should not be eating, how to improve your overall emotional and mental well-being? Hello everyone, I am so excited to welcome you to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I will be your host. My goal is to answer these questions and so much more to share tips, education and inspiration around all of the components of wellness through solo and guest episodes. With 35 plus years as a health and wellness professional, a retired college professor, a speaker and a multi-passionate entrepreneur, I certainly have lots to share. However, my biggest goal and inspiration in doing this podcast is to share the wellness stories of others with you, to bring in guests who can share their journeys so that we can all learn together while making an impact on the health, the wellness and lives of all of you, our listeners. The ultimate hope is that you leave today with even just one nugget that can enhance the quality of your life, and that you will. We all will, now and into the future, live our best quality of lives, full of energy, happiness and joy. Now let's dive into our message for today.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone, and welcome back to Words of Wellness. I am very excited to share my guest with you all today, and we are continuing in this month of May with a little bit of the motherhood theme that I've been sharing and I believe, as we celebrate Mother's Day you know it's something we should. We celebrate every day, but I like to extend it all throughout the month of May and we're going to absolutely be doing that today when you hear about my guest from that we are having to share with us. She has a lot of amazing information to share. She's an international author, speaker, she has a book called the Perfectly Imperfect Family and she has a passion to just empower others to live out their legacies in business, family and life. And here is an incredible fact about her that I know she will share with us all today in detail, but she is the mother of nine yes, you heard that Nine children. So, debbie Simmons, I cannot wait to have this conversation with you. Thank you so much for joining me today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm excited to be here. It will be fun.
Speaker 2:It's going to be a lot of fun. So where to start? I'm going to say I think I am very fascinated about your journey of becoming a mom and I know we were sharing a little bit and you were sharing with me a little bit before we started recording. It sounds like you maybe had a little bit of a challenge early on starting your family and that's what led you to believe it, or not. Having nine children, yeah, sure, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So the we'll do a shortened version of this early part of my life. But the funny part is is that I did not have grandmothers because they had all passed away by the time I was born, and so we had a lady that was. Her son, played on my dad's football team. He she kind of just adopted us as a grandma, and so she was such a blessing to us and I loved her and I loved being with her. But she had a multiple sclerosis and so I watched her for many years suffer with that and I learned a ton through that. But what it left in my head was was I want to be a young grandma because I want to be able to do the things I can do with my kids, and I've always been able to accomplish stuff. And here's what I knew to be a young grandma you got to figure out who you're going to marry, you got to get married and you got to have kids, and then you get to be the young grandma. So I had a plan that this is what I was going to do, and so, as all of the plans that we sometimes make, sometimes it doesn't go exactly the way we planned, and this is a girl that can accomplish whatever she wants. So my journey is I did find a husband that's a good thing and he wouldn't let me get married early. He made me wait till I graduated, and I'm like darn. So after we graduated, we started trying to get pregnant Infertility till I graduated, and I'm like darn. So after we graduated, we started trying to get pregnant. Infertility became the story, and then from infertility we had one last try through a fertility study and ultimately became pregnant, originally diagnosed with twins. And then we were at 13 weeks, we thought that I would miscarry and it turned out that I was actually pregnant with quads. So I was pregnant with four children and we began that journey of trying to figure out how to get those babies here. And so that journey started us on a. You know, realizing that every day to get to the next day is a pretty amazing thing. So we started walking and it's one of the few times when I first figured out there was four.
Speaker 1:I got home and I was talking to my mom and I'm like I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm like I can't even get these kids home from the hospital. I don't have four car seats for the car? How do you feed these things? How do you handle all this stuff? Because we had figured it out and I was the breadwinner and my husband was in graduate school. And so I'm like, oh my gosh. And then I'm like, what about? Like how am I going to pay for all the school stuff and sports? And what do I do about college and cars? And then what if they're all girls and I got to pay for their weddings? And I'm just going on and on and on at like I've got their whole life, I've already got to have the answers for it. And my mom is like, why don't we just take it one day at a time? And I was like, oh, okay, that sounds like a great idea.
Speaker 1:And my dad got on the phone and he said uh, daddy loves you and I'll take care of you. I don't know where my husband was. I was like, thank you, dad. You know, uh, my husband is a great taker, care of me too. But I'm like, thank you, dad. And so off we go on our little journey around.
Speaker 1:Our goal was to get to 13, to get to 30 weeks, and, um, at 23 weeks, we decided to go tour the hospital because I wasn't going to be walking much longer, because I was very large. And, uh, on the way there, on the freeway, the traffic backed up and the car behind us hit us not super hard, but they hit us. And, um, I was like I don't feel good, because I can't really feel anything better, just like I don't really feel good. And so we did, dealt with the police, got done with the police. I told my husband, let's go ahead and go to the hospital. We need to go check it out because I'm going to be too tired to come back. And by the time we got to the hospital, I was like, dude, I really feel bad. And so I convinced the hospital to check me in and I said put me on a monitor because I want to see if I'm having contractions. And I was about two minutes apart. So they got me all calmed down and got me hydrated and took care of everything and then they let us go home the next day.
Speaker 1:But at that point we realized to make it to the next day of the miracle. And so we kept going on our journey and around 26 weeks, um, the boys. Uh, one of the sacks broke. I actually thought I was losing control of my bladder, but that wasn't it. It was a sack. And so we went to the doctor. The um doctor said you're going to the hospital to stay to see if you can, you know, get. You got to get to 30 and I'm like, okay, so off, we go to the hospital.
Speaker 1:And the I asked my husband. I said please stay with me this first night because I it was like I wasn't ready for the hospital, they weren't ready for me, and I'm like you know, and so I'm like stay with me this first night. My parents were coming early the next morning and we made it through the night. We woke up in the morning and I woke up in pain and I told him. I said I know that I am having contractions. I said go get the doctor.
Speaker 1:So the doctor comes in and the doctor checks everything out and she's like, um, the baby's like stuck a hand through your stitch cervix and is like waving that they're coming, and I just remember sitting there going. Is there a way to stop this? Like can it? It was like time stands still. Can you just stop this? Like push the hand back and like, and she's like no, you're going to have to deliver the baby. And I'm like, can you, can you save the baby? And um, at that point cause this was a few decades ago at that point technology was not available. If technology was available that's available now the babies would have lived.
Speaker 1:And so she, um, put me in surgery, took the stitches out, and then you waited again and a couple hours later little Zach arrived and they put him in my arms because his lungs weren't developed enough to live long outside the womb, and he took his little hand and he wrapped it around my finger and he squeezed as if to say mom, I'm here, and I just held that little boy and loved on him until he passed away into eternity. And then you wait, and they took more blood and they said now we have to see what her body does, if she can hold the other three or if she will get sick. So they sent the blood work off. By the time I got back, I had 103, 104 fever, I was getting very ill, and the blood work off. By the time I got back I had a hundred and 304 fever, I was getting very ill and the blood work was way whacked up and they were like you're going to have to deliver the other three. And so they induced the other three and we waited, came a couple hours later and they put them in my arms and I held them and loved them and off they went to be in eternity. Uh, so you know, when I should have been super excited about the birth of my boys, I'm sitting there, um, trying to figure out how to handle planning a funeral. Um, and it certainly wasn't on my radar screen of how my life was scripted to go, cause this is not doesn't seem to be getting me closer to being a grandma, right, and that's my heart's desire.
Speaker 1:So that night, as we were sitting in the hospital room, uh, I just remember trying to figure out like how, how am I going to, how do you get through this and how am I going to make my way? And you know, what do you do with this? And, um, all I could come down to was I don't know anywhere else to turn, but to say, god, I just am going to choose to trust you in this. I am just going to put a stake in the ground and I don't understand why I have a love for children and wanting grandchildren and I worked so hard to do it and why I can't do it. I don't understand all that and I don't know how to work my way through what I sit in right now. And he was very present, and I don't know about you, but when we face difficult situations, here's what I found A certain question rises up in me, really easy, and the question that I had that night was why me, god, why God, why me, why this, why that, why, why, why?
Speaker 1:And I'm like why. You know, and God is like I need you to give me your why, and I'm like why do I need to give you my why? This is I'm holding onto this because this is the thing we want to hold onto, because it's the only way we can figure our way right then in the pain, right. And he's like I need you to give it to me. And I'm like something I came to realize was you know, this side of heaven, no matter what God would say or any person would say to me, nothing would ever satisfy that. Why question it wouldn't't, it wouldn't take away my pain, it wouldn't bring my boys back, it wouldn't get me out of my situation. And then I realized, you know, when I get to heaven, why won't really matter, because there's no pain, no suffering, my boys are there, jesus is there, it's good. And so God doesn't give us answers to why he wants us to trust him with the question. And so I was like okay, god, I'll give you my why. So I'm like here's my why.
Speaker 1:And then I'm like what do I do? Like you just took my safety blanket, what do I do now? Right, and he said ask me a different question. And I'm like like what? And he's like ask me, how do I survive? And so that's the question I began asking how do I survive?
Speaker 1:And the reality is it comes down to two very simple things I need to breathe, okay, and I need to do the next best step, because, if it has to be right, that's going to paralyze us sometimes because we're going to wonder is this exactly right and am I stepping in God's will, or is this going to screw it up and we'll freeze? So what is the next best step for me in my situation? And what God wants me to do is to obediently take a step. And then he met me in faith, showed me the next step. I take the next step. He meets me and we repeat this process over and over again, because this is how, through obedience, how my faith muscle is grown. And so I just continued to do that over and over again. Now, just so we know what next best step looks like. You know, some mornings it might mean I pull that cover off of my head and I brush my teeth. That was it. And then other days it might mean I'm able to get up and to do something, you know, or over time, I could do more things, or I could go back to work, or I could do all these things.
Speaker 1:But somewhere in that healing journey, something really cool happened. Is the question changed from how do I survive? Cause here's what I knew. I knew that I wanted to live and I had a lot of life left because I was not that old Right, and I'm like God, how do I thrive? So I've learned how to survive. Now, how do I thrive? Because I don't want to be stuck where I was and like I wanted to live.
Speaker 1:And I'm like, when we ask God that question, we create a really sacred, sweet space for God to take my story, to redeem my story, to use my story for his glory, and I get to participate in it. And so he began to offer me opportunities to work with women who had lost children, are suffered grief or lead grief groups and all this stuff. And then it turned out that he took us on this journey of adoption, which wasn't in their original plan, and we adopted five siblings. And then, seven years later, we adopted again two more siblings and three years later we adopted two more siblings. And then he planted this idea for the ministry anchor point that I'm CEO of, and so we built this ministry and it is impacting thousands of families every year and making a just changing lives and doing all this wonderful stuff and we get to participate. And then he's like write the book.
Speaker 1:And you know I don't always go yes, lord, yes Lord, I'm like no, but you know. But I will tell you that none of that happens unless I experience. I go through the loss that I had, and I learned how to walk through it faithfully and trusting him in the process, and then it's just grown, this faith muscle that's allowed me to do bigger and greater things. And I know, when I sat in that room that night is that I everything changed. What I knew is the world and the colors. It was all different, and it's like everything became about eternity, cause you can't just go through something like that without it just changing.
Speaker 1:And so I knew that I wanted to be very intentional about how I live my life, because we can get to the end of our life and have a legacy. That's wonderful. However, we can just happen through it and if we get lucky, we get lucky. Or we can be very intentional about what we do and live our life to the fullest and let God use us to the best of our ability and accomplishing the things that only we are here to do, and let him make something beautiful out of it. And when I get to the end, I will have lived a legacy and I will leave a legacy that will impact people, for you know, just thinking about anchor point. If you know it'll sustain itself and it will impact people for decades right and change lives. That will get to meet and happen. So that is my parenting journey that got me to the adoptions from that way.
Speaker 2:That's absolutely incredible. I can't even believe your story. It's hard not to get emotional hearing it and to feel everything that you went through and it's so much like you're saying. You know you have to always trust in the process and his plan, because you just never, you never know, and I often say it's like later on you can connect the dots and you can see why things happened, even as traumatic and tragic as they are, traumatic and tragic as they they are.
Speaker 2:I mean I, from my personal experience, nothing, nothing like yours, but I remember you, we, I we had our first two children close together and I I loved that and I thought, oh, that's what I want to do for a third. And God had other plans, right, and we went through our own struggles and, and you know, god willing, we had our third baby. But it was about six years later and and I just now I can look back and even now there's certain things that happen with the kids' schedules that I go, oh gosh, thank God, literally. I was telling my husband yesterday. I'm like, thank you God for letting their schedules be different, so certain big milestones don't conflict with the other kids. You know just little things like that, but wow, what a journey and what a story. And, oh my gosh, I do get to be.
Speaker 1:I am a younger grandma and so I can do all those things. So life is very good, but you know, it didn't. It didn't go the way that I had originally planned. You know are the way that I do, but nothing in life ever does. And so that is why God asked us to hold our plans loosely, to plan our ways, but trust the one who directs our steps.
Speaker 2:That's beautiful. So so true and wow, so you did. You did get that wish of of being a young grandma 15 grandchildren and that's amazing and we're not done yet.
Speaker 1:I'm super excited. I love, I love the grandbabies.
Speaker 2:Oh it must be so much fun, and then I send them home. So, yeah, yeah, right, definitely, oh my gosh. So this, this experience, is what led you to writing your book yes, okay, so you listed the perfectly imperfect family.
Speaker 1:That's a collaboration book that we've done and I just do one chapter in it and the chapter in there, interestingly enough, is about the next best step. Okay, the Heart of Legacy is the book that I've written. That is like the rest of Debbie's story Plus how do you and I live a life, an intentional life, of legacy, and it's got all kind of great ideas in there for you to be, how you can be intentional and be faithful, focused, focused and fearless in how you approach your life. And then it has wonderful stories at the end of Anchor Point and life change, things that have happened through that ministry and stuff in there to inspire people to be a part of that also.
Speaker 2:That's beautiful. Well, I will absolutely be adding all of Debbie's information in the show notes and adding her her book links to her books as well, and tell us a little bit about anchor point and what you, what you've created with that.
Speaker 1:Sure, okay. So anchor point really, our goal at anchor point is to help families thrive. And, like I told you, I love kids. I'm all kids, I do all that stuff. That's my deal, and so I always want families to be successful.
Speaker 1:And so we have our Obria medical clinic that we utilize for girls who are struggling with them, like being overwhelmed with finding out they're pregnant and trying to decide whether they're going to choose life for the child they carry, life for the child they carry.
Speaker 1:So we work with them and the medical arena and then, as they make decisions to choose life which that is what we want them you know, that's our desire for them, because we believe that honors God Then they move over to our Hope Family Center where we do case management with them and baby daddies. And just like you know I don't know about you, but you know when you get kids they don't have instruction manuals and they are the instruction manuals, you know. And so you're overwhelmed and, especially if you weren't planning it, and it's just like what do I do and how do I do it? So these case managers, these life on life coaches, to these girls and guys really just say, okay, let's breathe, let's figure out what the next best step is and let's help you move. You know, move the needle on learning how to be a good mom, because you do want to be a good mom, and they'll all say yes.
Speaker 1:And so, yeah, so we have a maternity home too, for girls who are homeless that we work with for up to 18 months and to help them walk through their pregnancy, help them figure out how to get on their feet and financially be able to provide for themselves with jobs and things like that so they can sustain themselves. And then we have what we call our Hope Community Initiatives and that is pre-no classes, parenting classes. All of these are open to our community at large. Along with we run therapeutic camps in the summer for kids that are struggling. So if you have, like an adoptive family or sometimes even bio kids have trauma in their backgrounds, this is a great camp that gets you about a year and a half to two years of therapy in a week. So it's a ton of fun. So we have people come from all over the country to do that with us and we get to teach the adults because the adults go to camp. We get to work with the kids and just help that whole family unit kind of take it to the next level.
Speaker 1:And then we do recovery ministry stuff. So like sexual abuse, abortion, recovery, trauma for mostly women in our community that need a safe place to process those things because God wants to redeem those stories, and so it really is in my mind about breaking cycles, helping them, sometimes generational things. And then you know we don't want these babies coming into the world and not knowing how to help them through the world and they end up back as clients again. We don't want, you know, we don't want these babies coming into the world and not knowing how to help them through the world and they end up back as clients again. We don't want, you know, we don't want that. So we want to walk alongside the families and we've been doing that for I guess this year is about 15 years. So it's a cool thing.
Speaker 2:What an amazing, amazing service. Locally, I'm part of a foundation called single mother's outreach where we support single moms and dads also, and their families and as you're talking, I think, gosh, what a great I mean incredible what you are offering, and somehow I'm thinking, wow, it'd be so great to be able to offer both. You know, somehow combine, because what we do is similar, but you're doing such a incredible service. I mean I I think about, like you said earlier, we don't have a rule book when we become moms and I was just having another guest on recently and she she specializes in helping moms with mom guilt and overwhelm and, like you're saying, even for those of us who you know, started a little bit later in life and we chose to have our families, we're still going to experience that and we still don't have a rule book. So for these younger gals, it's got to be so much such, on a such a bigger scale, right Of experiencing all of those feelings of guilt, overwhelm and and not knowing what to do and how to handle the different stages and phases, and this is incredible. So you've been having this. You started this 15 years ago.
Speaker 2:Do you have other locations? Where? Where are you, debbie Exactly? Where is this?
Speaker 1:located. Well, we're, you know where they say, you know they call out NASA. So we're in Houston, texas. So that's where we are. And we have people, I mean for camp and stuff.
Speaker 1:We have people that often come out of the state that are just struggling with a kid and I would tell you that bio families can have just as much trauma and what we don't understand is that for a baby, you know the time in the womb and the delivery and NICU stays, these are all things that can throw the trajectory off on the child that we have to compensate for and help figure out. You know the way and it all has to do. You know a lot of it has to do with stress and different things, like that good or negative stress on the mom that passes through the umbilical cord to give elevated cortisol on the kid. So those are, you know, those are all things that we kind of look at when we're doing camp for those families. So you know, if you know of a, if anybody your listeners know of anybody that has a family, and they and usually the parents, are going, I just don't know what to do with that kid, that kid.
Speaker 1:So it's just different and I'm like you need to be at camp. That kid's so, it's just different. And I'm like you need to be at camp so because we need to learn to love and lead the children that God gives us. And you know mine all have traumatic backgrounds. So I just got nine out of nine and there was a lot of growing that I had to do to be able to be the mom that they needed me to be and that was taking care of my stuff so I could be fully present.
Speaker 2:Well, my gosh, what a gift you are to all of them. Oh, my goodness. And, like you're saying it, it really doesn't matter the origin there. There's trauma that happens across the board and you know, as you're, as you're talking, I've thought about that too. What, what kind of experience did the mom have while she was pregnant and carrying the baby? And then, like you're saying, the birth process and what kind of life were they born into? And all of those things have an impact.
Speaker 2:And I often think I'm just, you know, even though we had some of our own struggles with, with getting pregnant ourselves, I'm so grateful that I, I really love being pregnant. I loved the whole process, and not everybody does. It's not always a smooth one, right, like you're saying, depending on what goes on, it really has a lot of impact and, you know, on a whole different level I, I will share and speak on clean living and reducing toxic exposure and, and we, we know that chemicals and toxins are being passed through the umbilical cord, you know, to the baby, and so all of this is almost sounds, almost sounds so heavy for this brand new little sweet, precious life, but it's just, it's the way it is. It all gets passed on. So back to your point the importance of healing and breaking cycles so that we can give the best lives to these little ones.
Speaker 1:I think one thing that might help some of your listeners, and that I know, is that you know, life is not about us being perfect, okay and perfection. Actually it is actually better for us to run into some rough spots and have to do the restoration process. The restoration process of getting back on track or apologizing or, you know, if you start out with toxins, you clean it up. But actually that is how resilience is taught and there's freedom and knowing that it's okay, that we didn't get it all right and so we can work to restoring. God is a god of restoration and we can trust that um in the process and we can just lean in.
Speaker 1:But I love when we're at camp. I always teach dads. I'm like, if you get it right, 30 of the time your kid's gonna be okay, and the dad's like 30, I can do 30, one or three. I'm like, if you get it right, 30% of the time your kid's going to be okay, and the dad's like 30%, I can do 30%, one or three. I'm like, yeah, and like you know, if you have a baseball player and he bats 300, where does he end up? And he's like in the hall of fame.
Speaker 1:I'm like, I know that's 30%, you know, and so I think we we need to know that, even if I did some things maybe, you know, as I went through my pregnancy, or this happened or whatever it's still all redeemable and God wants to be in that business and we can trust him. So we just lean in and go. Okay, what do we need to learn and how do we make adjustments?
Speaker 2:and let's keep moving you know, beautiful, a hundred percent accurate too. I mean, that's such a great point. So I really hope all of our listeners are really taking that in and taking that to heart, because it's so very true. It's never a perfect scenario or journey and, like you're saying, those experiences we go through help build us and help build that resilience, and also, along the way we, we, we need to give ourselves grace right for those areas or experiences that maybe we didn't handle the best way. But we're learning and growing and it's, uh, it's humbling and it's, it's, it's, it's a journey and it's it's just exciting because it's always a, it's a journey of growth and it's, it's, it's, it's a journey and it's, it's just exciting because it's always a, it's a journey of growth, it's ongoing, it's just the way it is.
Speaker 1:We would like to think we arrived or whatever. But I mean, the reality is we don't arrive till we get to heaven. So all of this is a journey. I had a friend just say, well, we should be able to get there. I'm like, dude, it's the journey that we got to fall in love with, Cause it's. I mean, once I reach this certain level of perfection that I wanted to reach, right, then what's God going to do? He's going to challenge me to go to the next level.
Speaker 1:And you know, take our like. You know, like for me, okay, yeah, great, I have, you know, I work in ministry. I have, you know, seven kids at the time. And he's like start an anchor point. I'm like, are you kidding me? I'm like, really, are you serious? Can you go find someone else's address to do this, cause I'm very committed? But he's like, no, it's you. And I'm like, okay, so we, we went around with that for about two years before. I was obedient. But he will win in the end, which is good. But you know that's, that's part of it. Fall in love with the journey.
Speaker 2:And that is so true. And you know, I reminded myself this past winter when I was putting on my second I have a community, I'm building moms who flourish, and it's about all the different wellness components and helping moms put themselves as a priority when it comes to their wellness and their self-care. And I was having a phase in my planning where I was like stressing and it was about maybe a handful of days of like the process, and I was just like and I stopped myself. I said, shelly, if you're not going to enjoy this, then what's the point If you're going to stress up until the day of the event? And of course there's a lot to think about and do, but to your point, that's you just. I mean, you hit the nail on the head. I mean, yes, there's going to be challenges, for sure, it's not going to always be roses right, but for the most part, we have to find ways to enjoy that journey, grow through it, learn through it and enjoy it, and and, as you do, there's always so much joy mixed in.
Speaker 1:You know, one way to kind of look at it is you know, you and I can spend our time looking back and regretting, okay, or we can spend our time looking forward and we can worry and become anxious. And the reality is, is that only in the present can we can do anything? We can't control either one of those things. And so only in the present is where God will work with us. So we have to learn to be in the present and not pulled in these other directions, to be able to live life to the fullest. And this is where we can learn to trust him, because he's got the future, he's got the past and he's not surprised by anywhere that I sit at the moment.
Speaker 2:So he is for me, love that, yes, and that's something I stress also is being being present, and it's always been a model, you know live your life to the fullest. I've always present and it's always been a model, you know live your life to the fullest. I've always. That's always been a model I've shared through so many years, even before I became a mom. I think back. That was always kind of a model like live your life to the fullest, yeah, and be in the present moment.
Speaker 2:And I think that I know for me personally, I share often that with you know, with age comes wisdom and different phases of your life, and I think that the early phases of motherhood you're so busy with the little ones and schedules and school and work and getting them where they need to be. We don't always take that downtime and those moments to be present. And that's one thing I really try and encourage others to do is like, even if it's just five minutes, to go outside and take a couple of minutes to yourself and have that downtime and just be in that present and remind ourselves to be in that present moment because you're right, that's, that's all we have. Yeah, it's all we can do. It's all we can do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, wow, debbie, this has been really so, so touching, and before we started recording we didn't know I mean, I didn't know exactly where our direction would go, but this has just been really, really beautiful and I'm really grateful to you. I'm grateful for you being here, I'm grateful for the journey that you have been on to bring you to what you're doing now. It's just so inspiring. It really really truly is, and thank you. I'm not the first one to tell you that, by any means. I feel like we have other areas we can touch upon and talk about, so I'm thinking we might have a couple other episodes in our future.
Speaker 1:That's great. We could definitely do that. That would be fun.
Speaker 2:I love talking about all of that other stuff too, yeah you have a, you have a quite, quite a journey and many things that you can share and, oh, you're just a gem, thank you. I appreciate you so much for just opening up your heart and sharing your journey with us, and I know that that you have touched at least one heart. I mean, you've touched mine, for sure, and I always feel and I'm sure you feel the same way that if we impact and just touch one life, then we've we've done what we're meant to do, right, yeah, yeah, that's true. Thank you so much. Do you have any last words of advice or inspiration you'd like to leave with our, with our listeners?
Speaker 1:I think I would say, if you're listening and watching and you feel like you are stuck and don't know what to do, that I want you to know that you are not alone, that God sees you and he hears you and he loves you, and he looks at you and your stuckness and he smiles and he says he is there for you. And you know, you just got to find the next best step, and so I just encourage you to be courageous and go after whatever that is, because the God of yesterday, who was faithful and wrote us 66 beautiful love letters to encourage us, is the god of today and he'll be the god of tomorrow, and he smiles when he looks at you thank you you're welcome it's so beautiful.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. You're going to go ahead and leave us with that for sure. Today and to all of your listeners, I just hope you really take to heart to what debbie has shared with us today and I I know she certainly touched my heart, so I'm I know she will touch many, many hearts out there again. I will add her information in the show notes. So be sure and reach out to her and and read her books and any families that you know that could benefit from her services. Please reach out to her and let her know, and God bless you and all the work that you're doing.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 2:Amazing and, as always, take some time for yourself, do something for your wellness on this day and have a beautiful, blessed rest of your week, everyone, and we will see you next time on Words of Wellness. Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. I hope you gained value and enjoyed our time together as much as I did, and if you know someone who could benefit from today's episode, I would love and appreciate it if you could share with a friend or rate and review Words of Wellness so that more can hear this message. I love and appreciate you all. Thank you for listening and if you have any questions or topics you would like me to share in future episodes, please don't hesitate to reach out to me through my contact information that is shared in the show notes below. Again, thank you for tuning in to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I encourage you to do something for you, for your wellness, on this day. Until next time, I hope you all have a healthy, happy and blessed week. Thank you.