Words of Wellness with Shelly

Healing and Growing Through the Motherhood Journey: Breaking Free from Guilt and Overwhelm

• Shelly Jefferis • Season 2 • Episode 87

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Motherhood comes with its unique set of joys—and an often overwhelming sense of guilt many women silently carry. In this deeply personal conversation, coach Alysia Lyons shares her transformation from a guilt-ridden new mom who lost her marriage, career identity, and sense of self within months of becoming a mother to a woman who helps others navigate similar struggles.

"Time heals wounds as much as time bakes cookies. We need to add the heat," Alysia explains, capturing the essence of her approach to emotional healing. Rather than waiting for guilt to fade, she teaches mothers to recognize it as a valuable notification that their actions are out of alignment with their values—not as evidence they're failing as parents.

Alysia's journey began when she experienced multiple losses shortly after her son's birth. Her direct sales career collapsed, her military marriage ended, and she found herself questioning her worth as a mother. Through coaching, she not only rebuilt her life but discovered that many of the stories she'd told herself—including that her father didn't love her—weren't serving her growth. The moment she started looking for evidence of his love rather than its absence, everything shifted.

This conversation explores how guilt and overwhelm can creep in during the demands of motherhood. Whether you're struggling with guilt over working too much, not working at all, going through divorce, or simply feeling overwhelmed by motherhood's demands, this episode offers both practical guidance and the comforting reminder that you're not alone. This is a journey that moms experience together and learning and growing is a constant part of the amazingly rewarding journey.


CONNECT WITH ALYSIA:
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Thank you for listening to the Words of Wellness podcast with Shelly Jefferis. I am honored and so grateful to have you here and it would mean the world to me if you could take a minute to follow, leave a 5-star review and share the podcast with anyone you love and anyone you feel could benefit from the message.

Thank you and God Bless!
And remember to do something for yourself, for your wellness on this day!

In Health,
Shelly Jefferis

Speaker 1:

Time heals wounds as much as time bakes cookies. We need to add the heat.

Speaker 2:

Do you get confused by all of the information that bombards us every day on ways to improve our overall health and our overall wellness? Do you often feel stuck, unmotivated or struggle to reach your wellness goals? Do you have questions as to what exercises you should be doing, what foods you should or should not be eating, how to improve your overall emotional and mental well-being? Hello everyone, I am so excited to welcome you to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I will be your host. My goal is to answer these questions and so much more to share tips, education and inspiration around all of the components of wellness through solo and guest episodes. With 35 plus years as a health and wellness professional, a retired college professor, a speaker and a multi-passionate entrepreneur, I certainly have lots to share. However, my biggest goal and inspiration in doing this podcast is to share the wellness stories of others with you, to bring in guests who can share their journeys so that we can all learn together while making an impact on the health, the wellness and lives of all of you, our listeners. The ultimate hope is that you leave today with even just one nugget that can enhance the quality of your life, and that you will. We all will, now and into the future, live our best quality of lives, full of energy, happiness and joy. Now let's dive into our message for today.

Speaker 2:

Hello everyone, and welcome back to Words of Wellness. I hope everyone is doing amazing on this day. I want to welcome my guest and I'm very excited because we have a lot in common in the fact that we mentor and coach moms, and she is a coach for moms. She helps them overcome guilt and overwhelm, which is so incredibly important. So, alicia, welcome, I'm excited to have you and looking forward to our conversation today, absolutely. Thanks for having me. Absolutely, and you have been working with moms for quite some time, I'm guessing, or is this something new for you?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I started. Really, my journey is one of those kind of, you know, it's not a straight line, but I became a coach in 2018, sort of by accident. And in 2019, I realized that I wanted to work with moms because I had released some mom guilt that was really holding me down and weighing me down. And then, I think in 2021, I actually admitted that I wanted to be a coach. So I've really been building my business since then.

Speaker 2:

Good. So you put it out there and here you are and I admire you because I know they say you're, you know, best equipped to serve the person that you once were, or something that you've experienced. So you went through it yourself. How did you go about releasing some of that guilt and what did that look like for you? I'm just really curious for our listeners to, for those that might not realize it, maybe they're caught up in motherhood and in the busy life you know, day-to-day routine, and perhaps they are, they are going through some of that guilt and overwhelm that they they need to maybe kind of release some of it. So how did that begin for you? How did you know and how did you approach it?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I was, I was, so I didn't always want to be a mom. I'll start there. I actually spent a 10 year period of my life saying that we that I didn't want. I didn't want children at all Because I got burned out as a teenager, babysitting and doing being a camp counselor and all those kinds of things. And when my and then like the biological clock kicked in and I was like I need a baby yesterday and it didn't.

Speaker 1:

I didn't get pregnant right away and that was really disappointing for me. But when he did finally show up, a year and like 14 months later, his dad and I got divorced and that was like I didn't want to be a mom specifically, I wanted to be a family, and so that was really hard and I fell into this like pit of despair. Um and I all in a matter of six months I had lost everything that I had wrapped my identity around, like I was a top in the top 2% of a direct sales company. I was driving a free car with them, I was a wife, but not only was I a wife, I was a military wife and I had the most amazing child and and I lost each of those one by one, and then I started feeling like a terrible mom. One by one, and then I started feeling like a terrible mom and I knew that I felt better, like I felt really good about myself when I was in this top 2% of the company and that was really the only thing that I could control about whether or not I got it back. I couldn't get the husband back and so I ran across a coach who specifically coached women in this business and I signed up for the first program and then I signed up for the second program, which one of, and then the third program, which was a coaching. Well, the second one and the third one were coaching programs. So I kind of fell into coaching, but it was in order to become a better consultant for this company and then I just fell in love with the work.

Speaker 1:

I fell in love with how the work was making me feel like when I was I healed my relationship with my dad. You know, I walked around for most of my life feeling like my dad didn't love me and in like my first three months of coaching, my coach said you have a lot of evidence that your dad doesn't love you. I want to encourage you to look for some evidence that he does. And all of a sudden, these files just were unlocked of all this stuff that my, all these things my dad did to show me that he loved me and um, but it didn't fit the narrative that he didn't love me. So my brain just took that away. Um, it was a very answer to very long answer to your question. But um, it, as I, as I healed more of my stuff.

Speaker 1:

I started recognizing my triggers and I started recognizing, um, when something didn't feel right and I had a um, or when I would behave in ways that weren't, um, normal behavior for me. And so I got triggered at a doctor's appointment, with that was my son's appointment, and I walked out of the office and I was like that's weird, that's not something that I would do, I, I'll stay until they dismiss me. You know, that's not something that I would do, I I'll stay until they dismiss me, you know. And I texted my coach and I said I think I feel guilty about something and, um, I was on my way to go to this coaching program and, um, they do demos and they, everybody raised their hands of who felt guilty about something and my, my guilt was that I let somebody hurt my son and um, and when we walked through this process, uh, I felt like 50 pounds had been lifted from my shoulders and in that, like I always knew that I wanted to work with moms, but I didn't know on what. And so I just started interviewing moms like, what are you struggling with? What's going on?

Speaker 1:

And the the reoccurring theme for me was was mom guilt, and I was seeing it everywhere and you know mom's feeling guilty because they're working, mom's feeling guilty because they're not working, mom's feeling guilty because they went through divorce, mom's feeling guilty because their kid is a picky eater, like all of these things. Every single one of those was mine. But I saw but other people said them too, and so I didn't have confidence in my speaking voice. Clearly I got over that, but at the time I didn't have the confidence to speak and to coach and so I wrote a book and my book was called Good Mom Rules Ditch Mom Guilt to Find your Happy. And that was really kind of where I started.

Speaker 1:

And then, as I progressed in my business, I started seeing like it's. It's not just guilt that moms are struggling with, it's the overwhelm too, like we are overscheduled, we have a lot on our plates, um, and I saw a real the other day of a guy who was telling you what to give your mother for mother's day and he said for Mother's Day, your mom wants to not be your mom and if you have, if you're, if that's your wife, she wants to not be married either. Like just for the day. My goodness, I was laughing so hard because it's so true for some moms.

Speaker 2:

It's not true for me, because I don't have the overwhelm, I don't have, like, I don't have a life that I need to take a break from, and that's what we're dealing with as moms is we have a life that we want to take a break from this is so interesting because I came across something as well about Mother's Day and for all of our listeners, by the way, you might, depending on when you listen to this episode we are doing a few episodes that are centered around Mother's Day, because Mother's Day is this weekend and so there's quite a few different posts about it. But I saw something very similar about just having a break and I thought the same thing as you, alicia. I thought, huh, I don't really feel like I need a break from anything. I mean, I like a day just to sit back and relax, for sure, but I don't feel like the need to have a break. But I don't feel like the need to have a break and it's so interesting you bring that up because of how many moms do feel that and do really truly feel they just need a break from everything. And, like you're saying, it's because of the overwhelm. And I want to go back and, first of all, thank you for sharing your personal journey and your story and I'm sorry for what you went through, but again, I think that this is so important for our listeners, especially moms, to really listen in to what you went through, because there are so many moms like you and now where you are at. So knowing that one, you know there's hope in the midst of the messiness there's hope. And then knowing that there are also moms that have gone through it. Cause I know when you go through and I'm sure you felt this when you go through situations like that, you feel like you're the only one going through it at the time and and I just feel for you, like you're saying, everything that you were associated with in your identity was stripped away and I'm just happy that you've been able to come through it and now you can help moms going through the same thing. So that's that's the blessing in it.

Speaker 2:

You know, I guess when you can look back and connect the dots there's, there usually is some kind of reason or blessing. Later on, in the moment, it doesn't feel that you know not to make light of what you went through in any way, because in the moment it's not that way, it's just later on. Usually there's something positive that comes out of something that is negative or or challenging or traumatic. So I really applaud you for what you're doing and also really realizing and recognizing the moments that you were triggered and then finding out and diving in as to why. Because I think that's really fascinating. When we feel something like that or we act in a certain way, we're like, well, why, why did that happen, or why am I triggered by that? And for you to be able to have your coach at the time and now you're providing that to moms, to be able to talk about it and kind of dive in and take back the layers and figure it out, I think that's fascinating and so, of course, beneficial.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, a really powerful question that I asked myself on the regular is what am I making this mean?

Speaker 1:

And so I I'm not sorry for the things that I went through, because they led me to here, to where I'm at, and I love where I'm at, and I've called my son my course correctorctor, because when I'm on the wrong course, he puts me back onto the right course and the the ways that that has happened haven't always been enjoyable ways in the moment, but I'm so much happier now as a mom and as a partner than I was 12 years ago and um, on Monday I was um, I was trying to meet up with a group of um mom friends and it's a mom club and I'm new to the club and um, it's it's out of my comfort zone sometimes to go out of the house now. Thank you, covid. And so I was going to this event and I couldn't find them and I just started crying because I couldn't find them. And then I was like what am I? Why am I crying?

Speaker 1:

What am I making this mean? And what was deeper was that I was making it mean that they don't care if I'm there because I couldn't find them, when that was absolutely not the reality, like they were trying. They were actively trying to get me to them, but in the moment I was like they don't care, I'm not important, and it's like, okay, that's not true, that's really something.

Speaker 2:

It's really interesting because you just never know and I and I also have to say I feel this way too Sometimes you have you, you have a moment or a day like that that you're just a little bit more vulnerable, and that's okay too, like I think sometimes, on the flip side, there doesn't always have to be a reason. However, like you're saying, like, why am I crying over this? And it's so interesting because it just brought back a memory that I had where I was on my way to have a knee surgery. This was about two or three years ago and ultimately, I was nervous. I was nervous about having it done and I was upstairs trying to get my wedding ring off and then this ring that was my mom's wedding ring and I couldn't get them off and I started to panic. And I started to panic and I started crying and my husband's downstairs saying we need to go, we got to go and I'm like you know, I have to get these off before my surgery.

Speaker 2:

You know, I just was having this meltdown and I realized, like you're saying, that part of that was just my nerves and being apprehensive about what I was going to have done. But then I realized after the fact that I had put this ring on my finger around the time my dad died and I hadn't taken it off. And that was a flood of emotions and I could like cry right now thinking about it, but I couldn't, I couldn't pull it together Like I couldn't stop crying, like I cried all the way to the doctor's office and then when my husband couldn't come inside you know the surgery room and kiss him, I'm still like, still weepy. And you know I that wasn't completely normal as far as me being nervous for surgery. I don't.

Speaker 2:

I've had I rarely ever. I've never really had surgery, so I've had like two in my life. But that was kind of unusual. I thought why am I so? I mean, I knew I was a little nervous but then I realized most of that emotional moment was because of my ring. I was like I couldn't, I couldn't get it off, nor did I think I really probably didn't want to take it off. You know, it was just so. Anyway, as you're sharing that I just it just brought back that memory completely.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think that sometimes things are just a catalyst for for like, for like I, when it comes to our feminine cycle. My experience and I know this is not everybody's experience, but my experience is, once I started expressing my emotions regularly, um, I, I got surprised by my cycle. There wasn't like this week of everybody's pissing me off and everything's like how, like there wasn't this build-up. And then starting my period and being like, oh, that's why, because there was no, there was this constant like if you just think of a bathtub that's not plugged up, like there was just a constant flow of water going from the faucet and then out the drain. And that's how I was with my emotions. And when I have things like a surgery that I'm nervous about, or you know, I had a similar situation where I was getting a colonoscopy and they I've never had anybody have a problem finding a vein and they could not find this vein. And I'm just sitting there, you know, with my arm over my head or over my face, like with tears just streaming down my face, partly because of the pain but partly because I was nervous about having a colonoscopy done. And like what if they find something? You know, like it was just so.

Speaker 1:

Our emotions are notifications, and that's what I say about guilt too, is that your guilt is a notification. Not that, and it's not that you're bad, because I think that people hold on to like guilt is often created when I'm bad, or shame is created when I'm bad, but really the notification, the guilt, is a notification about your actions being out of alignment with your values. And most of us walking around on the planet, we don't know what's what our values are. We kind of think we do, but like we know what's important to us, but but not really you know, but not really you know. And so when you think of guilt as a notification for, um, that that your, that your actions are out of alignment with your emotions or with your, your with your values, um, then you can kind of dig in a little bit. So, okay, I feel I feel bad, I feel guilty that I'm working right now. Okay, what's the value that you're violating here? You're working when you should be doing what I should be with my kids. Okay, so inside there there's a rule that a good mom spends 24 seven with her kids. Like, what's the rule that you're breaking? We have these unconscious rules that are connected to our values, and so it's an invitation, when you're feeling guilty, to to dig a little deeper.

Speaker 1:

And this coaching program that I went to it's a biannual event and I've gone every year or every time that it's happened since 2018. I've only missed one, and when we went this time, you know I was a partner for practicing this guilt and shame tool and I genuinely don't hold on to guilt anymore. As soon as I feel it, I dig in like what is it what? What am I doing wrong? What am what rule am I violating here? Um, and there was. I was trying to come up with something, so this, this coach could practice on me and I thought, okay, there's something here with the like feel.

Speaker 1:

I feel a little bad, that my, that I cast my dad as the bad guy in in my story and when she walked me through this tool, I was like no, it's not guilt, it's just, it's just sadness, it's just grief, like my dad passed away in in 2022, and there's there's a sadness to the relationship that we did have, because I was comparing it to other people's relationships with their dad and that's not the relationship that I had with my dad.

Speaker 1:

We had a different relationship and there's sadness about it. But I did everything that I could for 10 years to connect with him when I felt the disconnection and then, after the 10 years, I was like I just I can't anymore. I have to protect my heart because I'm not getting the response that I want. Like my dad was a vanilla ice cream machine and I was asking for chocolate and he just didn't have the capacity to give me the chocolate that I wanted. And when, like and there's still like I didn't get the relationship that I wanted with my dad and that creates some sadness. But I don't wish it was different, because he was my dad. That's beautiful.

Speaker 2:

I don't wish it was different because he was my dad. That's beautiful. Yeah, you know, you often think that, even as parents ourselves, like there's never any kind of a rule book. So I often say, you know, we need to give ourselves grace as moms and dads too, and also our own parents right there.

Speaker 2:

No one is perfect and we're never really taught how to, to, to do this job the most important job on the planet as far as I'm concerned and and it's okay, you know, I mean as long as we know we're where, we're, loving our kids and doing the best we can. And obviously there's situations that are not like that, unfortunately, but for the most part, when we value being a parent and value our children and know that we're doing the best that we can, I mean it goes back to our parents. So, so, so interesting that you're sharing that. And again, kudos to you for not harboring that and carrying that on any further than you needed to, because you you had that going on for quite some time in your life and so important for your son to, to, to, not for you to not carry that over to him, I suppose, too Right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, go ahead your son. How old is he? He's 13 now, okay, so did he. So he got to know. Did he get to know your dad or no?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, he did Um and I uh, I have multiple pictures Like there was some healing that happened with seeing my dad relate to my son. My dad just was better at relating to men than he was at relating to me specifically. I don't know if it was women in general, but definitely for me, but I have all these pictures of the two of them together. That just warms my heart, and I think in April I the last time they spent any time together. I popped up as a memory on Facebook and it's, it's just beautiful. So, yes, they did get to to have a relationship, which is so special.

Speaker 2:

I mean that's, you know, I'm, just I'm, I'm happy for you and I'm happy that that was able to happen, because that's healing for you and that's special for your son to have had those moments for sure.

Speaker 1:

My, my son, was born under a magical star because he has five sets of grandparents. Oh, my goodness, all love and adore him.

Speaker 2:

Well, how Okay, I'm going to guess there are a couple of step parents mixed in. Is that what happened?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so his dad and his parents and my parents were divorced and remarried, okay, and then I have been in a relationship with my current, with my current partner for 10 years. Oh my goodness. Okay, his parents were still together until his dad passed, and so you know we've we're down a couple of grandparents, but at one point he had five sets of grandparents that they all just loved him.

Speaker 2:

That's so special, and that's that's the other thing about it too. There's so many special people in our lives, and it doesn't always have to be through blood relation. You know, I mean, it's that's really really special. Blood relation, you know, I mean, it's, that's really really special. So share a little bit, alicia, about your, your, your coaching and how. What does that look like? Do you do a group?

Speaker 1:

group coaching. I know we are really similar in what we are doing, but I would love to hear what you have to offer and so our listeners can hear as well. Yeah, so I, um, I do one-on-one coaching because I feel like one-on-one you coaching room. I didn't talk for the first four days because I was afraid of being being processed. I was afraid of them, like seeing my flaws and and, yeah, I was terrified to show up. But in the one on one setting I I never held anything back and so I also believe that there's no one size fits all for everyone. So I can tell you that guilt's a notification and I can tell you to look into your values.

Speaker 1:

But am I going to see things as a trained coach? That you're not 100%. If you look at like a baseball coach, they're, you know, they have training, they know how to put their feet, align their feet the right way so that you and align your hips and turn this. You know, um, one of my partner's friends. They were on my partner's birthday was last Saturday and they were playing baseball and, um, my son was hitting the ball and one of his friends walked up to my son and twisted his hips, twisted his shoulders said hit like this, more powerful, swing at that point, like that's what life coaches do for your life, just like coach sports coaches do for for your sports.

Speaker 1:

Um, I'm going to see some blind spots and help you see things that you're not seeing Um anyway. So I work one-on-one. I do a 12 week program, cause I feel like that's a a nice chunk that that moms are not too scared to invest the time for Um I. I like to meet weekly for 30 minutes to an hour, depending on um how much of a talker you are or how much of a talker you make me be.

Speaker 2:

I love it. I love it. That's exactly me, that's that's I look at. Like I like 12 week. I also like 10 week and, like you're saying, the one-on-one it's so dependent on the personality too. Like you're saying, you, you, you were not as open in the group setting and it's interesting to me because it can go both ways. Like maybe that's good because it helps you to become more open in that group setting. But now you've you, you did your one-on-one, now you're probably more, you know, open to being in a group. But it is very individualized, that's for sure. And, like you said, you can see things, and from a different, totally different perspective.

Speaker 2:

I had, um, a mom I was coaching a while back and we were. Her big goal was to release some weight and we kind of got on that topic and she was talking about how she kind of like starts and then just doesn't stay committed, and we were kind of talking more into it. I was trying to kind of pull some information out of her as to why. And it was really fascinating because she says I'm not really ready to share and I was like, okay, I completely respect that. But I'm like, okay, we're onto something here, you know. So it's like you're saying, having someone that can like have a different perspective and help, help to kind of start to bring some of the the information out and, like you're saying, like what you've gone through, get some of the reasons out as to why you're operating in a certain manner. You know, why are you holding onto the guilt? Why are you holding onto the weight?

Speaker 2:

Like there's so many different things, so many areas to look at, and that's one of my big loves of just wellness in general, because my background for many years, for decades, has been wellness, health and more like fitness early on and then now, like the nutrition has been over a decade, a big part of it, or actually 20 years plus, but it's so much more than that and that's why I love to do this, not just this podcast, but do put on my mom's wellness events, because I want to have speakers and information presented in all the different areas of wellness to help us be whole right, even though I just put this on my post today, it's never about perfection, it's just a process, and I used to tell my students when I taught health at the college that you know there's these different components and maybe you think about okay, I'm kind of strong, maybe in my physical health, in my social, but I need a little work on my emotional and my mental, you know, whatever it is, I mean we have strengths and then we have some areas that could be improved upon, because I never want it to be like overwhelming and and discouraging, I guess. So you probably experienced that too, where you're like, no, this, we want to encourage you and give you hope and help you to feel better and just live a healthier, happier life. What does that look like and what do we need to work on in order to achieve that? And what you're doing is it's such a huge part of it.

Speaker 2:

Almost, I think the emotional part is probably bigger than some of the other areas because, like you're saying, we hold on to that stuff and you just never know how your body's going to respond, how you're going to respond emotionally and then also how your body is going to respond, because that's a whole other topic, right, how we hold on to certain things and that it can present itself physically and emotionally. So it's just, there's so many areas, there's so many things to look at and the bottom line is, when you're doing the work and we're doing the work that we do, we can actually take that perspective and step back and look at the bigger picture and help kind of pick out what can be advantageous to work on. So really what you're doing.

Speaker 1:

I think, yes, thank you. And and I I believe in a holistic approach there's, there's body, mind and soul. There's emotions that create disease in our bodies. And one of my clients, um, had, um had an issue in her knee and it was her left knee, which, if you get into the woo-woo side of things at all, like the left side of the body, is feminine and the right side of the body is masculine energy, and so her left knee.

Speaker 1:

I started wondering, wondering. I was like, so where are you holding yourself back from moving forward and how does that relate to your femininity or whatnot? And and she had gone to a physical therapist and she realized while she was there that she hadn't cried since her stepfather died and her mom moved into her house with her. And as soon as she released that emotion and started crying, like her knee stopped hurting, wow, like went from like a 10 to like a three. I mean, that's significant in with just crying like it's this. We are not we. We are the sum of all of our parts. We are not individual parts, you know.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's such a great way to put it and I think to looking at mental wellness, emotional wellness, just as important as our physical wellness, and I think that's where, for for whatever reason, it's gotten much, much better. But through society, years ago, you know the the mental part, was not always looked at as this, like you're saying, part of the whole. It was more oh why are you talking to a therapist, what's wrong? Whereas now it's like well, there's nothing wrong, it's just someone to talk to and and and be able to bounce ideas off. And am I looking at this correctly, am I not? You know what's your perspective? Like it's just it's a healthy thing to do, whereas years ago it was almost taboo. I feel like, and it's not like that anymore, but I feel like some people still are kind of coming out of that you know, taboo feel many years ago and we know it's just not that way. It's important. Just like we get exercise, we, we put nutritious food in our bodies, we want to help our mind. It's so important is.

Speaker 1:

We want to help our mind.

Speaker 1:

It's so important.

Speaker 1:

One of the things that makes me really excited now as I look around at the parenting tips that are out there and this, like the gentle parenting, is an encouragement to allow our children to understand and express their emotions.

Speaker 1:

And you know I raising a son in this world, like I recognize that there's. You know he's picked up the message that it's not okay to cry and and and I remember telling him, I think during COVID I remember him being eight years old, so it must have been during COVID but that I told him, like you're going to get the message that it's not okay for you to cry and I want you to know that with me you can always cry, like your emotions are always safe, and I'm the person that he comes to and talks and and as he's gotten to his teenage years, it's not as much like a little different right, he needed to cry yesterday and he went for a walk. But he went for a walk and he cried like I don't care if I'm the sounding board, as long as you get it out right, right for sure.

Speaker 2:

No, that's beautiful. I, I see my voice do the same, and I I saw my dad. My dad was a crier like, and he he was a musician, and so he would get emotional, like certain music would cause him to be emotional, and I get like that too at times, and so I'm grateful for that. I really am. Well, this has been so great, alicia. I really enjoyed this. I'm going to put, of course, your information in the show notes, but for those who are listening, what's the best way for people to reach out to you?

Speaker 1:

those who are listening. What's the best way for people to reach out to you? I so I'm on all the platforms, um, and um. I'm coach Alicia Lyons on um, on all the platforms and my name is spelled a little differently it's a L Y S I A L Y O N S, Um, but my, my website's alishalyonscom, my email's info at alishalyonscom, so it's I'm, I'm findable.

Speaker 2:

Yes, you are. Well, I, I am excited about this and I that we've connected. And, oh, you know, before we started recording for our listeners, we were talking about the fact that we don't live that far from one another. So I'm hoping Alicia will be able to join my Moms who Flourish wellness event in October, because she's not too far from where I am, so that's exciting too. So we can do some collaboration for sure, Absolutely. So we can do some collaboration for sure, absolutely. So well, I guess you know if there's anything you want to share, any last minute words of inspiration or advice you want to leave with our listeners?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, I wanted to. I meant to say earlier that I created a community called the First Five, and it's the first five years of motherhood, the first five years of school-age children, the first five years of adolescence and the first five years of empty nest, and so it covers a 20-year span of motherhood, because I noticed that sometimes when you're, when you have a 13-year year old, you're not really interested in, in hearing about, um, the sleepless nights because we're breastfeeding like, or vice versa, um, and you know, the struggles of teen years can scare you as as a new mom, um, we don't need to add more. Borrow misery from the future. So that's why I created the First Five Motherhood Community. So I do have that as the group setting and then I work one-on-one.

Speaker 1:

But my final words of wisdom is I'm going to steal from my coach, sean Smith. I'm going to steal from my coach, sean Smith, and he says that time doesn't heal wounds, or time heals wounds as much as as time bakes cookies. We need to add the heat. I love it. We need to add the heat because healing, healing just doesn't happen. It just doesn't happen. Um, I talk about guilt being a notification and when I was telling a friend about it, we can look at the notification and she goes, or we could just swipe it off the screen and I was like I mean, that's the distraction in the world. We could just pretend that it doesn't exist. Sometimes our friends will say, oh don't, you shouldn't feel guilty about that. The next time that that works will be the first time that that works.

Speaker 2:

So I love it. That's so true. And the whole should and shouldn't. That's a word I try to keep out of my vocabulary as much as possible.

Speaker 1:

If I could remove a word and concept from the English language, it would be should we don't should do anything. We do things that you want to do.

Speaker 2:

Yes absolutely Well. This has been great and I love the different stages of motherhood that you focus on. I know for me I'm I'm going to be launching a group program for for empty nesters only specifically because that's that's experiencing, what I've been experiencing and that's what I've gone through and every you know you've, you've broken it up and I just was talking to a gal yesterday who has a new baby. I said every every phase is amazing up and it. And I just was talking to a gal yesterday has a new baby, as every every phase is amazing, it's just different. And I I come from the perspective too and I'm sure you know you you're going through that too where you you kind of can share with new moms or share with maybe younger moms your experience and helping them kind of know. This is kind of how the journey goes and I feel like that's a big one that I like to share with moms. When it comes to later on and they go away to college, like I didn't have anybody talk to me about what to expect with that and it was very heartbreaking, and so that's one big area that I like to.

Speaker 2:

We had a panel at our last event. You have us moms kind of shared our experiences, because I think it's just one of those topics that don't get really discussed and it's not even in a bad way, it's not it's being avoided, it just isn't out there as conversation for whatever reason. And so that's a big one that I like to just share with moms. You know what it was like and share with moms what had helped, has helped me through the years with that experience, and I think that goes for every phase, like when you're talking about the first five. There's something with each phase that we experience and we can share with other moms. And then we can also share with the up and coming moms, so they kind of have something to to, to look, you know, to base it on and know what they're going to potentially experience Not bad things, but just this might be happening and if you experience it, you're not alone. That's basically the bottom line You're not alone.

Speaker 1:

Right there, you're not alone, we are together.

Speaker 2:

We're all together on this ship. We're all together on this journey. Well, thanks, alicia, so much. This has been really a pleasure just talking to you and hearing about your story, your journey and what you're doing, and I really appreciate it.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely. Thanks for having me on in time for Mother's Day or the surrounding days around it.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. Yeah, I feel like it's one of my favorite days to celebrate and I kind of like to think that it's a month. It's a month of celebration, it's a daily celebration, but we can just bring it up a few notches in the month of May. Absolutely.

Speaker 1:

Love that.

Speaker 2:

Well, thank you so much and have a wonderful Mother's Day.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, you too. Thank you, and to all of our listeners, thank you for tuning in and, as always, do something for your wellness on this day and every day and have a beautiful, blessed rest of your week and we'll see you next time on Words of Wellness. Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode.

Speaker 2:

I hope you gained value and enjoyed our time together as much as I did, and if you know someone who could benefit from today's episode, I would love and appreciate it if you could share with a friend or rate and review words of wellness so that more can hear this message. I love and appreciate you all. Thank you for listening and if you have any questions or topics you would like me to share in future episodes, please don't hesitate to reach out to me through my contact information that is shared in the show notes below. Again, thank you for tuning in to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I encourage you to do something for you, for your wellness, on this day. Until next time, I hope you all have a healthy, happy and blessed week. Thank you you.