Words of Wellness with Shelly

Unlock Your Natural Energy Patterns & Understand Your Body's Rhythms With Miri Freidman

• Shelly Jefferis • Season 2 • Episode 81

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Have you ever wondered why some days you're bursting with motivation while others leave you feeling depleted? Miri, founder of The Women's Happiness Project, reveals how understanding your natural energy patterns through the lens of Chinese medicine's five element theory can transform your approach to wellness and self-care.

The conversation explores the revolutionary idea that wellness isn't about forcing yourself to follow rigid routines but rather tuning into what your body truly needs in each moment. Miri shares her personal journey from perfectionist all-or-nothing thinking—where only a 90-minute yoga session "counted" as exercise—to embracing a more intuitive, flexible approach that honors her changing needs and energy levels.

For mothers especially, this shift proves transformative. As Miri beautifully explains, "When mommy's dancing, she feels better. When mommy feels better, she doesn't yell at us." This simple truth highlights how our self-care radiates outward, directly affecting those around us. Whether you're struggling with "mom funk," feeling overwhelmed by conflicting wellness advice, or simply seeking more joy in your daily life, Miri offers practical wisdom on creating "magic moments" that shift your energy without requiring massive time commitments.

What's one thing you're doing that blocks your natural energy flow? By identifying and removing these obstacles—whether it's staying up too late, remaining sedentary, or consuming foods that deplete rather than nourish you—you create space for better choices to naturally emerge. Connect with The Women's Happiness Project and discover how small shifts in perspective can lead to profound improvements in your overall wellbeing and happiness.

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Thank you for listening to the Words of Wellness podcast with Shelly Jefferis. I am honored and so grateful to have you here and it would mean the world to me if you could take a minute to follow, leave a 5-star review and share the podcast with anyone you love and anyone you feel could benefit from the message.

Thank you and God Bless!
And remember to do something for yourself, for your wellness on this day!

In Health,
Shelly Jefferis

Speaker 1:

The one thing that you can always do to help the energy to flow in the way that it is naturally flowing is to take a moment and stop doing the things that you're doing that is blocking that energy. Like staying up too late, like sitting too many hours without moving, like only eating processed foods or smoking cigarettes. What is one thing that you know that you're doing that is blocking the natural flow of energy, that if you just stop that one thing, you'll feel better and it will give you more motivation to stack more better choices more motivation to stack more better choices?

Speaker 2:

Do you get confused by all of the information that bombards us every day on ways to improve our overall health and our overall wellness? Do you often feel stuck, unmotivated or struggle to reach your wellness goals? Do you have questions as to what exercises you should be doing, what foods you should or should not be eating, how to improve your overall emotional and mental well-being? Hello everyone, I am so excited to welcome you to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I will be your host. My goal is to answer these questions and so much more to share tips, education and inspiration around all of the components of wellness through solo and guest episodes. With 35 plus years as a health and wellness professional, a retired college professor, a speaker and a multi-passionate entrepreneur, I certainly have lots to share. However, my biggest goal and inspiration in doing this podcast is to share the wellness stories of others with you, to bring in guests who can share their journey so that we can all learn together while making an impact on the health, the wellness and lives of all of you, our listeners. The ultimate hope is that you leave today with even just one nugget that can enhance the quality of your life and that you will. We all will, now and into the future, live our best quality of lives, full of energy, happiness and joy. Now let's dive into our message for today. Hello everyone, and welcome back to Words of Wellness.

Speaker 2:

I want to introduce my guest today. She is the founder of the Women's Happiness Project, and I just love that title. It's an online space dedicated to healing and discovering joy. She's a mother of three, living with her beautiful family in New Zealand. She has a background in Chinese medicine and yoga, and she teaches women how to take care of themselves by making better choices that suit their own personal needs, even when they're exhausted and stressed and this is so important so that they can finally feel good enough, feel comfortable in their body and feel confident in who they are. This is all really great stuff and I'm excited to chat with you today, miri.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to the show. Thanks, shelly. I'm excited to chat with you today, mary. Welcome to the show. Thanks, shelly. I'm excited to be here, so great to have you, and I know it was a little tricky at first, kind of figuring out how to the time difference. I know I was like, oh my goodness, how do we, how do we manage this? But we're doing it and, as we were talking a little bit ago, you are living in New Zealand and you've been there for about four years. Where were you living before?

Speaker 1:

um, I was living with my husband and our kids in Melbourne, australia. Oh my goodness yeah so my husband Huey. But when we met which is a whole new episode, it's a long story when we met he was already living in Aussie, so I moved there to be with him and then I spent a decade with him there and then we decided to move back to New Zealand and it's it's definitely, it definitely feels like home now well then, that's that's great.

Speaker 2:

then you know you're in the right place. That's what's important. So you, were you ever living in the States before that? No, I'm originally from Israel. Oh my gosh, so fascinating. I love that.

Speaker 1:

I love that. In my late 20s I studied Chinese medicine and to get my degree I actually moved to China for two years and finished my studies there and did my internship in the teaching hospital in Chengdu. It's where you find all the pandas if If you ever go visit China, that's the city of pandas. And then after two years I was on my way back home. But I thought I'll have a little holiday in Thailand on my way back and that's where I met Ben on holiday. So the circumstances were all right, like I didn't need to go back home to a job or a house, or my stuff was already in storage. So I thought, okay, I'll move to Aussie, we'll see we'll see that was more than a decade ago.

Speaker 2:

Wow it's. It's so interesting to me because it's completely opposite. I pretty much lived in in California my entire life, so, and I haven't traveled. We travel, but I haven't traveled out of the country very much at all.

Speaker 2:

I mean, really the only time, which is so funny to think back years, years, years ago in high school, I took French and our teacher would take the class each, was it each year, maybe not each year, but anyhow. She would take a lot of the students to France on a trip, like to go experience it and to have the opportunity to speak the language, and I think back to that. That was an incredible experience, like I didn't realize so much. So at the time, you know, as a teenager I think I was a junior, maybe in high school, and it was quite incredible, though. We went to we, we, we landed in London, we went to Paris, we went to Switzerland, we went, we spent one night in Germany.

Speaker 2:

So I mean, I think about that now. My gosh, what an experience for a high schooler to go away and have that. We were gone for, I think, three weeks, so it was huge, but that's my big experience. I've never really lived anyplace else but here, so I'm always fascinated to hear about stories like yourselves and just how you've ended up where you are and just the experience, and I know you mentioned a little bit ago that it feels like it feels like home, it feels like the right place now, so that's really great, yeah, and also it feels good to just be here for a while and not go anywhere.

Speaker 1:

and, yeah, just tend to the garden and like really set roots, Because I never felt like I really belonged in Australia. But here there's something that I can really feel in my heart. As soon as we landed here I was like, ah yeah, that's good.

Speaker 2:

That's special. That's really, really special, mm, that's special. That's really really special. So you have been there for four years and you are now doing your coaching and your work online, or you've been doing that for quite some time. Share with us a little bit about what you do, because I love your purpose and what you are working on with other women.

Speaker 1:

I think it's so great. Yeah, well, back in the city in Melbourne, I would teach yoga in the studio and would run some women's circles and I would teach Qigong, and it was all really lovely. And when students would come to me after class and ask me about their lower back pain or they couldn't sleep and what could I recommend, I, you know, I would quite often give them an exercise that they could do or give them some, some, some tips, try this, try that. And then the next time that they would come to class, I asked them did you do it? Was it helpful? And most of them, most of them say, oh, I totally forgot, oh, I totally meant to do it and I didn't do it. And that's, most of us are like that, right, you go to acupuncture or a massage therapist or whatever other treatment that you go to get from somebody, from a therapist or, and they often, quite, quite often, they will tell you do this at home. You know, I would give some food recommendation to my patients, to my clients, and and movement recommendation, but it was really rare to have them actually do it. And so, after I had my babies and I was ready to re-emerge, to come back to to work.

Speaker 1:

I I was very privileged that I had the time and space to really think about how do I want to go about it. Do I really want to go back to the seeing people in person in my, in my Chinese medicine clinic? Do I want to do that, or do I want to dive straight into the heart of the problem, which is doing the thing that you already know are good for you, like I bet you, shelly, right now, that there's at least one thing that you know that you quote-unquote should could be doing for yourself. That will help you, for sure, feel better, but you're still not doing it, for whatever reason. Right, and anybody who's listening you know what is your thing. That's that you know. You know you could be doing. Maybe it's going to bed earlier. Maybe you know you spend too much time on your phone. Maybe you know you need to move your body more. Maybe you need to quit smoking. Right, there's at least one thing that you can think about, and so I decided to experiment with Women's Happiness Project and I started with having some of my closest friends coming over in person and we'll do some per in-person little circles and exercises and I would teach them how I would look at it from the Chinese medicine perspective and specifically from the five element theory in Chinese medicine. I just find it fascinating, personally, how it explains what we are going through and why on some days of the month I feel super motivated to do something and other days I just feel like a couch potato, right. And so we just experimented with tuning into those rhythms and, in that space of getting curious, we very mindfully decided to put away the shoulds. Oh, I should be doing this and beating up on myself for not doing enough and I could be doing more. And the other people, why, why can't I just do this one thing? And it just it was so nourishing to to do this together.

Speaker 1:

And then 2020 happened and I thought, okay, how can I take that work that I would? That I started to do in person and do it virtually, so I took everything I know from the five element theory and actually it took an extra two-year course. Then in 2020, right, everybody took more classes, more courses online. So I did a health coaching certificate, I did a yoga health coaching course for a couple years and it basically was exactly the missing link of how to get yourself into those really nourishing routines that are super basic, that you know. You know them right sleep, rest, eat more home-cooked meals, less crap, like basic, basic things, and how to actually incorporate them and put them into your every day.

Speaker 1:

And then I took everything I knew from the five element theory of Chinese medicine and how to incorporate these basic habits, habits from Ayurveda, habits from yoga, how to boost your energy so that you naturally feel motivated to go for a walk or you naturally feel like you want to eat something healthier. And that's how it started. And then we moved to the super remote location and I thought, okay, we gotta make this virtual coaching business work, and so that's my mission in this era of life to get this to work. So I just love it. I love sharing with women in our community. We have a lovely free community on Facebook, and then I've got a couple of group programs and and monthly circles and workshops, and I just I just think it's really lovely when women start to give themselves what they need.

Speaker 2:

I love it so much, I, you know. Going back to what you were saying too, it's so interesting because, it's true, there's always something that we can do a little bit better, and it's not meant to harp on ourselves, right, or to go, oh my goodness, here goes another day and I didn't go for my walk, or I didn't, you know, eat my I don't know all enough fruit for the day, or whatever the thing might be. And, as you were saying it, I go okay, yeah, you know, my husband's really good about okay, I'm going up to read, like he's very, very regimen, right, his schedule is like, and I'll be, like I'm not ready to go upstairs yet, and I'm like, okay, but he's like he's got his timing and his routine. And so it's so funny because I think, okay, yes, I could go to bed earlier. And then one thing that I've been noticing in myself, you know exercise, working out, has always been a big part of my life, and years ago I would get up and run early in the morning and get it done early in the morning before I would go to work or anything else would happen in the day, and this, of course, was when my kids were younger, so I'd have to get it done before their routine of the day, right, and we are empty nesters and even after, like, the whole country shut down and I'm teaching and working online most of the time and it's just, it lends itself. It can be, you know, pro and con, because you have your schedule, that you can pretty much dictate, dictate.

Speaker 2:

But I noticed with myself lately I keep saying, okay, shall I get your workout in a little bit earlier, like I tend to have my.

Speaker 2:

I have my nice morning routine and I take my time and and I'll be like good intention, I'm like I'm gonna get out and get my run in at such and such time. Before I know it, like two hours have passed and so it's just funny, as you were saying that, I was thinking to myself going yes, you know, those are a couple of things that I would like to do a little bit better on. But I also know on the flip side, we want to give ourselves credit for what we are doing and it's like you're saying, it's like once you get into the routine, then it becomes more of that habit and it's just such, becomes part of our lives, and but it's just doing little things. I always will say, take baby steps and incorporate those and once you have something mastered then you can add something else into the routine. So I love how you're, how you're sharing that, and I'm curious the five elements what are the five elements?

Speaker 1:

So they're different in different traditions. In Chinese medicine we're talking about the earth element, the metal element, the water element, the wood element and the fire element. And when we say the word element, in our brains we think, oh, it's like this thing, that it's always the same and it's this clear, rigid idea. But actually it's more another word to say elements is movement. The five elements are a way to explain how the energy flows in a particular season, in a particular area in your body, particular time of day, in a particular area in your body, particular time of day. Because when you look at nature right, you can see things are different. Morning feels different than night. Right, Autumn feels different than spring. Things are happening in a different way and the type of energy that is happening we describe it according to these elements. So, for example, in spring, when you look outside, right before everything starts to bloom, it was so quiet and it felt like there was nothing. Right, it wasn't true. Just because you couldn't see it doesn't mean that there's nothing. Everything is really percolating under. You know, getting ready, getting ready, but like a baby that is gestating and you never know when it's really going to come out. It's coming. You know spring is coming, you can feel spring is coming. Spring is coming, but you don't know the day that the baby is going to be born. So that is the type of energy that described the springs. One day it wasn't here and then one day, boof, it's bursting out and it's super strong. It just comes out and it goes up. Right. All the planets have to be like really strong to actually break the surface of the earth and like shoot up and be determined. And they have their vision, they're clear, they're going, nothing is stopping them. That is the type of energy that describes what's happening in spring.

Speaker 1:

And what I love about chinese medicine is what they say is look outside, look in nature, and know that everything that is happening outside is also happening within your body, within each cell, with each organ, each system, because we're not separate, right from the word that we live in. So it sometimes can be hard to understand why am I so lazy? Why can't I do these things? But it's easier to understand when you look at somebody else. Right it?

Speaker 1:

We're so good at giving advice to somebody else. Oh, you should, you should just do this thing. So it's the same. You look outside, in nature, and you realize, oh, spring is a good time to start a new project, to go for it. Of course, it has to come with the support of all the elements and the idea that what happens before spring is that you had winter and everything was really percolating under the surface, and that's when you really sit in with yourself and get clear on your purpose and your sense of confidence. And then, when spring comes, you're ready, and so it's not time to hesitate, it's time to really go for it, and so every season has its own type of energy.

Speaker 2:

I love that. I was actually, ironically enough, I just saw a post earlier today that and I don't have it all memorized, but he had taken the four different seasons and talking about the different foods, that kind of fit that season and then different projects and things that you could do for yourself and just having it fit like, kind of like what you're talking about, how it's just so interesting to me and I it just makes so much sense. And it reminds me of a couple things. One we're hearing a lot more and I didn't know this growing up, but hearing more and more about for women, like our exercise routine and what we're doing, having it fit our cycle.

Speaker 2:

And it's kind of like you're saying your energy is going to shift and change throughout the month of your cycle. And I mean for me personally, I'm I'm post menopause, so I'm like I don't, I don't know how that fits, but you still have to kind of be in tune and listen to your body, right, the signals that it's giving you, and so I think that's so fascinating. And then the other thing I was thinking I recently did a short podcast about sleep and just the cycle of daylight, like we're meant to get up with the sun, step outside, have the daylight and have the sunlight and then, as it starts to get dark, start to kind of wind down, dim the light, start to relax the body, preparing for sleep, and I just, I don't know. I am just embracing all of this because I feel like, as society, we are not taught or nor trained in this area.

Speaker 1:

I don't think at all, and oh, this is new stuff, like even after I've been through five years of studying Chinese medicine, which includes like all the Western medicine, and still nobody then talked about living according to your own rhythm of as women as I cycle. Is so true what you said? It's only, yeah, it took me becoming a mom and like feeling like I'm completely out of balance and out of harmony and have and I had so much guilt, so much self-blame for not keeping up with my practice. I was getting on the yoga mat every day at 6 am before I became pregnant for the first time and I could not keep keep that up and I started with a few years of really just beating up on myself constantly. You're so lazy, why can't you do it? Why can't you so? It just gonna just do one thing, and it took me having all my babies and slowly learning that your rhythm is so important just because somebody else who's your age, right, similar circumstances, just because they are going for a walk every day at 5am, does not necessarily mean that that's the right thing for you. And it's the same with all the food recommendations that we see on social media right now always drink lemon water. Never drink lemon water when I became a mom that really, that idea really was so surprising to me that every single advice was I could find the opposite online. Right, never train your baby to sleep, always train your baby to sleep, never give them a bottle, always give them a bottle, never give them a dummy. It was so, and that was when Ben and I started going like you know what, we're just going to tune in. And that is, I think, the most important idea that we miss when we're busy. We just miss that idea that if you want to know what's good for you first, you got to just do a quick check in and ask yourself what am I craving? What is my energy like today? Yes, yesterday I could run and I felt amazing, but what is it today? What is the weather doing today, you know?

Speaker 1:

And yesterday I had a chat with one of my clients and she said to me something that I think represents a lot of women nowadays, sadly, but we're changing that. So the way that my approach always, always includes first, before we start setting goals, you want to lose the weight, we're going to be more flexible. Whatever health goals that I help my clients achieve, sleep better. The first question is how do you want to to feel? How do you want to feel when you wake up in the morning? How do you want to feel when you go to bed at night? And then we can work from there. Okay, if I want to feel energized, what are the things that I'm doing that are blocking me? What are the things that I can add? And she said to me yesterday that she had never, not even once, considered asking herself that question. It always is about okay, here are the things that we do. That's you know. That's what we should do. You should eat this. This is what eating healthy looks like. And she never even took the time to ask herself that question.

Speaker 1:

I used to be a night owl, for sure, and that's how I that's the title that I gave myself. It was my pride and joy. I can stay up really late. That's when I got creative right. That's when I felt most like it was quiet, I could do my thing.

Speaker 1:

And it took me all the only it took me to, when I did those two years of health coaching to finally sit myself down and say tell myself you know what you've tried.

Speaker 1:

You know you tried and you're exhausted, so maybe it's time to just experiment with something else. So instead of going like right from now on, this is my new way of being and then fail and beat up on myself again to decide to just get curious and start experimenting. So that's what I did, and actually it was really fun because Ben, my husband, went in it with me together and that is so much helpful and that's how I realized that doing the thing that you want to do with somebody else is so. So it's not just helpful but it's needed. It's like the secret sauce to get success. You want to go for a walk at 8 am, find a friend who is waiting for you at the top of the road so that you have to get there, because most of us are obligers and we don't want to disappoint somebody else. But if we set a goal for ourselvesself, we're we're better at just not doing it.

Speaker 2:

Disappointing ourselves is easier yes, and it's like setting. I always like to use the example, you know, setting your alarm at I'm not an early morning exerciser, but setting your alarm at 5 am. If you know you're going to meet someone at the gym or you're like you're saying you're going to meet someone to walk, you're more prone to do it, rather than you're by yourself you can. Oh, I'm gonna snooze a little bit, sleep a little longer. So it does. It's that accountability and knowing that someone else is counting on you, particularly if you're the one picking them up.

Speaker 1:

Right, it's like they're counting on me. If I'm not there, they're screwed.

Speaker 2:

Yeah exactly I. I just love all this. I just think, exactly like you're saying, is we?

Speaker 2:

in in our society we aren't, again, also taught or encouraged. I'm not sure what the what, what it would be to take those moments of of quiet time, just to kind of sit and to ask ourselves what are we needing right now and I mean, I work on that more now, but again, it's that wisdom that comes with years later and also having the opportunity to do that more, as my life has not. You know, there's different seasons. I mean, let's face it, and your, your children, are young and we don't always have those moments where we can just have that quiet time. And that's when I encourage especially moms to just take maybe five minutes, go outside, take some deep breaths in, just take five minutes out of your day of just alone quiet time, because even just that little bit can make such a big difference and it's it's so huge. It really gives you that opportunity to really have a little bit more intuition on as to like you're saying. You know, what are you needing? What are you feeling? I know for me personally today for my workout, I took my dogs out for a walk and I shared that because I wanted to share with people that it doesn't have to always be a strenuous, high intensity kind of workout. You know it can be. Again, it's catering to what we're feeling like we need at that moment and it just felt really great. I'm like you know what, the weather's kind of chilly, I feel like taking them out and going for a walk and it was just really nice. And I think you know I still come back, come from that. I lived through that era where it was like go to the gym workout for two, three hours. You know that obviously is not necessary and nobody has time for that any longer. But it's just interesting for me and what I've done for so many years to see the changes and the evolution of our exercise programs and and nutrition.

Speaker 2:

Like you're saying, what people are sharing and there's always people are like what do I do? On one side they say yes to coffee, one side they say no to coffee. And you know, one of those things where you go, okay, quiet the noise, what do I want to do? What do I enjoy? And for me personally, like I love my coffee, I'm not going to give that up. And you know, I think we all can make healthy choices but at the same time, enjoy ourselves and enjoy our lives. I mean to me, that's always. My motto is you know, we're meant to enjoy ourselves, of course, within reason, but still make good, healthy choices the majority of the time, and then you know, enjoy your life and live your life. That that's. That's always a a big, a big one that I encourage people to do, because we do get caught up in oh shoot, now I'm not supposed to do this, what do I do? And I'm not supposed to eat this, I can't eat that, and okay, no, no, hold on. Time out, right time out. It gets crazy.

Speaker 1:

So much with so many of the things that you just said, and just going through that personal journey of evolution oh, my gosh, I used to be that way and I used to feel this way, and today I'm that way and I feel so much better and I love myself so much more and I give myself so much more grace and at the end of the day now I can love myself even when I don't do the thing right like I used to not take it. That's what we do. We dismiss the walk with the dogs. If it's not, we think that it needs to look a certain way. If for me back then, if it wasn't 90 minutes on the yoga mat during the series of stanga vinyasa yoga that you sweat your ass off, if it wasn't that I did not count it literally in my habit tracker, which I don't do anymore but back then I would not take it, it was, it did not count. And now looking back and thinking, wow, that is so wrong. And but the women that come my way and I have conversations with are doing the same thing. They're just not counting it.

Speaker 1:

So what we do together is we stack the better choices. You make one better choice and one better choice. And if today, you feel like doing the opposite you want to have the bag of chips or you want to just spend the whole day on the couch, that's great, as long as you don't spend that time beating up on yourself and speaking really mean words to yourself oh, you're so lazy. You should go do something else. If you really are enjoying that time, give it to yourself, because you know in the back of your head that most of the time, I make good choices and that is what counts for me.

Speaker 1:

If it wasn't every day back then, I was a failure. I felt like I was failing and I wasn't a good enough yogi, and I wasn't a good enough mom and I wasn't a good enough all of these things. And I think the most important thing about making those moments count is to really take the time to know yourself, understand your constitution, understand your needs and understand your challenges right now, if you're perimenopause, if you pass that, and to understand the symptoms that you're experiencing, your cravings, your emotions. They're all just symptoms of the energy flow inside your body when it's out of harmony. And when you understand those symptoms, then you know okay, I only have five minutes or two minutes. I can give myself that thing, I can eat that fruit or I can. I can make a choice that is really truly answering my need in this moment, right now, and I think that is the biggest idea that really just blows the minds of my clients.

Speaker 2:

I think you're so spot on when you talk about. You know, we've gotten in the habit of beating ourselves up if we don't complete X, y, z, rather than again going back to what we're talking about. Just being more in touch with what exactly are we needing at this moment in time, and that was really part one of the reasons that I created Moms who Flourish and the community. My goal is to empower moms specifically, to put for us to all you know, put our health, put our wellness and our self-care as a priority, rather than feeling guilty or beating ourselves up, taking that time, whatever that looks like and in our events. For me personally, when we talk about wellness to it, it's not just the health and the exercise and the nutrition, it's our financial wellness, it's our spiritual wellness, it's all of the components that make us who we are, to be our best selves and to live our best lives.

Speaker 2:

And I think that I don't know again where this comes from and you come across this. I don't know again where this comes from and you come across this, I'm sure, but it's almost like so many of us, or women or moms, feel like they need the permission to do these different things and not feel guilty about it. Like I see moms that you know, as moms, again, we're busy, so sometimes that care for ourselves gets pushed off to the side or the back burner and the whole idea is, you know, can we bring that back to the forefront? Because we need to fill our cups first before we can then fill the cups of others. And that's always what I share and I know that it sounds like that's a lot of what you're sharing as well, and if you're not getting anything else from listening to us moms and women out there, you have the permission listen to yourselves, your body, what your, you know, your needs are, and your kids thrive when you're happy.

Speaker 1:

I mean, all you need to do is look at them and they love seeing you happy. So you know, it is the little things. And for us what works really, really well is just put some music on and get mommy to dance, because when mommy's dancing she feels better. When mommy feels better, she doesn't yell at us. You know, it all works, it all works out better.

Speaker 2:

It definitely does. I just I love this conversation so much, mary, I really I'm so excited that we have connected and I know you also have a podcast. Can you share the podcast with our listeners, oh?

Speaker 1:

thanks, shelley. I literally just started it. It's called Women's Happiness Project. You can find it either on Apple podcast or Spotify, and I thought that it would be a really lovely platform to share some of my personal, more personal, personal experiences with this journey. And this conversation with you today is actually really inspiring me to to share more of that, because it was a huge struggle to to go through those first years as a mom and figuring out how to nourish myself and how to take that time for myself when there is no time and you're so tired.

Speaker 1:

And I just started sharing a little bit about my personal journey to finding my happiness. It's. You know, I call it my happiness project because it's an ongoing process. Right, you never get there, you never get it done Acquired many, many tools along the way because I got curious and interested and it was important to me. I feel really lucky to stumble upon manifestation types of books and lots of teachers like Jodie Spencer and Bruce Lipton and Abraham Hicks and Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie, and I feel really lucky that I found that in my 20s to really carve the way out, to give myself permission to even think that feeling happy is a priority, because just that felt absurd when there's so much wrongness happening around so many wrong things in the world, how can I be prioritizing my happiness, wellness, joy, um so, and it's been a process, so I I would love to share more of all of that in my podcast and have some inspiring women come to share their story.

Speaker 1:

is it and my kids make it so easy? Because the days that I feel down, the days that I I feel doubt, I doubt myself, I doubt the world. Right, I have fear about what's going to happen, the future of my children, all that stuff, uh, all I have to do is look at them and just notice that they are grumpy. They are fighting more between you know, bickering, they're, you know, less likely to be helpful, and all the only thing that needs to change is my mood. When I'm in a better mood, their health and wellness is improved, and so having kids was a really eye opener in that idea and really gave me the permission on that quite a lot lately.

Speaker 2:

As far as just reminding and some of the things I've been sharing on social reminding whoever needs to hear it that what we're focusing on is what we're going to find, that energy we focus on, or the energy we put out, comes back. And you have such a great point because I've been there where you feel like I have been a couple times where I'm like I'm feeling really positive, I have some really great things happening in my life, but then you're like oh, but then this is happening around me or this is happening in the world, and it's sometimes a, it's a struggle sometimes because you don't want to act like there's no problem. You know, and I will always try and like, qualify, like, even if I share about something, but I will also recognize, like whatever is going on around us, like we had the big fires around us back in January, like I I never wanted to come across, like, you know, not being compassionate about the other things that are going on, but at the same time, a lot of that stuff we don't have the control over. So then, when it comes to what's happening in our world and that's what I've really been trying to focus on too more so lately is what we focus on.

Speaker 2:

We find and yeah, there's a lot of chaos going on around us, but there can be a lot of really really good in the world and a lot of really really good things and a lot of really good people and I always just come back to my faith and focusing on that and knowing that I mean I'm not in charge and so much of what we have going on, we're not in control of it. So I just it's just an interesting place to be sometimes and to really realize that and I'm grateful and I feel like you understand that as well. I am grateful to have that, wherewithal to sure I get caught up in it sometimes and sure it's upsetting and and it's concerning at times, but but where we want to spend our time and our focus life. Life is too short, life is too short yeah, oh, totally it's.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's been a whirlwind like the last five years with all the things and I.

Speaker 1:

I felt like I was so good with it, you know, five years, up until five years ago, and then everything changed and shifted. Or how I navigate that, or how how can I just focus on my happiness when all this is happening and so many people are suffering? But at the end of the day, I always come back to where I am, and where I'm at is here with my family, and they are my responsibility for the everyday activities and if I don't get myself out of the frustration and anger and fear and turbulence, they suffer like. That's just as it's just the truth. It's become a regular practice. And going back to how you talked about before for months, just take five minutes outside in our community, I call it your magic moment. Is okay, I'm. Maybe I should do something about my mood right now. So I'm going to gift myself my magic moment, which can take three deep breaths. It can take 30 minutes, it can take an hour, it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is deciding ahead of time how I want to feel, and no choosing for my toolbox. What can I do right now, in this one moment, to get myself to feel that way? Is it moving my body? Most of the time is moving my body. Most of the time it's moving my body. Is it walking barefoot outside? Is it just taking deep breaths? Is it just literally playing tickle fight with my kids? And because they make me laugh and laughing is such a good therapy, right? Do I need to go to my bedroom and close my door and cry to my pillow? And do I need to take a longer moment and actually communicate my needs and say, hey, please don't interrupt me? Do I need to take a longer moment and actually communicate my needs and say, hey, please don't interrupt me, because I need to be alone right now? Just use your toolbox.

Speaker 1:

You know, if we talk about Chinese medicine or yoga, there's so many things that we can do. There's breath work, just simple mindfulness. There's journaling. There's qigong, there's acupressure points. There's qigong, there's acupressure points. There's foods. There's it's never just one thing that fits you every day, you know, because we are cyclical beings and, as women, our energy shifts and we need different things. So it's all about curiosity, experimentation. I'm going to try this. You know that that sucked. I'm never going to do that again. And it's a really good information for you. You know my friend swears by this thing, but no, it's not for me.

Speaker 2:

That's so good. Yeah, it's not. Not everything is for everyone and that's the main thing to realize. This is so good. I love this so much. Um, and what is it? I think is it Tony Robbins that says that your motion leads to emotion, like he's the big one about dancing and movement and leading that to like positive energy, right, and all the things. It's like you say whatever is needed and necessary at the moment, do that, just go ahead and do that, because once you do it, if you do have some emotions and you have to cry or whatever, once you've done it, then you can move on right. Or if you need to get your mood and boost your mood and dance and sing and whatever it might be all of the things. And again, we restrict ourselves, I think too much. We don't think about just being like spur of the moment and doing these things. That will help boost our energy and help boost our mood, and that's another thing for me.

Speaker 1:

Or nothing mentality isn't it Like? I used to be that, and most women I talk to are still like that until they shift, that's. If it's not 60 minutes in the gym, it doesn't count. Why even bother? If it's not like a proper meal cooked from from scratch at home, then whatever. I'll just open the worst thing it. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Speaker 2:

I'm so glad you said that, cause I I am a hundred percent about that, like I, I definitely, I definitely shared that that it doesn't have to be that way at all.

Speaker 1:

But again like sabotaging ourselves, and I think I think the main thing that helped me shift in that way is to really again get curious and dive deep and ask myself the important. Like I get I feel really grumpy and I get I become really short with my family and nobody's having good time. I need to have the anchor of why it's important to me to snap out of it and to be the one who gets myself out of it and feel better. It's no one's responsible, nobody is in charge of making me feel better. You know, and the kids you know they don't need to be a certain way so that I can love them or respect them or feel proud of them. Right, and I think we all we're so in our culture are caught up in I don't like to use this kind of woo-woo language, but I'll say it anyway to give away our power. We go to the doctor, to the go to the therapist, we go to the nutrition. They tell us what to eat, they tell us what to take, they tell us what type of exercise is good for our condition. They give us a diagnosis right, which puts us in a like, this constraint of like, oh so I should always do this thing and I feel like that is the biggest message that I would like to you know, call from the rooftop is it's up to you.

Speaker 1:

You get to do this for yourself and it doesn't have to look like anything else. Just find the reason important for you to keep yourself uplifted, to keep your spirit higher. You know to not let yourself fall down to the despair. Why is it important to you? Is it because you have small children? Is it because you have a bigger cause to follow and your job is important? Why and I think that is really a strong anchor to have because then, when you do fall down the spiral because we all do we're never keeping the same energy fluctuate all the time. But when you have the thought, oh my gosh, I I feel so crappy, I wish I could feel better. It's like a an opportunity for another thought to be like oh, I wonder if I could feel better right now, how would I? How do I want to feel right now? Can I do something? Can I talk to someone? Can I ask for help? Like what?

Speaker 2:

is it that's so good. I just think this is such a great conversation and you know, just to be conscientious of our listeners and of your time, I feel like we we could go on for a really long time, so I feel like we'll definitely have to hop on and do another episode because this is. There's just so many different pieces to this and we've touched upon so much and I love what you have shared, Mary. I really do, and I'm excited to share your podcast with our listeners. I will definitely put the link in the show notes and how can our listeners contact you or get in touch with you?

Speaker 1:

The best way would be to find us on facebook. Our group name is women's happiness project and. But if you are feeling like you are stuck in that loop of shooting, quote-unquote yourself and you keep beating up on yourself and you just don't know how to get out of that mum funk, I realized that that that was true for me. I never even knew that that was a saying. I was like, oh, that's what I am experiencing. If so, if you feel like you just you can't get out of that loop of guilt and shame and blame, then I created a free resource. It's a free guide to take you through a little moment in time of how to shift your mood, your focus, using mindfulness and a little meditation, and find your own magic moment. Then you can. If that is interesting to you, you can find it in womenshappinessprojectcom. Slash free. It's a free guide. It comes with a beautiful short meditation and I think it's a good way to start.

Speaker 2:

That's wonderful. I will include that in the show notes for sure, and I can't wait to check that out. This has just been really inspiring today. Thank you so much for being on. Thanks so much for having me, shelley.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's really interesting.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you're so welcome, and any last minute I mean, I feel like what you've just shared has been a wonderful way to kind of wrap this up. Is there anything else you want to, any last minute, or words of advice or inspiration you want to share?

Speaker 1:

You know, I think I'll share the last idea from Chinese medicine, because we talked about the elements and how they fluctuate differently. They move differently. One thing that you can always do to help the energy to flow in the way that it is naturally flowing is to take a moment and stop doing the things that you're doing that is blocking that energy. Like staying up too late, like sitting too too many hours without moving, like only eating processed foods or smoking cigarettes, like what is one thing that you know that you're doing that is blocking the natural flow of energy. That if you just stop that one thing, you'll feel better and it will give you the more motivation to to stack more better choices you love that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it does. It's a great positive cycle. When you get into one habit, then you want to do better in all other areas. It sounds similar to habit stacking, like you're saying really doing one thing and then you stack another good thing and then, before you know it, you've built up some really good habits, and so I love that. Thank you again so much. I really appreciate you and for all of our listeners, I will put Mary's information in the show notes and gosh, you have just heard this has been an incredible conversation. The show notes and gosh, you have just heard this has been an incredible conversation. Please reach out to her and find her, find her podcast and again, we will put her information in the show notes.

Speaker 2:

And thank you all for listening and, as always, take time for yourself on this day. Do something for your own personal wellness. And again, thank you, mary so much. We will definitely be hopping on again, for sure. Have a wonderful, blessed rest of the week, everyone, and we will see you next time.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. I hope you gained value and enjoyed our time together as much as I did, and if you know someone who could benefit from today's episode. I would love and appreciate it if you could share with a friend or rate and review words of wellness so that more can hear this message. I love and appreciate you all. Thank you for listening and if you have any questions or topics you would like me to share in future episodes, please don't hesitate to reach out to me through my contact information that is shared in the show notes below. Again, thank you for tuning in to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I encourage you to do something for you, for your wellness, on this day. Until next time, I hope you all have a healthy, happy and blessed week. Thank you.