Words of Wellness with Shelly

Healing Your Relationship with Food and Self: a Journey Beyond Emotional Eating With Jillian Scott

• Shelly Jefferis • Season 2 • Episode 79

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What if your relationship with food is actually trying to tell you something about your emotional needs? In this captivating conversation with certified trauma-informed coach Jillian Scott, we uncover the profound connection between emotional hunger and our deeper psychological longings.

Jillian courageously shares her 12-year battle with binge eating and the revelation that changed everything: food was meeting emotional needs that weren't being fulfilled elsewhere in her life. With remarkable insight, she explains how dieting and restriction created a vicious cycle that made her binge eating worse, not better. "I was trying to outrun my nutrition," she reveals. "I was trying to outrun my low self-esteem."

This episode takes us beyond surface-level nutrition advice to explore how childhood wounds shape our adult relationships with both food and people. Jillian explains how growing up without her biological father created core beliefs of unworthiness that later manifested in seeking validation from relationships and turning to food for comfort. Her perspective is refreshingly compassionate – recognizing that emotional eating served as protection at one point in our lives.

We also explore the fascinating generational patterns around food. Many of us grew up with messaging like "clean your plate" – patterns that developed during actual times of scarcity like the Great Depression but persist even when physical scarcity is no longer an issue. Understanding these historical contexts helps remove shame and brings a new level of self-compassion to our healing journey.

Whether you struggle with emotional eating or know someone who does, you'll walk away with practical wisdom and a powerful new perspective. As Jillian says, "Sometimes God takes us where we don't want to go, to create in us what couldn't have been done any other way." Your relationship with food might be the doorway to profound healing you never expected.

CONNECT WITH JILLIAN: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jillianamadea

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JillianScott

www.bodyyoucrave.com

CONNECT WITH SHELLY:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithshellyj
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ShellyJefferis

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Thank you for listening to the Words of Wellness podcast with Shelly Jefferis. I am honored and so grateful to have you here and it would mean the world to me if you could take a minute to follow, leave a 5-star review and share the podcast with anyone you love and anyone you feel could benefit from the message.

Thank you and God Bless!
And remember to do something for yourself, for your wellness on this day!

In Health,
Shelly Jefferis

Speaker 1:

And that's like that, I think, is gold, like when we can really start evaluating at that high level and see the pattern for what it is, with so much love and compassion, because, like your parents, your grandparents, like they weren't trying to hurt you in any way, it's like this was really done out of love, trying to protect you, trying to keep you alive.

Speaker 2:

Do you get confused by all of the information that bombard us every day on ways to improve our overall health and our overall wellness? Do you often feel stuck, unmotivated or struggle to reach your wellness goals? Do you have questions as to what exercises you should be doing, what foods you should or should not be eating, how to improve your overall emotional and mental well-being? Hello everyone, I am so excited to welcome you to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I will be your host. My goal is to answer these questions and so much more To share tips, education and inspiration around all of the components of wellness through solo and guest episodes.

Speaker 2:

With 35 plus years as a health and wellness professional, a retired college professor, a speaker and a multi-passionate entrepreneur, I certainly have lots to share. However, my biggest goal and inspiration in doing this podcast is to share the wellness stories of others with you, to bring in guests who can share their journeys so that we can all learn together while making an impact on the health, the wellness and lives of all of you, our listeners. The ultimate hope is that you leave today with even just one nugget that can enhance the quality of your life, and that you will. We all will, now and into the future, live our best quality of lives, full of energy, happiness and joy. Now let's dive into our message for today.

Speaker 2:

Hello everyone, and welcome back to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I will be your host, and I am very excited to introduce our guest today. And I am very excited to introduce our guest today. She is a certified trauma-informed life and health coach and the creator of the Hungry for Love podcast, which I can't wait to hear about. She specializes in empowering her clients to overcome the aftermath of emotionally abusive relationships, heal their relationship with food in their bodies and develop an unwavering self-confidence and self-belief. I love this and I'm so excited for our conversation.

Speaker 1:

Welcome, jillian Scott to our episode today. Thank you so much.

Speaker 2:

Shelly, so happy to have you. This is so great.

Speaker 1:

Yes, it's so good to connect. I love all of the people that I've connected with through podcasting. It's just been amazing. There are so many great people out there in the world doing really great, amazing, incredible things. You know, and I think that's that's always what I go back to and like that's where there's so much common ground is. We're just trying to help make people's lives better and you know, people are going to resonate with different things at different times and and it's all like, you know, all for the good and trusting that somebody is going to hear even a small thing that you say and it's going to change their life.

Speaker 2:

I love that and it's so, so true. I was just talking with another friend of mine about that. We are all doing good in the world. We want to serve and help others, and that's what it's all about. And, like you say, some people will resonate with others and that's okay. That's what it's all about. We are all doing our thing and it's just so great, so great to meet you, and I really agree with you. That has been one of the biggest blessings, I think, of having a podcast is getting to meet and connect with people I wouldn't have otherwise done.

Speaker 1:

Right, yeah, yeah exactly.

Speaker 2:

It's really, really awesome. So tell us a little bit, or tell our listeners about your background. What brought you into what you're doing initially?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, oh, I, and I love this because it's it's my own life, it's my struggle, my story, it's God using my pain to hopefully help somebody else and to help them heal better, faster, stronger, to help them to not feel so alone and to feel so discouraged. So I was a binge eater for about 12 years, didn't realize I was a binge eater, just really struggled with my weight, with my body image. I was always trying to lose weight and then when I had lost the weight, then I was terrified of regaining it back. So it was kind of like always living in fear of food and always had these food restrictions, always had to exercise, like very obsessive in a bad way. People would look at me and they'd be like, wow, you're so dedicated and committed. And no, we were like we went well beyond the dedicated, committed side into like obsessive. This is not. This is an unhealthy habit and really it was because of like low self-esteem. Right it was. I was trying to outrun my nutrition. I was trying to outrun my low self-esteem is what was happening, and I would try to outrun my binge eating from the night before, and so it would. I would have different waves, different periods of time. I might be binging more than others, but there was a really strong emotional pull. Part of why I was binging was emotional eating. It was because food met emotional needs in my life. Food met emotional needs in my life.

Speaker 1:

And especially when we go through relationships and sometimes we're raised like this, where negative emotions are not allowed, you're not supposed to feel this, you shouldn't. I think with women especially, anger is one of those like kind of forbidden emotions You're not supposed to, you should not have it. And I work with a lot of female clients where anger comes up and they're like I'm just so angry and it's because anger has been repressed for so long, maybe their entire lives, and so we need to cope. And so, in order to stuff down the emotions, we need a way to feel better in the moment, and so it's really easy to turn to food. Some people might turn to alcohol, some people might turn to sex or porn. Some people might turn to these other other things, other coping tools, coping mechanisms. So I don't think of it as an addiction. I think of it as a coping mechanism, as a as a way to self-soothe.

Speaker 1:

But that's a lot of my self-soothing was with food. I that's how I felt better in the moment, and then part of the binging habit also stemmed from the restriction, because I was dieting and restricting and trying to eat as little as humanly possible, basically, while still running five miles a day. I just I couldn't. I couldn't do that, and so my body was sending out hunger signals and cravings trying to get me to eat, and so the binges would start because of the diet that I was trying to follow and really this kind of Frankenstein diet.

Speaker 1:

And so that's really what I'm on a mission to help people do is rewire their brain, like really learn to allow and process their emotions, which sounds like very low level, like oh, that doesn't sound fun or like a great idea, but it's so that you truly can create a healthy, like peaceful, calm relationship with food where I'm not thinking about it anymore, I forget about food, I forget that I bought it, I forget that there's leftovers, like I and never did I ever forget where chocolate was hidden in the house, you know, and so, so, yeah, so a lot of what I do now really stems from my own journey a lot of the trial and error, a lot of the stress and then recognizing how the relationships component plays into it as well, as I've really become more aware of the own trauma that I experienced as a kid and growing up in the household there, and also then in different relationships and marriage and dating and and again kind of goes back to this looking to somebody else to meet my emotional needs.

Speaker 1:

So even when I knew that something was wrong or something wasn't right in the relationship, I still couldn't walk away because they were meeting a need. I felt loved, I felt special, I felt chosen, I felt wanted. It's like we have these core wounds, typically from childhood, and then it gets triggered and activated as adults and it becomes really hard to walk away. And so I'd say that's one of the biggest blessings of all of this is the compassion that I now have. I used to be quite judgy and judgmental and I didn't realize it until now, being on the other side, but it was really easy to look at somebody and say, well, just don't eat that food or just walk away. If they're not treating you well, just leave. And it's so much more complicated than that, and so it's really helping people to understand the cycles and to break them down so that they can see clearly what's at play and what's happening, and and usually in multiple areas.

Speaker 2:

That's amazing and thank you for what you are doing because you know you often hear you are best suited to serve the person you once were, whether it be five years ago, whatever.

Speaker 2:

And that's exactly what you're doing. And I think it's like you're saying it's a vicious cycle and gosh how many people most people get involved in some kind of vicious cycle like that. The first thought as you're talking, is how many of us go through life or our childhood years and have certain things come and life a little bit more, you know, in a positive way, had not been taught or didn't have any guidance, and it's like you just kind of like figure it out along the way, hopefully, and then you know you, you do like what you've done, or someone find someone like you to help sort through it and process it and come out better on the other side, and it's you just hear so many stories like this. So you know, first of all, good for you for whatever you went through to get where you are now, and then, like you say, you went through the pain and the experience and now you can help others through the similar experiences. So how do people do you work? Mostly one-on-one, or what does that look like, Jillian?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so I work one-on-one with.

Speaker 1:

What does that look like, jillian? Yeah, so I work one-on-one with clients and then I just recently launched a membership and so there's a month-to-month membership where you can come in for one month at a time or you can sign up for six months at a time. In order to really heal like emotional eating, binge eating I recommend people give yourself six to 12 months on average. Some people may take a little bit longer, some people may be a little bit shorter, but usually like, a six month time period is a good starting place. If you're a really heavy emotional or binge eater and if there's especially if there's been some physical or sexual trauma that goes along with it and that's what's triggering the binging there, it could take closer to 12 months. If there's been a lot of relationship trauma and a lot of toxic narcissistic relationships, then usually there's going to be a little bit more time required.

Speaker 1:

But that is part of why I wanted this community and having this membership is so that we can see that we're not alone, so that there is this aspect of like, we can bring to light what feels so shameful to talk about, which are a lot of like the habits around food and body image and regaining weight. We can feel so much shame around that, or even being overweight, and feeling like, okay, I know I need to lose weight, I want to, but yet I can't bring myself to do the things that I know I'm supposed to be doing, so, like what's wrong with me, you know, and we can just feel so down on ourselves and feel like something's wrong with me, when usually it's the diets that we're trying to do that aren't effective and we haven't usually at this point, uncovered what's underneath it. That stopped, like, truly stopping us at a subconscious level, from making it safe to lose the weight or safe to stop binging, safe to stop emotionally eating and and because, like, if food is your coping mechanism, food's how you feel better, well, you're going to pry this out of my cold dead hands. You know, like I'm not giving up my ice cream, I'm not giving up my chocolate or my mochas or whatever it is like to that you use. You know, just like, for me it was dating and and it was.

Speaker 1:

I had a coach who was like, you know, I'd recommend not dating for a year, and I was like a year. Are you crazy? Like absolutely not. That sounds dreadful, right, that's often how we think about dieting and weight loss. That sounds dreadful, and so we want to hurry up and do it as fast as we can and it makes a lot of sense, right. And so, you know, it's like, of course, we don't want to give up the thing when it's like.

Speaker 1:

This is what I look forward to, this is what gives me so much joy and pleasure and and it's so quick and easy and rapid, reliable, you know, and yeah, it's really.

Speaker 1:

There is like kind of twofold of like how can we go deeper and really explore these deeper facets and these deeper things, underpinning the habits, and then also bring this level of like you're not alone, underpinning the habits and then also bring this level of like you're not alone. There are a lot of women who struggle with this and I think that has been a big thing. On my journey was recognizing I was not alone that there were a lot of women in the same boat as me with relationships, being a Christian woman, getting divorced, being a, you know, an emotional eater, a binge eater There've been so many times where it's like the more we can talk about this openly and freely, I think, the more it gives us permission of like it's okay to be here and even if I don't want to stay here, you know and I can still get help, I can still get the support that I want to move forward.

Speaker 2:

It's so great what you're saying and it's it's so true. We find, I think, sometimes when we are experiencing trauma or any situation and thinking that we're the only ones and it feels like it at the moment, until you start openly talking about it, you realize, okay, I'm not alone. I'll never forget one of my best friends many, many years ago was dealing with anxiety really badly, like she had an episode where she was in her car driving on the freeway and she had an anxiety attack and initially she was embarrassed and shameful to talk about it and then, the more she talked about it, she says, oh my gosh. She says everybody I'm talking to has experienced the same thing.

Speaker 2:

And it's just such an interesting thing when we come out of ourselves right and really open up to others and realize, okay, it's not so bad, I'm not the only one, they've gotten through it, I can get through it. It just gives so much more hope and encouragement, whatever it is, and I think that's just in so many different areas of our lives. It's so, so true. I just think, like you know again, what you're doing is helping so many people because you've been there and you've done that and you realize it's not the way to go and there's light at the end of the tunnel, because once you deal with it and you process it and it's just I don't know, it's like a weight is lifted. I'm guessing right, Just a huge.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, and it's fascinating too, because I mean, we don't even talk about some of these concepts with our closest friends, with people the closest to us.

Speaker 1:

I was just talking with my best friend from high school a couple weeks ago and we've been friends for 21 years, so I've now known her longer than I've not known her in my life.

Speaker 1:

You know, like we've crossed that, that line and, uh, you know, so we've been friends over two decades and she was telling me she was like, yeah, you know, growing up I felt like a burden and I felt like I wasn't enough and I had this story and I felt really unwanted and I wasn't a priority and so much of what she was saying.

Speaker 1:

I was like shut the front door, like I felt that way like my entire life, right, like it's like we have these core common wounds that we might be experiencing slightly different, but also like it's like same, same but different. Right, we still kind of have the same concept and different circumstances, but we're still experiencing so much of the same stories and often so many of the same lies that we tell ourselves on repeat. And it's just because that's how we made sense of the world as a kid, but it was just so freeing and so amazing and I was like thank you so much for sharing this because, like I didn't realize, you felt like this and I felt like this too. So you know, it was kind of this like incredible moment yeah.

Speaker 2:

It's amazing, yeah, All these years later, to share that, and it just makes me think how, if there was some way we could impress upon ourselves or other young girls I don't know what the answer is, because I feel like so much of what we're sharing comes with wisdom, comes with life. So can you really truly translate what we've experienced to you know, being a young girl, or to other young girls? And I guess it's just the encouraging, you know, whether we have daughters or nieces or what have you and to work on empowering them to express themselves and to be open and to be confident and bold and all the things, even though there's so much more that goes into it. But it's just fascinating to me because I often think, like gosh I was when I was a young girl, I was shy. When I was a young girl, I didn't speak up and I'm like heck, now forget that nonsense. Like I'm so not a person anymore.

Speaker 2:

But, again, it just comes with that, that, that experience, life experience and wisdom and age. And so I don't know how you, you can translate to the younger generations, except for just supporting them and encouraging them to be open and to to share what they're thinking or feeling or whatever it might be to help them so they don't have to go through some of these struggles.

Speaker 1:

it might be to help them so they don't have to go through some of these struggles. Yeah, yeah, I thought about that often as well, because I don't know, like 20 years ago, if I was talking to myself like you know, 20 year old me, if I would have really been receptive, if I would have been able to hear this or process through it. You know, I kind of it's like, on one hand, I wish that, rather than seeing a nutritionist, I would have seen a therapist. That would have, you know, talked to me about, like well, why do you feel such a pressure to be thin, or why is this so important to you? Of like, I wish there was maybe more of a free space to talk openly and honestly about, like, why I wanted this or why this seemed so important. But it's, yeah, I don't know that I would have been ready for it, I don't know that it would have made much of a difference, and I know that this is the path and this is the journey that I've had to be on. And I also know I, like I love working with you know, younger, like late teenagers and people in their early twenties.

Speaker 1:

I've worked with a handful of clients who are, you know, a lot of times it'll go through their parents or, if they're in their early twenties, like they may hire me. But it's, you know, it's a very much focused on like here's what I wish I would have known at your age. And then, and even thinking about, like I'm volunteering within the college ministry, at the church I attend, and really thinking about, okay, how can I speak into their lives and use my experience to help open their eyes to you know some of what they've been through, and to make sense of it and process it. And then also to know, moving forward, like here are some things to think about, here are some things to be conscious and aware of that maybe you hadn't considered before, so so, yeah, it's.

Speaker 1:

It's been really an amazing journey to see, like, where God's led me so far, and I know the last five years I was not quite expecting and so I, like I know the next five years they're going to be probably different than what I expect. Moving forward, and that's okay. You know it's like so much of this is trusting and surrendering to the timeline and the process and I'm looking at what is it that I really need to learn? And I think that's been the biggest message was like what do I need to learn out of this experience and out of this struggle right now?

Speaker 2:

That's so good and I think it's a beautiful, such a beautiful thing what you're doing and and where you're serving. And then it's also one of those cases where you can sit back and connect the dots right. I mean, you went through what you went through For a reason. It doesn't mean it was a, you know, a positive or fun experience, but so many the more that I'm alive and the more people like talk to you. Everybody has a story right and it's like a, an easy flow. Life is never meant to be easy, but that's another thing about later on, where you can really look back and connect the dots and go okay, this is where God has taken me and why, and this is where I am today and it's really fascinating. It really really is.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and it's so good too for you to even just reflect on your own journey of, and recognizing, when you were in maybe what felt like a valley or a pit, or you were in that uphill, slog in the mud and remember and like looking back and seeing like, oh, god had a plan through it all, like he's, he's got all of this orchestrated. And so the next time you go through it it makes it a little bit easier. And the next time you go through it you're like, okay, I'm not being punished, I haven't done something wrong God's not mad at me but like this is where God needed me to be, because this is the lesson, this is the journey. There's something in me being here that's for me, for my story, or I am here to bless and benefit somebody else.

Speaker 1:

And sometimes we're not quite prepared for that and we're like, ah, but again, you're right, it's only when we look backwards that we can actually connect the dots and see it, because in those moments it just it feels like why, why, why, god, why, why are you not listening? What, what am I here for? And you do that enough. And then you're like all right, god, I'm back here again, I see you All right. So what's what's the message? And there's more, there's more trust. There might still be some fear and uncertainty, but there's, there's so much more trust and faith, and I think, like that's how God speaks to you people, and like that's how God is going to speak to you too.

Speaker 2:

A hundred percent and I I can so relate to this, because I think about when you're in the, the Valley, and you're thinking what, why is this happening? But always knowing, like I feel, like you know, we always know, especially when we we focus on our faith. First and foremost, there's always and it's so cliche, but there's always a reason. There's always a reason and and, and I know that, even though, when you're in it, there's always a reason and and, and I know that, even though when you're in it, it can be like why? And then what, what is what's good is going to come out of this, but knowing full well, at some point in the future you'll be. Oh, this is right. Again, to me, my thought too, is if you can help one person not go through this, then it was worth it. I mean, you know we go through those things and we can help one person so they don't have to go through it. It's always the way that I look at it, for sure.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely.

Speaker 2:

I love this conversation. I'm so excited that we connected. I would love to hear about your podcast.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So the podcast is called Hungry for Love, and this really came to me because so often in diets we are hungry, like we are literally trying to starve ourselves. So we are hungry for food and so often our emotional eating comes because we are hungry. We are starved for love and attention and affection and praise, and so often we look for it from somebody else and we make that somebody else's job. So if you're a woman, maybe it's a man's job. That's what I learned. So I want to be clear too of like we can have traumatic incidents and trauma can happen to us. But trauma is also what we make something mean.

Speaker 1:

And so, growing up for me, I grew up with my mom and my stepdad. My biological dad wasn't in the picture, and it wasn't just that he wasn't there. It's what I made that mean, which is I was unwanted, I was a burden, I wasn't special, I wasn't good enough, and if I was well, then he would be, he would be here, but I had a different last name. I didn't. It was funny too, because people would say how much I look like my stepdad and he. We would always just smile and nod and like, okay, but you know like I looked. I took so much after my mom. I looked just like her. Well, even now it's like I still do, but you know it's. It was those wounds that really created a sense of fear, of rejection, abandonment, and so I was constantly looking for love, praise, validation from men, and those were the emotional needs that I was seeking. And so it was fascinating to see, after really healing my emotional eating and binge eating, noticing how I was turning to a dating app after my divorce, kind of as a coping mechanism for that hit of dopamine of who likes me now, who's going to praise me, who's going to compliment me. Where can there be some fun and excitement?

Speaker 1:

And, I think, also probably a little addicted to that like toxic love still at that point, but recognizing, like what my brain was after, and it was after love bombing, it was after this really intense, really big. I want to be somebody's everything and I want them to fall. For me, you know, and I think part of it too is like romanticized books and movies and TV shows and you know, even Disney things right, where it's like you want to be somebody's everything and you know you want the prince to come and save you, kind of thing. Um, you know, and, and for me, I was like I always wanted to be the bad-ass that could also kick, you know, like you know, beat the villain. But I also was like there was an aspect of like and I want to be saved and I want to be this like feminine kind of entity and and I think that's that's often what we don't recognize is kind of this overlap of getting emotional needs met from something else, from food, from alcohol, from a person, and when that happens it makes it a lot we are more likely to put up with and endure really poor behavior and really abusive behavior because they're meeting that need for us and it's not always bad abusive behavior because they're meeting that need for us and it's not always bad.

Speaker 1:

And so this is so, yeah, so hungry for love really is about how do we learn to truly love ourselves unconditionally, not because of our size, shape or weight, not after we've achieved a goal or we have a big enough house or a new enough car or a fat enough bank account or whatever it is that we're using to kind of like deem as successful. But it's like, how do we really love ourselves now, love our bodies now, and all the way down the scale if you want to change it, because I also don't think that loving your body or that you hate your body if you want to lose weight, I think you can love your body and love your body as you're losing weight and it's you know. I think we get these such conflicting and contradictory messages. You know you've got like the diet industry that's really strong and then you have this kind of backlash to it with the body positivity, health at every size. But for me, someone who's five foot three inches, on a good day, like if I'm standing up real tall inches on a good day, like if I'm standing up real tall, I'd like I'm 120 to 125 pounds on average somewhere in there, and like if I was 225, if I was 300 pounds, like that's just not healthy for my size. Like I think we need to be really honest about is this truly healthy for us, for our bodies? And and recognize you don't have to shame yourself in order to lose weight, and so a lot of it is can we bring shame into the light? That was. That's actually the topic of the my.

Speaker 1:

My podcast for this week is is on shame. It shuts you down and we can't learn from it. All we know how to do with shame is to hide from it and to stuff it down, to eat over it, to drink over it and to keep beating ourselves up, and so so much of this is really how can we understand the psychological and emotional component and aspects of food. When we eat to please others, when we eat to make others happy, when we eat because we've been told to clean our plates right, there are so many nuances around. You know food and money and people and what's culturally acceptable, and and so it's really just breaking down and helping helping people to create the freedom with food that they truly want.

Speaker 2:

That's so good and so important. I think you know I I'm grateful I didn't didn't grow up with that. You know you have to clean your plate sort of mentality, but I know that it's out there. I don't know how much it is now, but I feel like past generations and I think I, if I remember correctly and my dad is no longer living but I think that was a motivation for him to be able to have the sweet after.

Speaker 2:

And that happens to a lot. It's like kind of a normal thing for a lot of people and I don't you know just kind of sets of sets people up for, like you're saying this not very healthy and many times toxic relationship with food or whatever the situation may be. And again, generations ago we weren't taught how to deal with all this and didn't realize the after effects either. Right, you do what you know, you do your best with what you have, right? So I think back to past generations who maybe focused on this and they didn't know it was going to have a negative effect down the road. Right, it's just so fascinating and so so important to bring all of this to light and I really, really love what you're doing with it. I think it's so so important.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 2:

Well, and you know it was protective at one point.

Speaker 1:

You know, our emotional eating was protective at one point. Our perfectionism, our people pleasing it's a survival mechanism.

Speaker 1:

It it served us for a time in our lives, but then it became maladaptive and we have to learn when it when it's time to change and to let go of certain habits and and so, like the clean your plate belief came out of. You know, you look back at like the early 1900s we had war, we had famine, we had the great depression, we hadn't. You know, there was world war one before that, world war two after that. You, like, you had a lot of uncertainty, a lot of like true food scarcity. You had a lot, you know. And then, not to mention anything happening elsewhere in the world, right, even, that's even just within the U S, not not any other outside, you know, if you're, if your parents or your grandparents are from another country, and what they may have experienced. But it made sense, right, like, well, we don't know where the next meal is coming from, so you get it while the getting's good, eat, while you can.

Speaker 1:

And most of us don't have that same like true issue with scarcity today, that scarcity comes from dieting and diet culture most often.

Speaker 1:

But yeah, I've had some clients where, even growing up, you know, and and they're a little bit older than myself, and they they had that food scarcity of, like mom didn't cook or it was a single mom and she, you know, bought pizza every night for dinner, or you know, there's maybe there's not really food in the house and there's just snacks, and so it's kind of a fend for yourself from a really early age. And so we we can really develop a lot of stories around this and like, at a time that may have been helpful, it may have been useful, and we just need to recognize when certain beliefs and certain patterns are no longer serving us. And that's like that, I think, is gold, like when we can really start evaluating at that high level and see the pattern for what it is, with so much love and compassion, because, like your parents, your grandparents, like they weren't trying to hurt you in any way, it's like this was really done out of love, trying to protect you, trying to keep you alive.

Speaker 2:

That's such a great point and I that there's repeating, because, again, they were doing the best that they knew at the time and I think you also bring up such a great point that back during the major wars and depression, and it was this time of scarcity, so that was a lot of times out of their control, but it carried over later on, right, right. So everybody has a story, right, everybody has a story and it's okay.

Speaker 2:

Just being able to again talk about it and share and just grow through it and be able to again come out on the other side and with a positive, positive outlook and being able to approach things in a healthier manner. So huge. What's the best way I'll put be putting your information in the show notes, but what's the best way for people to contact you, jillian?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so you can come connect with me on Instagram. My handle is at Jillian Amadea, and that's a great place. You can send me a message. I would love to hear what you resonated with out of this episode. You can find me at body you cravecom.

Speaker 1:

And then again, the podcast was hungry for love. So if that is something that has been on your mind, or if you've got a friend or family member that you know may be kind of struggling a little bit with food or the relationship when their body image, that is a great way to send some love and support. Because I know it's tough even approaching these topics, whether it might be a parent or a child, and it's hard bringing this up and in a loving way, without shame, without resentment, and so one of the easiest ways I've found to be able to talk about touchy subjects like this is hey, I was listening to this podcast or I was listening to this audio book and I'll share a lot of content. That way that has been. Really, it's made it a much more open door and it's also like, well, I'm listening to this and you might like it too, kind of thing. It's not like, well, you should listen to this or you need the help right Right.

Speaker 2:

It's a lot less threatening.

Speaker 1:

Right and insulting Right yeah.

Speaker 2:

So true, and I love that you're working with some younger women. You know teens, early 20s, you know it's just a crazy ride for many, for all guys and girls. It's not going to be easy go, but especially those teenage years can be challenging and the things that we go through and like again going back to what you shared in the beginning it's the stories that we tell ourselves that aren't even true, that we have to realize later on that why was I thinking that, or why was I telling me that? And then finding out why, and then just working through that and it's so, so important and thank you for doing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you're welcome.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely.

Speaker 1:

I mean, this is all just part of the journey and not everybody is is going to be an emotional eater or a binge eater or struggle with food the way that I have. You know and and a part of me is kind of envious of that Like I wish I didn't and at the same time I also know that what's that's what helps me to help people even better is having gone through it. You know, like I wish I didn't have to go through divorce. I wish that wasn't part of my story. And yet I also know that's part of what like what makes me even better at speaking to it and understanding and having gone through it, and like the, the divorce, insomnia and the fear and the anger that comes up and you know, really being able to hold space for all of that at a very deep level.

Speaker 2:

That's huge. That could be a whole other podcast for you Right. Truly because it's you're right and you know you are the best. Again, you're sharing when you've gone through the experience. That's, that's, that's huge. I see people many times share about certain topics that I'm like, okay, I don't think you've actually gone through this. Do you really truly understand it?

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

Right. So that's where you know you can speak confidently about something that you've actually been experienced for Right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's like I have only had one male gynecologist in my life and I like fired him very quickly because I was like don't you dare talk to me about cramps or birth control and what you think my body should or shouldn't be doing right now, cause you're wrong, cause you don't go through any of this. And and his excuse was like well, I have daughters and I was like, so I have a dog, like who you doesn't mean, like I'm not a vet, like I don't I don't now speak dog because I have that. Like no, oh, oh. Yes, there's still a little anger and bitterness there, I guess, but yeah, yeah, right right, but but yeah, there's a, you know you'll.

Speaker 1:

you'll have those times in life where you're like, oh yep, Learn, learn from this.

Speaker 2:

For sure, for sure. What would be any last bits of advice, inspiration you'd want to leave with our listeners?

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So I'd say there's. There's two things. One of my favorite quotes is sometimes God takes us where we don't want to go, to create in us what couldn't have been done any other way, and it's really like trusting and putting your faith and belief and trusting in this co-creation that you and God are creating together and what he's doing in your life, and I'm really believing that. Yep, sometimes you might end up or you might find yourself in a place where you're like I don't wanna be here, this is not what I wanted, and yet it's because it's like that was the only way that God was gonna get you to move in the direction that you needed to move in, and I just I find so much peace in that and kind of coming into and through a season where I felt a little bit of that again and recognizing and being able to reflect back on the multiple times when that's come up in my life and trusting even deeper. Now, all right, there's something else here. You've got a message. There's more learning, there's something else to be gained from this. So I'm all in, let's go.

Speaker 1:

And so if and if you are struggling with emotional eating or binge eating, the best place to start by kind of exploring this is to really to ask yourself am I hungry? Before I start eating. So when you walk into the kitchen, the pantry, the open, the refrigerator, before you start eating, really ask yourself like, am I physically hungry? Because so often I'd be reaching for food and until I started asking myself this question, it was just the automatic auto pilot response. But when I started asking, okay, am I hungry? And the answer was no, there's still permission to eat, you can still eat, but we're going to eat eyes wide open. Now we want to be very conscious and recognize, okay, I'm not hungry, but I'm reaching for this food. And maybe you don't have the capacity or the bandwidth to fully explore why in that moment, but I would really encourage you to later, if you, especially if you are going to eat, to explore okay, what was happening, what was I feeling, what emotion was I trying to avoid, what emotion was I trying to create?

Speaker 1:

And and by doing some of these simple things, you'll start to create some shifts in that awareness. Or even just I mean I would put sticky notes on different snack foods that I would just read like are you hungry? And sometimes the answer was yes and it's like, okay, yes, I need some food. My body is hungry, and then other times it was. No, I'm not. So let me get out of the kitchen, let me take myself out of this room. But so let me get out of the kitchen, let me take myself out of this room. But those are some simple steps to really start exploring this and getting clear on what's happening, because there's a message. The emotional eating, the binge eating, the coping mechanisms they are there to deliver a message and it's our job now to decode them and understand what is the pattern so that we can interrupt it. And if you want some more help with that, that's exactly what I do with people. But that's a great place to start exploring this on your own.

Speaker 2:

So good, so very good. I love all of that and I'm going to go back and listen to your quote and write it down because it's beautiful. I love that. You shared that. Thank you, and thank you so much for taking time to be on our episode today. Jillian, thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, this is so good and so much fun. You're such an amazing host and so easy to talk to, so thank you for this opportunity.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I appreciate that so much. Well, I just love it Like we talked about the beginning getting to to meet new people and connect and have a conversation and learn. You know, I'm always learning from others and I just always love hearing what people are doing and the difference that they're making in the world when it comes to overall wellness. And that was my mission and still is with my podcast is to share not only my messages and what I've learned, but also to bring guests in and be able to share what they're doing with the world. I mean, the more that we do this, the more we can have an impact on everybody and their health and their wellness and just life in general right, right, absolutely.

Speaker 2:

So thank you so much. I can't wait to stay in touch and we'll have to hop on and do this again, absolutely yes, yeah, thank you again. Thank you, jillian, and again I will have Jillian's information in the show notes and, as always, I want to encourage all of you to do something for your wellness on this day and, gosh, keep in mind this information that Jillian has shared, even if maybe it's not something that you're experiencing right now, that Jillian has shared, even if maybe it's not something that you're experiencing right now. I'm sure you probably know a friend, a girlfriend or someone's daughter, someone maybe, who might be feeling challenged in this area, and please share this episode, share Jillian's information with them and get the word out, as she is there, as you heard today, just there to help and to help everyone live healthier, happier lives, which is what it's all about. So, again, have a wonderful, blessed week, everyone, and we will see you next time on Words of Wellness.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. I hope you gained value and enjoyed our time together as much as I did, and if you know someone who could benefit from today's episode, I would love and appreciate it if you could share with a friend, or rate and review Words of Wellness, so that more can hear this message. I love and appreciate you all. Thank you for listening and if you have any questions or topics you would like me to share in future episodes, please don't hesitate to reach out to me through my contact information that is shared in the show notes below. Again, thank you for tuning in to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I encourage you to do something for you, for your wellness, on this day. Until next time, I hope you all have a healthy, happy and blessed week, thank you.