Words of Wellness with Shelly

Balancing Heartache and Hope: Shelly Reflects on Her Mother's Legacy

• Shelly Jefferis • Season 1 • Episode 48

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Losing a loved one is never easy, but what if there were ways to find solace and inspiration amidst the pain? As the anniversary of my mom's passing is approaching, join me, as I share the personal story of my mother’s unexpected cancer diagnosis, her vibrant life, and the emotional journey of caring for her and spending time with her during her final months. 

This heartfelt episode also explores the delicate balance of family responsibilities and the heartbreak of watching a loved one decline. I recount the cherished moments, including the poignant memory of singing happy birthday to my mom one last time, and the solace found in honoring her memory each year. Through sharing these experiences, I hope to bring comfort and encouragement to those navigating similar paths. 

Tune in every Wednesday at 11:00 am PST for new episodes of "Words of Wellness," where I will introduce you to experts in the field of wellness and will offer practical tips from my 35+ years in the health and wellness field. I will also introduce you to inspiring guests who will share their wellness journeys with the goal of enriching and inspiring you in your life, along your wellness journey in a way to brighten your days with energy, enlightenment and joy.

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Thank you for listening to the Words of Wellness podcast with Shelly Jefferis. I am honored and so grateful to have you here and it would mean the world to me if you could take a minute to follow, leave a 5-star review and share the podcast with anyone you love and anyone you feel could benefit from the message.

Thank you and God Bless!
And remember to do something for yourself, for your wellness on this day!

In Health,
Shelly Jefferis

Speaker 1:

And she said your mom's breathing has become very labored. I think you should come now. And so you know. I was grateful that I was ready. I was getting ready to go to church, I was ready to walk out the door, so I grabbed my belongings and I left, and within probably 10, maybe 15 minutes max, I walked into mom's room and she was already gone.

Speaker 1:

Do you get confused by all of the information that bombards us every day on ways to improve our overall health and our overall wellness? Do you often feel stuck, unmotivated or struggle to reach your wellness goals? Do you have questions as to what exercises you should be doing, what foods you should or should not be eating, how to improve your overall emotional and mental well-being? Hello everyone, I am so excited to welcome you to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I will be your host. My goal is to answer these questions and so much more to share tips, education and inspiration around all of the components of wellness through solo and guest episodes. With 35 plus years as a health and wellness professional, a retired college professor, a speaker and a multi-passionate entrepreneur, I certainly have lots to share. However, my biggest goal and inspiration in doing this podcast is to share the wellness stories of others with you, to bring in guests who can share their journeys so that we can all learn together while making an impact on the health, the wellness and lives of all of you, our listeners. The ultimate hope is that you leave today with even just one nugget that can enhance the quality of your life, and that you will we all will, now and into the future, live our best quality of lives, full of energy, happiness and joy.

Speaker 1:

Now let's dive into our message for today. Hello everyone, and welcome back to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I will be your host, and if you are new with us today, welcome, so excited to have you here. And for those of you who have been joining us and listening in and supporting, I want to give you my sincerest gratitude and say thank you. I appreciate all of my listeners so very much and I want to also encourage you to share any and all episodes that speak to you, that add value to you. Please feel free to share them with friends and with family, because, ultimately, the purpose of me starting my podcast was to help get education information out to the world about wellness, complete wellness, and also to inspire all of you to take steps to always be improving your overall health and your overall wellness. So I'm just so grateful for all of you who tune in each week. For those of you who might be new, a new episode comes out every Wednesday for Wellness Wednesday at 11 am Pacific Standard Time, and once in a while I release an additional episode, but there's always an episode that comes out every week on Wednesday. So continue to follow along, continue to listen and thank you again so much for all of your continued support.

Speaker 1:

I wanted to jump in today and share a little bit about my experience that I had, and also to kind of give tribute and to honor my mom and you know we are coming up on the anniversary of her death, on the anniversary of her death, and I just wanted to share a little bit about the experience that we had and what happened with my mom. And you know, when I think back, I think of my mom as a vibrant, healthy, beautiful woman and of course, I'm sure she had her moments through the years, but later on in life she was really taking care of herself and I always saw that as a young girl as well, she was always, I feel like a great example to my sister and myself with taking care of ourselves, trying to eat healthy the best that we could through those younger years, taking care of our bodies, taking care of our skin. She did all of those things and she, she, was such a great example to us. And so later on in life, there was a moment, many, many years later on, that my mom went into the hospital thinking that she was having gallstones and only to come out with a cancer diagnosis, and of course, it was shocking, and many of you, most of us, have had our lives touched by someone who has dealt with this and many of you can relate to the experience. It's not, of course, something that we ever want to hear, and it was very shocking, very surprising, and it was very shocking, very surprising.

Speaker 1:

But I really had no doubt that mom would be okay, that she would beat this, and so she started her journey, of course, onto treatment and went to various places and went to some very well-known places for treatment, and it was quite a few months later, almost not quite a year later, that it seemed like she was declining, and I'll never forget my husband telling me you need to go, you need to go be with your mom and at the time she was living in Arizona and so I started to travel out there each weekend, and for those of you who are moms with young children especially, it was a really big challenge for me, as I felt pulled in different directions. I didn't want to leave my immediate family and my children and my husband, but I knew I needed to go be with my mom and I knew that my husband was right. He says you need to go and you need to go be with her. So I spent time traveling back and forth on the weekends and then it came time for her to be admitted into hospice and I was still going there each weekend spending time with her, my sister and I spending time with her and and you know, the journey journey was really tough. It was really heartbreaking and in for those of you who have gone through this, seeing those that you love start to decline, seeing their health decline, and there's nothing that you can do is is one of the most heartbreaking experiences ever, experiences ever, and so we were there just to comfort mom and be by her side. And one particular morning it was a Sunday morning, and here's a here's a little bit of the backstory. My mom and I both have birthdays in September and on this particular, it was a Saturday that I arrived and her birthday was the next day, and so my sister and I stayed up until midnight, we were by her side and we sang happy birthday to her.

Speaker 1:

Now, by this point, mom was not able to really talk or communicate and I have to tell you that when that started, where she was not able to verbalize and speak, that was heart-wrenching, it really was. And so you know, we were with her. You could tell that she was smiling and just felt comforted and we sang happy birthday to her. And then we left and I had decided that the next morning, sunday morning, I would get up and go to church. She had a really cute little white church that she had been attending and I wanted to go experience that. And I thought I'll go to church before I go see mom.

Speaker 1:

And as I was getting ready, the nurse called me and she said your mom's breathing has become very labored labored, I think you, you should come now. And so you know I I was grateful that I was. I was ready, I was getting ready to go to church, I was ready to to walk out the door, so I grabbed my belongings and I I left and within probably 10, maybe 15 minutes max, I walked into mom's room and she was already gone. And so I feel emotional, thinking about it now and talking about it, and you know it never goes away. You know the feelings and the experience and it was one of those moments where I thought and I wanted to be with her. You know I didn't want her to be alone, but then I just knew, for whatever reason, I knew that mom didn't want my sister and I there with her when she took her final breath. I mean, I, I missed, I missed it within minutes and I just have to believe she just didn't want us to be and be present for that, and so that that was the day that she left us.

Speaker 1:

It was nearly almost a year after her diagnosis and, yes, mom died on her birthday, her 67th birthday, and and you know, although it's been quite a few years now, it still feels like yesterday. And I just wanted to do a little tribute to her and to honor her, as I am recording this and we are just a few days away from September 21st, and I make a point every single year on September 21st to honor my mom. On September 21st, to honor my mom, I go to the beach, which was one of her favorite places which, ironically, it is my favorite place as well and I just spend time just thinking about mom, honoring her and just being in the moment and taking that time and, like I said, I've done that every year since she died. It's been 15 years and it is a day that I just spend honoring my mom, and I want to finish off by saying that mom was very loving. She had a beautiful smile, she had a great laugh, she was kind to everyone and, of course, I miss her dearly and I know she's always with me and she's always with us as a family and she's always with her grandbabies.

Speaker 1:

Her grandbabies meant, of course, the world to her, and so, again, I just wanted to take time to honor her and share a little bit about her with you all, and for those of you who have lost parents or loved ones or those close to you, please share, and I don't know what you might do in remembrance of them, but I want to just encourage you to take time to honor them, and you probably are doing that already, but I've always, just like I said, done things that mom would have loved and that's what I will continue to do and, quite frankly, I treat it like a holiday. I treat it like a holiday and I take that time to honor my sweet mom, to honor my sweet mom. So, like I said, because it's coming up to that date of September 21st, I just wanted to hop in and share a little bit with you all, a little bit of my story, and share my mom with you all, and I hope you find some comfort in this episode and just know that maybe you're going through it now, maybe you've recently lost a loved one, and I just want to share that. It does get easier. But at the same time, we always will have that spot, a little bit of that emptiness inside of us, inside of our hearts, and that's, that's just normal and, I guess, just words of encouragement, knowing that they are always with us, they're always in our hearts, they're always with us, they're always in our hearts, they're always, they're always around us. And so again, sending out much love to you all and I hope and pray this adds value to you.

Speaker 1:

And again, if you've gone through a similar experience, I hope that you find comfort in what I'm sharing and, as always, please feel free to reach out to me. My Instagram handle and my Facebook handle is in the show notes. Feel free to message me and feel free to share any takeaways. Feel free to share with me maybe your experience and and how maybe this episode has, has touched you, and that's what I hope that it does. And, as always, take time for you and your wellness, and just know that the purpose of this podcast is to share all elements of wellness, and that comes also to our mental and our emotional well-being, and so that's why I'm sharing with you today what I am, and so, again, I hope you find value, have a beautiful, blessed rest of your week and I will see you next time on Words of Wellness.

Speaker 1:

Have a great week everyone. Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. I hope you gained value and enjoyed our time together as much as I did, and if you know someone who could benefit from today's episode, I would love and appreciate it if you could share with a friend or rate and review words of wellness so that more can hear this message. I love and appreciate you all. Thank you for listening and if you have any questions or topics you would like me to share in future episodes, please don't hesitate to reach out to me through my contact information that is shared in the show notes below. Again, thank you for tuning in to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I encourage you to do something for you, for your wellness, on this day. Until next time, I hope you all have a healthy, happy and blessed week. Thank you, you.